do you hear my screams?

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we were now in texas. this was the 6th to last show we had before magcon is over. carter and i are going strong. there were minor bumps but they made us stronger. i love him and he loves me.

  carter and i were walking the halls of the hotel. we were just fooling around. we discovered and gym so we went in and exercised. i mean were teenagers we need the exercise.

"carter!" i shout as carter made the tredmil go really fast while i was on it. i slowed it down and swatted his hand.  when i got off we went to the lobby and ran out the door. we walked until our feet hurt. carter threw me on his back and i giggled.

"i love you. you know that right." i put my head in his neck.

"i love you too babe." he told me. "your breath on my neck tickles." he laughed.

"oh well. you will have to deal with it." i told him as he walked into a mcdonalds.

"can i have a krabby patty with extra cheese. if you forget the cheese ill call up sponge bob to whoop your ass with bubbles."i told the guy when we got to the front. he looked at me wierd before bursting into laughter.

"sorry the krusty krab is down the road babe." i could imagine the glare that carter was giving him. "is there anything i can actually get you?"

"yeah a big mac and large fries with a sprite!" carter ordered and the guy came with are food 5 minutes later. i let carter pay because i didnt want to argue. i grabbed the receipt that he scriibled his number on and put it in my pocket to piss off carter.

i slid into the booth and carter came in beside me. i felt a hand slide into my back pocket. he took his hand out and threw the paper to the floor.  i laughed and ate my food. when we finished we left for the hotel.

"is anyone here?" carter yelled through the hotel room. no answer. i looked to my left  to find a paper taped to the t.v.

dear love birdss,

  we went mini golfing. be back by 8. have fun ;).

  love, cam, matt and others.

i laughed at the note and checked the time. 7:45. i felt lips on my neck and turnned around. carter connected our lips. i pulled back. 

"carter im not ready." i knew what he wanted. i cant give him that yet.

"well your gonna have to get ready or ill find someone who is!" he told me. i looked at him shocked. he grabbed my face and kissed me roughly. i pushhed him away.

"then you will have to find someone who is ready." i pushed past him. i grabbed the door handle but i was picked up.

"no i want you. and im not waiting." he threw me on the bed and crawled on top of me. he pinned my arms down and attached are lips. i screamed but it was muffled by his lips. he pulled off my shirt with one hand and the other kept my hands pinned. he unattached his lips from mine and i let out a scream. he slapped me lightly to tell me to shut up.

"shut up. this is gonna happen wether you like it or not." he told me. i screamed again as he tore off his shirt and my  pants. he unzipped his and brought out his friend. he pushed my under wear aside and inserted himself in me roughly. i let out a sob. i closed my eyes tightly hoping I would wake up and it would have been a night mare.

   i felt a weight being lifted off of me. the weight was releived from my wrist and i moved my arms to my legs. i curled up into a ball. i felt a hand on my arm and flinched.  kept my head behind my hair.

"carly its okay. im here." matthews voice soothed. i peeked threw my hair as he wrapped his arms around me. i scuried away from him.

  i trusted him. i loved him. and he....

the door burst open and vic ran in. he kneeled beside me and moved my hair out of my face. i let out a wimper and wrapped my arms around him. i felt like i could trust him. he was older. that made me feel safe.

"you will be okay." he ran his hand threw my hair. i let out a sob knowing that it wouldnt.

" how will i be okay. nothing will be the same. victor im scared of my friends!" my voice broke on my last sentence. he  rocked me back and forth.

"shhh. it will sort itself out. you will be okay." he assured. i spent the rest of the night curled into vic's chest and sobbing.

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i didnt want to write it but i did. it was a sad twist. this will be easier to write now.

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