2:29 AM

Chapter Sixty-One

I've been doing a lot of thinking. It's Tuesday and Graduation is tomorrow. Ellie's already on Summer break so she's away at a friend's house. I'm in my car driving. I have two stops to make.

I've spent every day since Saturday thinking about Colton and Bryce. A lot of things have cleared up and I know what I need to do. I park my car and press the intercom button to Colton's apartment. "Hello?" he asks.

"Hey, it's Andy. Can we talk?"

"Sure. I'll buzz up," he says. He lets me in and I take the elevator up to his floor. He lets me into his apartment. "Hey," he says, smiling. "Come in."

I walk in. "I've been thinking about what you said at Prom," I tell him. We sit down at the table.

"And?" Colton asks.

"I don't think you love me," I say. He frowns.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I think you want to love me. We were good together, Colton. We really were. We haven't been good for a while," I say. He looks confused. "I mean, why would you cheat on me if you loved me?"

"It was because of my dad's death," Colton says.

"I know about what happened. I would get it if you did it once or twice. But it wasn't once or twice, was it Colton?" I ask. He looks at the ground.

"No," he says.

"Did you ever think it was wrong? Did I ever cross your mind? You cheated with multiple girls, lots of times. Did you think about me once?" I ask.

"No," Colton says. His eyes meet mine. He looks sad, ashamed.

"I don't want you to feel bad," I tell him. "You do what you have to do. I understand. And, Colton?"

"Yeah?" he asks.

"I don't care that you cheated. I haven't lost any sleep over it and neither should you," I say.

"It didn't bother you at all? I was a total dick," Colton says.

"It's in the past," I tell him. "We were good together. I think I loved you once, but I don't love you anymore."

"You're wrong," Colton tells me. "You're wrong. You love me."

"Didn't you just hear me? I don't love you," I say. Oh, shit. Coton's not taking his very well.

"I love you and you love me," Colton says. "We're supposed to be together." I shake my head.

"I don't know how many time I have to tell you, Colton, I don't love you," I say. His eyes bore into mine.

"You have to," he says. How do I tell him about Bryce?

"Look, Colton, I loved you once," I say slowly.

"And you still love me now," Colton tells me.

"I don't."

"You do," he says. Nothing's getting through to him.

"I'm in love with Bryce!" I say. Something registers on Colton's face. His hand slams the table. I don't flinch.

"You're lying," Colton says. I stand up.

"Tell yourself whatever you need to," I say. I start walking towards the door. He grabs my arm.

"Damn it, Andy! You love me!" Colton yells. I shrug out his grip.

"I don't fucking love you. Get it though your head," I say. "Goodbye Colton."

I walk away and step into the elevator. Colton runs down the hallway and the elevator doors close in his face.

I sigh. That didn't go very well. Colton's a good guy when it comes down to it and I don't hate him. At least I told him. The elevator opens.

I run to my car.

I'm going to tell Bryce I love him. I'm driving to his house without a plan. All I know is that I'm going to knock on the door or throw rocks at his window or something. But he's going to know that I love him and I hope that's enough.

I'm five minutes away from his house when my phone rings. I answer it. "Hello?"

"Hi, Andy. It's Linda Matthews," she says. She's Ellie's doctor.

"Oh, hey Dr. Matthews. Is everything okay?" I ask.

"I'm afraid not," she says. "Are you driving?"

"Yeah. Why?" I ask.

"You should pull over," she says. I frown and pull over.

"What's wrong? Is Ellie okay?" I ask.

"No, Andy," Dr. Matthews says. "Eleanor is dead."