On Thin Ice (Prequel to Guild)

Chapter Seventeen: Claws of the Dragon

              Seeing her sucked the air from the room, the breath from his lungs, to the point that it almost made him lower his sword. Almost made him lower his guard. Seeing her there, wearing a symbol any warrior class child would recognize and despise, almost broke him. Almost shattered the little pieces of him he'd thought being with her had fixed.

Kill on sight...Or after rounds of torture.

That had been the policy for dealing with northern rebels since the Shiruba of old had fallen nearly a thousand years ago. But now... it wasn't so simple. Wasn't so easy.

Not when the movement that came to Dai's arm wasn't a slash or thrust or strike... but the overwhelming urge to drop his blade and walk away. To hide in his room and forget.

Gods and spirits, he wished he could forget.

Wished he could scrape away the image of her here burned into his mind. Wished that the steeling came easier, faster. Came before horror gripped his chest, opened his mouth and let him whisper, "No," too quietly for anyone but himself to hear.

No.

A word full of pain- too much weakness for a shogun to show to anyone. Even his beloved wife-to-be.

So he held his blade still and hardened his heart. "I must be an extremely unlikable person," he said, more icily than anything the northerner had ever known, "to get betrayed twice in one night."

The face she made after that had him wondering if he'd stabbed her. If he'd moved forward just a bit and accidentally driven his sword through her neck. He let up just a bit. "I've long wondered about the things you chose to leave out of your letters."

"It's...It's not what it looks like."

But it was. Her words told Dai everything he needed to know. She knew what it looked like. "Which tells me it is," he breathed.

Tears in her eyes as she shook her head, as she begged him to stop. To listen.

But they were past that.

He was far, far past that.

Hands made fists.

Breaths came harshly, strangely, loudly.

The entirety of him ached.

"How could you?" he whispered.

"Dai."

"HOW COULD YOU!? Do I- do we mean nothing to you?"

"Dai, no. No. It's not-"

"TELL ME THEN, WHAT IS IT?" he demanded- shouted much too loudly for this time of night. But he didn't care. He cared about nothing. "WHAT SILLY, ELABORATE LIE CAN YOU SPIN TO POSSIBLY JUSTIFY YOU... You... being one of them." The band at his wrist grew tight.

You lying about this, he continued in his mind. About everything.

Brown eyes shone as she held out her hand. As she reached out for him, forcing him to jerk away. He had to keep his sense. He couldn't melt- he couldn't.

Not for liars and traitors and enemies.

"I'm not one of them," she said, her voice soft as a flowing stream, clear... Able to obliterate rocks over time. Her tears possessed the same quality. Dai bit down on his gums until he bled. Did the same damage to his palms with his nails. "I'm trying to stop them."

His stare snapped to that symbol. That damning, spirits-scorned mark some wore like a general wore his sword.

"I stopped when I met you. When I fell in love with you and I saw them for what they really are. They're getting bolder, miizhair. No longer are they content to just aid the Isuto radicals in the east. Their plans for Hikarishi grow violent and cruel. And I think I can stop them ...I think I can stop them because they trust me, miizhair. They still love their princess."