Sincerely Yourz

Cautiously Optimistic

Zuri

Darrien Rachel Usa was a smooth-talking woman. In the time that I've knew her, that much was made abundantly clear. And she's cocky. But there was so much more to her. I could tell she was used to getting her way but there was a level of genuineness to her that I couldn't get enough of.

And she made me laugh.

I swear she got a kick out of drowning me in cheesy pick-up lines. It was beyond cute. And she broke them out any time she sensed I needed to feel pretty or smile. She just made my heart skip with a look and then she said something sweet and I'd forget that I was supposed to be moving slowly.

I didn't want to rush anything with her. Players will play, and I wasn't trying to get caught up in that type of mess. But Dru just made me excited and feel like a girl with her first relationship. I got butterflies in my stomach and a smile became permanently affixed to my face when I was around her or texting her or even just thinking about her.

And everyone noticed.

Miranda saw us out and blabbed about it to Kai before I had a chance. She apologized profusely but honestly, I was okay with it because it gave me a chance to talk about her. I'm pretty sure Kai hated that he even brought it up.

It felt like I'd been holding in so much and needed to get it all out at once. And it felt good.

Being the superstar best friend and father, he began getting the kids more often on the weekends and even keeping them in the afternoons during the week so that I could see Dru. He said he was simply returning the favor since I'd made it so easy for him to date Randy.

In all fairness, they started dating when the twins were a month old. I wasn't working and, even though we lived together, I had help from his parents and Ace. But I appreciated it. He knew how important it was to build a solid foundation and he was making that so easy for me.

Like I said before, Kai Carter was a blessing.

But no matter how much he stepped up, I didn't want to just abandon my babies in pursuit of a relationship. So, I made sure to be present with them in the evenings and even have family time with them on the weekends. Dru was more than understanding which just made me like her even more.

But I couldn't help wanting to proceed with caution. We got along great and it was amazing but that's not reality. Life doesn't work like that. We hadn't had a major blowout yet, so I didn't know the other side of her. Our arguments were stupid and lasted a day or two at the most.

I didn't want a fairytale; I wanted something real. And Dru was filled with opinions and smart-ass comments. So maybe we would get to the real part. I didn't want to rush away the little new relationship honeymoon phase but, at the same time, I didn't want to build a house in the sand.

I wanted a foundation I could count on. And she was saying all the right things. And doing all the right things too.

We'd been official for two months, and along with all the great things about Dru, I learned that she's guarded. I'm cautious but she's guarded so that she can protect herself from the world.

I think that's a part of the reason she was so understanding when I told her I wanted to just have some family time with the kids. She just seemed comfortable walking away. I didn't want to be needy but damn, could she at least pretend like sacrificing time with me was hard.

Kai felt I was just looking for problems. He kept reminding me that our relationship was still new, and she was probably just as unsure about stuff as I was. I hoped he was right. I became quite addicted to the head rush.