Sincerely Yourz

No Time Like the Present

Dru

I was home as had become the usual since Zuri and I entered the whole in-between relationship thing. I looked around at my condo. There were empty Chinese takeout containers sitting on my coffee table as Tara and I bummed out on the couch with Netflix.

I was happy that she gave me the opportunity to prove myself, but I worried that it was a waste of time. There was distance between us. I knew it was my fault, but sometimes it felt like we weren't making any progress. The only reason I kept going was because there were a few moments that it felt like she was trying too.

Tara listened to me try and make sense of what I was going through. She had been instrumental in encouraging me. It had been a long time since I'd cared so much about a woman. But I didn't just care about Zuri, I was in love with her and I was dying by degrees not being with her.

"T, every woman I ever met was too easy to forget. Only exception to that is you, who became my best friend, and Zuri. I hate this," I complained.

"I know babe and you two will figure it out. You have a connection that even she has said is special. Unless you were lying to me and exaggerating the story to boost your ego," she joked.

I gave her a half-smile.

"What if it's not special enough? What if I'm not enough for her to give me another chance?"

The uncertainty in our relationship had me questioning things on a regular basis. On days like today when we hadn't spoken at all I worried that we were going in the wrong direction. It was stupid because I knew we'd probably talk tomorrow and I'd feel like we were moving in the right direction.

"Nonsense, you're Darrien Usa, and that means something. You get what you want out of life because you don't settle," Tara said confidently.

"I don't know this time Tara. I just don't know," I doubted.

"I know I give you shit about your lifestyle, but it makes sense. You were unwilling to settle for anything less than Zuri. So, if you can put up with me you can definitely keep fighting for the girl that made the wait worthwhile," she said positively.

I tried to consider what she said as I looked around. My house was as messy as I felt inside. More empty takeout containers littered the kitchen table, blankets were everywhere, and I knew my room was a mess too. Every day I just came home and stepped into sweats.

My bed was unmade, and dirty laundry was everywhere. I was a mess inside and out. When I was about to open my mouth to say as much my phone dinged. I knew it wasn't a fling because I'd blocked them all. Tara was usually the only person blowing up my phone.

As soon as I saw Zuri's name on my screen I felt my mood lift. Three words had never felt so good to read.

Zuri: Are you busy?

Me: No. Want to talk?

Zuri: Can I come over?

Me: Absolutely. I'd love to see you.

Zuri: I'm coming from out of town but I'll be there in about an hour.

Me: Please. I'll see you soon. Drive safe.

Zuri: I will.

When I looked up Tara was staring at me. I could feel the smile on my face but then I began to panic. My place was a mess.

"What's going on D?"

I'd jumped up and began attempting to stuff the takeout containers into the overflowing trash can in the pantry closet. I was so frantic I kept dropping things and making the mess worse. Tara followed behind me confused at my sudden urgency.