My Life

2

Today I've been ill as i always seem to be nowadays, and I'm more stressed than I've ever been in my life. Some guy asked me out last Saturday so its not even been a week but he already told me something he's never told anyone before. He also dropped the 'Love' word twice and basically guilted me into dating him, apparently he's liked me for years and never been able to tell me and because I'm a sensitive bitch i fell for it and said yes. I told him we should keep it quiet so we barely told ppl yet but i hate it already. He's to nice to me, cares waayyy more than i do and not to mention i dont even like him. Nor do most people because he pretends to be a dick when he's not really.

You know what tops everything? I like someone else. He has a girlfriend of 10 months but they're not going so well so I'm just begging for them to end so I can go out with him. Were already so close he may as well be my boyfriend already. Things are so easy with him but with my new boyfriend, I'll call him Jason, its just awkward as fuck. But i cant break up with him, he's so sweet and into me, not to mention my first proper boyfriend.

Im also getting really close with Jacob which is shit because he freind zoned my best freind Sasha really bad not to mention i used to like him too, dont want to be catching more feelings right now. Its hard with him because we talk so sexually together. Its so bad on Sasha as well because my 'sister' is also flirting with Jacob and is also in an argument with a really close freind of ours, Laura, and i keep ruining it. Its all because of some drunk accident with Alex, Laura's boyfriend, who also happens to be the first person i kissed. And guess what, I used to like him. To be honest I've liked every boy in the area by now and i still have no hope of real love.

Ivy 24/1/18