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Chapter 2

07:32pm
The couch had been worn down, since it had been brought when i was a toddler. It's deep red fabric had discoloured To The Point Where Janet Had Brought identical throws to cover the discolouring and a spring had began to push through the fabric inflicting pain on anyway that was unlucky enough to sit there. The hard wood flooring is cold under my bear feet walking in to the kitchen. I feel my heart pounding against my chest threatening to brake through my rib cage. Janet sits in the same place she was when i left the house this morning. I wonder if she had even moved. This morning when I left she was a few pages in and now she had gotten at least halfway through the book. Standing up on my tiptoe i try to get a better look of the cover but it's no use, i can not see.
"Ding dong" the bell rings and the feeling of fear over powers me. I heads towards the door wiping my hands over my Jean legs to remove the sweat. The bell rings for a second time giving me a nauseas feeling in the pit of my stomach. opening the door, Ella jumps at me immediately wrapping her arms around my tender neck forcing me to wrap my arms around her waste so that she didn't snap my neck.
"Hey, how was your day" she says almost singing pressing her lips against mine before i could reply.
She pulls back and the light in the hallways glistening in her inviting blue eyes almost mimmicing my own. Last year we had gotten a comment that offended Ella no not just offended her infuriated her. One of the new students at college had asked if we were siblings, it really did seem to hit a raw nerve with Ella.
"Okay, did you know an elephant becomes sexually maturity from the age of eight and thirteen" i inform her attempting to lighten the mood and it seems to work.
"How was your day" i asks her in return.
"Oh my God, so tilly total flipped out becuase becuase abby snapped a photo of her and wait it, smashed the camra off the floor, i was like omg youtlr doing a photography cours like what are doing, were supposed to take phtots of each other" she says. I drift away in to a world of my own thinking about what and how to say what i had to say. Ella is still talking about her day slowly i focus's back on her voice.
"And then I went home and now I'm here" she finishes, i smile at her but she looks away from me and at the crackling log burning fire.
"Hey Ella" i say trying my hardest not to look her in the eye.
"Yes baby" she says tilting her head to the left, just now realizing that she was chewing gum.
pausesing with my mouth gaping open wide with no word comeing out.
"Do you want a drink" i ask with a stutter and start towards the kitchen. swinging open the refrigerator door i grab a carton of juice and poors it in to two glasses from the drying rack. My hands begin to shake, i rest the carton on the kitchen counter and take several deep breaths and goes back to pouring the drinks.
I take my time heading back in to the loung. Ella shouts through to me wondering what was taking me so long i walk back into the loung dragging my feet, she could tell that something was wrong the look in her eyes was almost worried mixed with a hint of confusion. Ella is standing in front of the fire place, looking at the framed photos that sit on top of the mental piece. That was the thing about Ella she always admired how much me and my mother loved each other. Cole my older brother had moved out when i was just thirteen years old and ever since then it had just been me and Janet. Cole still tried to visit as often as he could but living in Scotland he didn't really have time to get all the way down to london when ever he felt like he wanted to pop in for a cup of tea.
"Whats wrong sam" she's Gasps looking at my tremaring hand plecing the two glasses on too coasters the orange liquid escaping over the rims of the glasses
"Ella, I kind of need to tell you something but I just want to say that I'm sorry before I tell you" I croaks
"Oh my god, your braking up with me aren't you" she gasps i see and hear the tears coming in to her eyes.
"No,No,No, Ella baby, I love and I always Will, I could never brake up with you"my voice brakes feeling guilty. I never ment for her to think i would end things with her not for no reason.
I grab her hands and lead her over to the sofa and she sits down. Taking in a deep breath i start my confession.
"I'm leaving town for a few week, kie asked me to go to new york and spendi g christmas with him and his family and i know you really wanted to spend Christmas together this year and I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner" i say all in one long heart crushing breath feeling the pressure of my lies leave my shoulders. When i finally looks up at ella's face after a single awkward moment.
Her lips curled up to her ears, looking amused.
"Oh, that's okay babe, thank you for telling me it means alot and I know that you haven't seen him in nearly a year and it will be nice for you to catch up" she says sounding  a little to happy with his confection.
"Oh my God, So when do you leave" she grins.
"Ten days"
"Oh my God, What, your going to miss our anniversary, Sam how could do this me" she screams during the attention of janet who pops her head around the door frame in excitement, she loved drama in her books as well as in real life. I lean backwards away from Ella this wasn't going to end well and i knew it. I dont think i had ever seen her this angry,not once in three years.
"So I see you told her then" Janet says from the door way balancing on one foot, her accent more common then usual i didn't know if she was putting it on or if she had just developed it over time. Ella glears over at my mother scowling through slit eyes. My stomach feels as if it had been punched pushing the wind out of hus lungs.
"Ella im sorry" i apolgies looking down deep into her eyes a single tear rolling down her face only makes the guilt pile on.
I turn back to face my mother but find that she had retreated back in to the safety of her book. Thanks mom I really could of used a hand here.
"You know What, it's fine, I don't even care" she clearly did care shoving her earphones in to her ears and loading up the youtube app on her phone.
09:12pm
I had been sat in silence on the sofa for almost an hour with Ella. We were a nine out of ten on the awkward scale. I see her face lighten up as she presses on Bradley o'conors face. Ella's favourite youtuber.
Oh my god look at him she would say how amazing is he she would say. Personally he didn't see the point Bradley o'conor was an arigent, snotty nose arse hole who didn't care about anything but is own fame. Ella upsession was stupid he was gay but that didn't make a difference she was still convinced that one day he would come and sweep her off of her feet.  Just thinking about him make me grind my teeth together and stiffen up. Ella must of felt my limbs stiffen up becuase she pauses the video and takes out her ear phones.
"What is your problem, what has he ever done against you" she snaps, her cheeks growing red in frustrations.
"He's a nice person and he's a lot fucking better then you" she adds after he doesnt reply.
I clench my fists tight until my nails brake the surface of my soft skin. allowing small droplets of blood so seep through my fingers.
"My problem, what the fuck is your problem, I don't like him, no I fucking hate the idiot and there is no need for you to attack me for expressing my own opinion" i shout raising to my feet to walk away before i ends up saying something that i will regret.
"Screw you, I'm leaving" she yells snatching her coat from the couch next to her letting it swing through the air, she turns on her heels and her hair glides through the air as elligent as smoke drifting up away from a cigarette.
"Am I going to see you tomorrow" i shout after her hoping my voice didnt sound so aggressive. She stops before leaving the front door and turns to face me.
"I will see you at college, and just at college" she snaps the rage in her eyes like the brightest fires of hell.
"I love you" i shout but the door slams shut before she can say it back, if she wanted to say it back.
Tuesday 28th November
Nine days until new york
My alarm rings out at around seven thirty Am, my first lesson started at ten and if i was honest i was not looking forward to it my stomach is in nots and my palms are sweaty.
I throw back my cotten sheets and lay there for a moment just starting up at the ceiling memorizing every nook and every cranny before finally decideing to role out of bed and goes to the bathroom.
For a grown up my mother was not a very tidy person, empty toothpaste and toilet roles tubes were spreed over the side and a towel has been just left on the floor to smell. If it wasn't for me cleaning up after her the house would be a wreck. I hangs the still damp towel on the back of the door and brushes my teeth making sure to get the Brussels into every crevis. Scooping up the empty tubes i start down the stairs in only my red striped black underwear to discard of the tubes. stumbleing  through the loung and in to the kitchen dragging my heavy feet behind him as i do so.
"Mom" i gasps dropping the empty toothpaste and toilet role tubes to the ground so that i could cover my crotch. Janet is standing in the dinning room dressed in her dark blue hospital scrubs with a mug of coffee in her hand her long finger nails wrapping around the ceramic. Her long dark hair tied back into a pony tail which seemed complete different from her usual curls trapped down over her shoulders.
I look down at his bare body realizing that i was still over exposed, it wasn't right for a mother to see her eighteen year old sons chizaled half naked body. I look at her and shake my head wondering where my reply is.
"Sorry sweetie, they asked me to cover for Joan this morning" my mother was a nurse at London bridge hostpital, it wasn't a very big hospital but it was a private hostpital with a gym and everything, you get what you pay for. Speaking of which the pay was not bad either it paid enough for them to live in there four bedroom house even though only two of them where occupied at the momment. I give her a nod and go to get ready for college.
I slip in to a pair of black skinny jeans that are a size to big for my skinny legs and pull on a pale green t-shirt. pleased that the two items go together in a strange way but it didn't matter i cover my t-shirt up with a black jumper. Quick and simpal just the way i likeed it. Once ready i run back down stairs to eat breakfast jumping over the squeaky step at the bottom of the stairs. You sound like a parade of elephants janet would normally say but i would always correct her by saying somthing like its illigal to keep elephants in the circus and then they would have a full discussion about animal cruelty well it was more of a one sided discussion me being the more and she being the less.
"So what's for breakfast then Seen as your up so early" i ask her in the most adorable voice i can muster.
"Sorry kiddo have to leave, just grab yourself a bowl of cerial" she says reaching through the serving wind to pick up her keys from the kitchen counter. Following her to the door and watch as she climbs inside of her four wheel drive.
"Love you" i call out, she put up her hand and waves good bye, that was the thing with his mother she never told anyone she loved them, not since my farther had ran off with another woman when I was younger and now all I had was card for my birthdays and Christmas containing some cash.

09:30 AM
I left home without eating breakfast, honestly it just wasn't my thing. That was another thing that stoped once my farther left, breakfast, no more of the most important meal of the day instead it was usually a quick coffee from the college café.
"Vanilla spiced latte please" i say to the woman behind the counter her dark red hair tied up in a hair net to keep it out of her face her appron was tied at the front, i watch her as she prepares my order, her thin frame and droopy eyes. I try to picture her home life but something about her rigged appearance made me think that she doesn't have much of one. I hand over the two pound seventy before she gives me the price and hands over the latte. Giveing her a smile i walk away.
In the corner of the café sits Josie underneath a large framed painting by one of the student. Josie is sat alone sipping some kind of iced drink through a straw. Typing away at her top of the range smart phone without a care in the world.
"Hey" she doesn't look up so i take a seat opposite her so that i have a full view of the painting, it's hard to make out but it looks like some sort of occtupus splitting a heart down the middle while very small people struggle to push it back together.
"Hey have you seen ella" i ask this time she looks up from her phone with a surprised look on her face.
"Oh hi, I didn't realize it was you Sorry, erm I think she went to class early, she's working on a Bradley O'Connor price for her winter project" Josie informs me.
"Oh" i say rolling my eyes to the back of my head which makes Josie laugh. She must of heard the frustration in my voice.
"Don't worry, I don't know why she is so hooked on him either, he's a self upsorbed year that needs to get his morals on track, but don't tell Ella I said that"
We both burst out laughing simultaneously. She  pulls her dark purple low cut jacket over her dark arms and rises to her feet.
"Anyway, I better get to class" she says leaning over placing a kiss on my model like cheek and walks away