2:29 AM

Chapter Sixty-Four

I'm getting ready for Ellie's funeral. I spent two weeks in that motel room thinking and grieving for Ellie. I didn't answer any calls or read any texts. I don't know how many times I read her letter. But I finally made peace with her death.

Ms. Hopkins called me yesterday and told me the funeral was today. I drove back and stayed with her. She's still moving on.

I pull on black panties and a black bra. I slip into a simple black dress that's the same shade as my hair. I slide on black panty hose and black heels. I do my makeup next, applying foundation and concealer, trying to cover the bags under my eyes. I do mascara and black eyeliner. I curl my hair loosely and gloss my lips in a dark raspberry shade.

I walk into Rose's room. She asked me to call her Rose instead of Ms. Hopkins. "Are you ready?" I ask. She nods and grabs my hand as we walk out to the car waiting to drive us to the cemetery where she's being buried. We don't talk.

Rose and I get out of the car and walk to her casket. It's a beautiful day out. The sky's blue, clouds are in the sky, the sun's bright. No one is here yet. People should be arriving in fifteen minutes.

Rose tightens her grip on my hand when she sees Ellie. Ellie's skin is grey, her eyes are shut. She has a bow tied in her hair and a dark purple dress on. She looks peaceful, at ease. "She's in a better place," I murmur. Rose nods.

The priest comes and people start arriving. All of the seats are filled quickly, so people stand. There's easily two hundred people. After a while the priest starts talking. "We are gathered here today to mourn the death of Eleanor Rosanna Hopkins." He says a prayer and a couple of other things. It's Rose's turn to talk.

"Eleanor was my daughter," she starts, but her voice breaks and tears fall from her eyes. She presses her hand to her mouth, suppressing a sob. I grab her hand.

"I'm Andy, not all of you know me, but I was Eleanor's friend. She was a sister to me. It's unfair that she died so young, but as she said, it was her time. She knew she wasn't going to live forever and she made peace with that. Those of you that were blessed with encountering Eleanor know that she was a ray of sunshine. A breath of fresh air. She was light on a dark day. She wanted us to treasure the time we had with her and move on. Eleanor is finally at ease, no longer sick or tired," I say.

People come up and pay their respects. Each person blurs into the next. Until him. Ian and Bryce walk up with their parents. Ian's eyes are red. He hugs me and Rose and then goes over to her casket.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Bryce says. He looks the same. "How are you doing?"

"I'm better," I say. He sighs and then pulls me into a hug. His arms wrap around me a he presses me into his chest. It feels so good to be held by him. I press my face into him and inhale his scent. "I missed you," I murmur. His arms tighten around me.

"I missed you too," he says. He pulls away. "Can we talk later?" Bryce asks. I nod. He walks away, following his family.

After a while Rose and I throw flowers onto her casket as it's put into the ground. Rose and I say our final goodbyes before getting back in the car. We're having another gathering at a bar.

"Are you okay?" I ask Rose. She nods. We get to the bar. People are already there. It's pretty packed.

"I'm going to get a drink. I'll see you later," she says and then wanders off. I scan the room looking for Bryce. I'm going to tell him I love him. My mind drifts to Ellie's letter. She told me not to let him go.

I walk around. I don't recognize most of the people. A hand brushes my waist and I turn to the side. It's Bryce. "Hi," I say.

"Hey," he says. "Can we go somewhere more private?" he asks. I nod. He leads me outside. "Where did you go?"

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I saw you at graduation. You were a mess, out of it, I didn't see you after that. I tried calling you," Bryce says.

"I left. I needed to be away from here. I ended up at a cheap motel," I tell Bryce.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks. I nod. "You've lost weight." I hadn't realized that.

"Ellie's death hit me pretty hard," I say. I bite my lip. "So, how have you been?" I ask.

"Pretty good," he says.

"Bryce, I need to tell you something," I say. "I...I'm in love with you."

He shakes his head.