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Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The morning light danced over Harry’s eyes, causing him to frustratingly sigh. He hadn’t had much sleep, whenever he closed his eyes, he would see her beautiful brown eyes and dark hair, the smile he loved so much but never saw enough of.

There was a reason why Harry was the way he was, going out with different girls, it was to mask the pain, hoping that one day he will be able to get over her. But it was physically impossible for him to do, and this girl reminded him so much of her.

It had been three years since her death, but he was still unable to get over her, even though she never was really his in the first place. Sometimes he like to imagine that she was still alive and happy, the way her smile would light up the room and her laugh (which he never heard enough of) would make him love her more each day, which he didn’t think was possible but she made it possible and she didn't even realise.

The only person to keep him sane after her death was Liam. Liam was the only person who knew the full story, her parents oblivious to his feelings for her. Liam was the only person who would take the time to listen, the only one Harry could trust.

Liam knocked on the younger boy’s door gently, opening it slightly to peek inside, tearing Harry from his thoughts.

“Harry? Are you ok?” He asks gently. Harry let out a frustrated sigh, sitting up in bed and thanking God it was a Saturday because there was no school, not like he went much anyway, but still.

“I am going to be out for a couple hours, I was just wandering if you wanted anything?” Liam asks, making his way to sit on the curly fella’s bed. Harry shook his head, nothing coming off the top of his head that he needed.

“Alright, well I’ll be back later, call me if you need anything.” Liam said once more before exiting his best friend’s room.

***

Harry hadn’t done much all day beside sit around and watch whatever was on TV. Emily hadn’t come out of her room at all, and he wondered if she didn’t like him, which would be understandable considering how bad he is at making first impressions. He stands up from the couch, making his way her room before knocking lightly. But he didn’t get any reply so he leaned his ear against her door, unable to hear a single sound.

But in his quiet surroundings, Harry he could hear quiet sobs coming from the bathroom. He paused at the bathroom door, knocking gently first.

“Y-yes?” Emily’s voice was shaking, as if she was trying to mask the fact that she was crying.

“Um, hey, are you okay?” he asked gently.

He hears her sniff before answering. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” Her assurance only made him worry more, memories flooding back when she would say that.

He opened the door quickly and his eyes went wide to the girl that lay in front of him. Her wrists were bleeding badly and her face stained with never ending tears, only making Harry want to cry, he had seen this before, and seeing it again only brought back when he had found her like this. He tried to walk over to her but she stopped him.

“Please just leave me alone, I deserve the pain. I deserve this; it’s all of my fault.”   

“Emily, what’s your fault? Why would you deserve this?”

“I should have died, not her, it’s my fault.”

Harry looked down at the cuts, one in particular looking a little too deep.

“Emily, I need to take you to the hospital, you’re losing too much blood.”

“No! I don’t want to live, please, please let me die. I don’t deserve to live! Please!” she begged, shuffling away from him when he tried to help her. She couldn’t stand the thought of her father hating her; the guilt itself was killing her.

*Earlier today*

The dream wouldn’t go away, every time she closed her eyes, she would see her father scowling at her, saying the words she never wanted to hear.

“You should have died, not my darling Jessica. I never want to see you again.”

Her father’s ‘words’ echoed throughout her head and that’s all she needed to feel small and unwanted. She felt as if it wasn’t just a dream, but was actually what he had said, a memory she had that didn’t actually exist.

Liam had told her that he would be gone for a couple hours, and that he would be back soon, meaning that she had a few hours to finally end all of the suffering and pain. She knew he would stop her, and she didn’t know why. She felt like a burden to Liam, and who wants a burden in their life?

That’s all Emily was; a burden, one that would make everyone’s life better if she ceased to exist. Emily opened her door quietly, peaking to see if anyone would catch her. She heard the television on in the lounge room, but she didn’t dare look, in case Harry would catch her.

She sneakily walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She looked into the cabinet for any sharp object but she wasn’t able to find one in there, so she looked in the small bench and found a men’s razor.

She turned on the tap, the sound of the rushing water calming her slightly and she closes her eyes, her father’s angry face immediately clouding her thoughts.

“You should have died!”

She couldn’t take it anymore so she took the razor, piercing her skin until she drew blood, the red substance oozing out. But the pain wasn’t enough to divert the image of her father from her head, and so she did it again and again and again, but the image of her father was still there and tears stained her face once again.

 She did it once more, before hearing a knock on the bathroom door, making her panic.

“Y-yes?” she asks in a shaky voice, hoping he can’t hear the pain in her voice.

“Um, hey, are you ok?” the voice was muffled because of the door, but still she was able to make out that it was Liam’s roommate. She tried to stop herself from crying but it was no use.

“I am fine. Don’t worry about me.”

But he doesn’t listen and barges into the small bathroom, his eyes widening in shock. He tried to come closer to help her, but she didn’t want his help.

“Please just leave me alone, I deserve the pain. I deserve this; it’s all of my fault.”   

“Emily, what’s your fault? Why would you deserve this?”

“I should have died, not her, it’s my fault.”

Harry looked down at the cuts, one in particular looking a little too deep.

“Emily, I need to take you to the hospital, you’re losing too much blood.”

“No! I don’t want to live, please, please let me die. I don’t deserve to live! Please!” she begged, shuffling away from him when he tried to help her. Harry could tell that she was delusional, but he still had to help her.

Emily was feeling extremely light headed, her breathing slowing down as she tried to keep her eyes open. She felt large and muscled arms grab her, but she couldn’t see anything now, only the darkness before her father appeared. 

“Good, this is how it should be.”

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