Drowning

Chapter 7

She wants to be anywhere but here. She doesn’t want to be sitting on what she suspects to be a comfortable leather couch (but really it was hurting her back), in a room with someone who introduced himself as “Dr Malik, but you can call me Zayn” with a sincere smile, big brown eyes shielded by big black glasses and looks way too young to be called a doctor, but then again how would she know? She wasn’t even able to finish the 8th grade. It’s not that she doesn’t like him, it’s just that she doesn’t – she can’t talk, even if she wants to, she just can’t.

“You know Emily,” he says after another moment of silence, the only sound to be the clock tick, tick, ticking away, patronizing her and she can’t stand it. “It’s okay to be scared, we all are. But, the best way to get over your fears is to talk about them, let someone else help you, and that’s what I am here for,”

Emily nods her head, but she doesn’t speak, she can’t. She feels as if she has been cornered in a small room, her breathing unstable, the walls closing in on her. She doesn’t want to suffocate, but it's inevitable, isn't it? She wants an escape but she just can’t. The walls are closing on her she just can’t, okay?

“Your friend Liam,” she smiles at the mention of his name, the one person who ever shown her some compassion, his name alone able to bring her out of that small corner, even if it’s only for a few moments. “He’s a good friend of mine, we go way back,” he pauses, his smile bright and happy as he talks about his friend. Emily couldn't blame him, Liam was a beautiful person, really.“You’ve been living with him, yes?” Emily only nods her head, only brightening the smile on the young doctor’s face. “He told me that you like to paint? Is that correct?”

Her face instantly falls because no one is supposed to know about that. She shakes her head quickly, her eyes widening and the older man writes something down the notepad that has sat on his desk empty for the duration of their meeting, which has been how long? Emily doesn’t even remember.

“Emily, it’s good that you liken to paint, it’s a great form of expression,” the young doctor’s lips curve up, the gentle smile meeting his eyes. “I enjoy art m’self, but I prefer more of the street art, but painting is cool,”

Emily doesn’t answer, because she doesn’t want to talk about this.

“Do you want to tell me what you paint?” he asks, the small smile growing a little. And she is now back in the corner of the small room, her past written on the walls that are slowly, torturously closing in on her again and she can’t breathe.

“Emily?” he calls, but she doesn’t even look up at him, too busy clutching her chest and falling to the floor, trying to steady her breaths but it’s too hard and she doesn’t know how to breath anymore, the walls are too close to comfort.

Zayn, being the professional doctor that he is, even if he is only 21, he knows what he is doing and he knows that she is having a panic attack and he is quick by her side, trying to get through to her and calm her down.

“Emily? Emily, love I need you to breathe,” but it does nothing to soothe the poor girl and she is now trembling. But he knows exactly what she needs.

“Liam!” he calls, knowing that his friend will be waiting on the chairs. And just like he expected, Liam comes bursting into the room moments later, looking down at Emily before wrapping her in his arms, rocking her back and forth on the floor, shushing her until she calms down.

Liam breathes out a sigh of relief when she finally calms down in his arms, her hand clutching at his t-shirt, staring up at him with big, terrified brown eyes.

“Are you alright, love?” he whispers, pushing a stray piece of hair away from her face. She responds by hugging him tight, her face nuzzling into the side of his neck as he holds her close.

Emily doesn’t let go of Liam, holds on to him tightly as he talks with Zayn, only hearing parts of the conversation because she is too concentrated on the familiarity that is Liam. Somehow, he was able to save her from The Corner, pulled her away at the very last second.

“Has this happened before?” she can hear Zayn asks.

“Yeah, but it has never been as bad as this one, unless you count-,” Liam cuts himself off.

“I am afraid that she might be suffering with a panic disorder. Considering what you have told me, I believe that these attacks occur when something reminds her of her past, it triggers the panic attacks, common mong people with PDS. The only reason she was able to calm down was because she found something that she familiarises with, which in this case is you. I suggest that she visits me three times a week instead of once, and that you come with her, just in case she has another attack during our sessions.”

Emily doesn’t hear him answer, too exhausted to even keep her eyes open.

-&-

Liam knew that he could never leave her, not until she was fully better, and he knew that that won’t be any time soon. But he didn’t mind, he just wanted her to be better, he wanted to see her smile and laugh, to enjoy life, that’s all that really mattered to him at this point in time. He had seen her too many times at her worst, and he wanted to prevent anything happening to her again. He had vowed to himself in her small house on the small couch that he would help her, and he wasn't breaking that promise anytime soon.

That’s why he went to Zayn, because no matter others saying that he’s far too young, too inexperienced, Liam knew that Zayn was perfect. Not only was he a genius (he had finished college a year earlier) but Liam has known Zayn for a very long time, and he knows that Zayn is more laid back, unlike a lot of other psychiatrists, who were always too formal, something Emily didn't need, it would only make her feel more trapped, and that is the last thing that Liam wants.

“Li?” Harry’s soft call from Emily’s bedroom door interrupts him from his thoughts to look up from Emily’s sleeping figure as he runs his hands through her hair to look at the younger fellow.

“I made dinner if you want some?”

Liam nods his head at Harry, carefully leaving her bed and stopping at her door to look back at Emily.

“Li?”

“Mmm?”

“You really like her, don’t you?”

Liam watches as she stirs in her sleep and he smiles, his eyes not leaving Emily.

“Yeah, I really do.”

Sorry it took so long, hope you like it though :) Votes and comments would really be appreciated.

And props to @EeveeCaughtMe for the beautiful cover for both this story and I wish... You are absolutely amazing in every shape and form :) <3