On Thin Ice (Prequel to Guild)

Prologue: Glimpses of Light

                  Lady Yuina Mongonai Kimsura had forgotten what it was like to be warm.

She could remember the glow of firelight reflected in the whites of baba's eyes as she spun her tales- but she couldn't remember how it felt on her skin. How it dazzled her eyes but made her heartbeat slow, content. She remembered the softness of those aged lips against her cheek, the way they tickled as she whispered and sung.

Tsag khugatsaa öngörlöö. There was a time far far from near...

But she could not call back her warmth.

She could not recall the feeling of her husband's arms wrapped around her at night- so strong and yet so gentle. But she could remember the ice in his eyes. The venom in his voice:

You are poison.

She remembered the way the fire pillaged their love. The way it devoured his wedding bead.

You are poison. You've been slowly killing me all this time.

She remembered the way it thrashed and hissed and screamed as it popped, sizzled, and melted away.

And I haven't noticed until now.

But she could not remember his warmth.

She could only remember how much she'd sobbed.

It's not true. I love you.

She would never hold her son again.

You mustn't believe them. I love you, I love you, I love you.

 She would never hold her son again. She would never feel the warmth of his smile- hear his laughter at the snowflakes on his tongue. She would never see her son again because they were going to kill her. She would never hold her son again and they were going to ruin him.

It was so like the City of Lights to snuff his out.

Majka?

It hurt. Oh, spirits, it hurt and the thought of him- her baby, her little fawn- made her dying heart decay.

I love you, she'd told him. She'd told him dozens of times even though she knew it wouldn't matter. These people were clever and cunning and cruel. They would steal the light from her son. They would steel his heart and take his tears. I love you, she'd cried. It's not true. I love you. You mustn't believe them. I love you, I love you, I love you.

And it meant nothing- nothing to these people.

It wouldn't matter to him soon, either. She wouldn't matter.

They would teach her son to hate.

Sünsnii össön üyed aris shir. When the spirits rose with scales so clear...

She had taught her son to hate.

          A shudder rampaged through her, the leader of a herd of horses always followed by that whooping cough. It was cold down here. So, so cold without a blanket and only rags to wear.

Colder without light- lying crumpled on the cold, unforgiving stone.

I love you.

They'd broken her.

They'd taken a scrawny Outskirts girl and they'd made her strong, only to snap her bones and kill her spirit.

My wild mare.

My tame, broken horse.

               She'd been a queen- an empress in everything but title. She'd been Lady Kimsura. She'd worn crowns of gold and crowns of flowers. Now she was nothing. Nothing but a pathetic, wretched creature who had surrendered the second they'd taken a knife to her.

Her kin would be next.

She'd doomed them. She'd betrayed them, given up all their names. All of them- except for one, but that wouldn't be enough to spare its owner. They would come for Khasan. Her husband knew what he was- had seen the symbol branding his neck.

Rebel rebel rebel Mighty Northern rebel

And he was not forgiving.

              Nor was he her husband. Not anymore. He'd all but disowned her when he'd thrown his wedding bead to the flames. That was a statement no one- not even her father and his beating rod could silence.

I can't let us stay with him, aavaa. Please, aavaa. I'm afraid.

Not for herself. No. The foolish girl they'd sentenced to die had never feared for her own life. Her husband- no- He had never laid a hand on her without her consent.

But her son...

Her son was the Hikarishi chosen one, and was property of the state. The shogunate. And he said it was dangerous to let him be kind, let him be tender.

He would destroy him.

And she would never see her son again.

               Cold tears pooled between her cheek and the stone, plastering both dirt and the long, tangled strands of her hair to her face. She wondered if they would send someone to hack it off to give better access to her neck. To make her seem even more of a disgrace. Even more of a villain.

She wondered if he-

         Weeping with cracked ribs was more painful than anything she'd ever experienced. But soon, soon...

She'd seen executions before- both Northern and Hikarishi.

Find warmth. May the Red River flow... Find warmth....Ever longer.

They were going to kill her.

Aluurchny khuvi zayaag zapechatana. Before the killer's fate was sealed...

Find warmth. Find-

And then she found it. For a moment she had light and she could see the dust swirling through the air, cascading down like a mild day's snowfall. 

And then the door slammed shut, and she remembered.

Mön khuvi tavilantaigaa irsen nasah. And with her grave came ours.

Her glimpse of light was gone.

❅