Hold Me (Reddie)

Eddie Kaspbrak's First Kiss

It took Eddie a few seconds to realize what Richie had said. Maybe Eddie was dreaming, or going crazy, or Richie was pulling an awfully mean joke on him. Eddie couldn't tell. He didn't understand what the fuck his friend had intended with the comment. "Richie what the fuck do you mean?"

"True, I've never kissed a boy, but you can't know if you like it unless you try it, right?"

Eddie's heart lit up a little bit. Or maybe a lot. "Is that your philosophy?"

"Yeah, that's my new philosophy. It's a good one, isn't it? And there's no way it's just an excuse to kiss you. No way whatsoever. I just want to try something new, that's all." Richie was smiling, playing with his fingers, looking out the window at the fresh set of snow from the night before. It was a beautiful sight, but in no way was Eddie paying attention. He was just trying to see if Richie actually wanted to kiss him. If Richie cared enough at all.

"I wouldn't be opposed to it," Eddie told his friend.

"Of course not, idiot. Who would be?" Richie started to laugh, but then stopped. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, his lip quivering. "God I'm fucking nervous. We should have a contract, you know? Never tell anyone sorta thing? One quick kiss. To see. And if it goes bad be forget and move on and go back to the stupid friendship we have now."

"Just kiss me already!"

Richie leaned forward, his lips pursed, his eyes closed, and kissed Eddie right on the lips. It was an odd feeling to say the least. Richie's lips were a tiny bit slobbery, and the impact was awkward at first. But oddly Eddie liked it. He liked it when Richie placed one hand on Ed's shoulder and the other on his side. He loved it when he realized he was kissing Richie Tozier. The most amazing and wonderful kid in all of Derry. The kiss didn't last very long, only about five seconds, but it was one of those things that would be in Eddie's memory forever. A moment he'd always remember. It was awkward and new but he loved every second of it. And when it was over, he couldn't help but smile.

"So what do you think?" Eddie asked.

"I'm going to sound crazy but for some reason that felt so much more natural than I had anticipated."

"I know what you mean."

————

It was Richie's idea to go to Stan's after what had happened. He was clearly nervous, clearly shaken, told by the fact that he wasn't joking as often as he normally would be. But he was also a bit brighter, and kept giving Eddie this weird look. He'd look at Eddie, smile a huge smile, hesitate and realize he's smiling, and then shake his head and look away. Each time he did it Eddie laughed, even though he knew that look was unintentional. He still loved that look. The look. Richie was clearly nervous though, as when the two were on Stan's doorstep he said: "remember Eds, act natural."

"Of course. Natural. Nat-ur-ahl. It'll be cool." Stan the Man would never suspect a thing. Of course, Eddie was a bad liar, but there was no reason for anyone to ever suspect that Richie kissed him. By the window sill. He smiled again like a little kid being handed an ice cream cone.

"That's not natural, you buffoon!" Richie yelled, right as he extended his hand and rang Stan's doorbell. There was no turning back now.

"You two?" Stan whined when he saw them. "Do you have to be here? You should've called first."

"Eddie doesn't believe in telephones, he thinks they're a myth."

"Fine, you can come in. But leave your shoes at the doorway I'm not your maid." The three of them walked up to Stan's bedroom, Eddie's least favorite place to hang out. It was simply boring. Stan's father didn't believe in fun. But he believed in books, work, and boring polo shirts. That kind of stuff Mr. Uris was a-okay with.

"I'm sorry about coming uninvited, but we were bored as hell," Eddie felt like justifying himself by saying.

"It's cool. I assumed you tried Bill first, but he was busy with Beverly like he'll be all week." Stan sat on his bed and gestured for his friends to do the same. "Once again, we've lost Bill to the mysterious powers of womankind."

"Remember fourth grade? He'd draw little hearts on his homework and write Susie Watson's name on them," Richie giggled. And then in his Bill Denbrough the Stutterer voice, he said, "oh Su-Susie, I love you! I l-love your perfect black huh-hair, and your braces, and the way you smuh-smuh-smell! I think you're the most gorgeous thing under the s-sun!" As soon as Richie was done his impression he faked a bow and smiled, then winked at Eddie. Eddie felt his heart drop.

"Leave him alone," Stan said. "Bill's just happy he doesn't have to compete for her anymore."

Eddie sometimes wished Ben never left. Or a lot more than sometimes. Ben was great. He was sensible, he was kind, and he would've never made a decision without considering how everybody else felt about it. He was an amazing friend. "Let's not talk about girls anymore for crying out loud. We're thirteen and we have a week to do whatever the fuck we want!"

"I call Janice," Richie laughed, then high-fived Stan.

"Serious. We can do whatever we want so we seriously shouldn't be sitting around on our asses talking about Bill getting a crush."

"I'm sure Billy Willy and Bevvy Wevvy are already past third base," Richie giggled once more. That was it. Eddie was done.

"Shut up, Richie! Just shut the hell up!"