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Chapter 18

Sunday 31st December
New year's eve.
"Rise and shine Sammy, we got a busy day ahead of us" Kie shouts throwing open the curtains and startling me awake. I allow my body to relax after the surprising shock of being woken so abruptly. He tosses me my jeans onto the bed spread landing beside my leg.
I let out a groan and rub my eyes, when Kie leaves i crawl from under the sheets and squeeze myself in to my cloths flattening out any creases. I glance up at mirror before leaving the room not wanting to stair at my reflection for too long, I know that If I do the chances of identifying a impurity are high. I rub at my eyes again feeling absent from the world like I do not belong, it's hard to think about the last time I felt like this, it must have been years. Back then my life was a rollercoaster of emotions, one morning I could be envinsable and the next fragile and wanting to pull my sheets over my head and block out the world, for a feew hours at least. Until Janet came in.
Depression ran in the family, on both sides too, two of my farther siblings committed suicide as well as my mother's mother, my grand mother. I had the tell tale signs of the illness in my younger years and even atbthat age the doctors decided to put me on medication  to try and stop the sickness ahead of time and it worked. At least I thought I had until this momment it was as if the medication had just pro longed the inevitable sickness from ingesting my body, it was like there was someone there with me, a back seat passenger telling me to shut up, to give up. Telling me that i am worthless and that no body cares about me, iI know iI should talk to someone talk to Kie, tell him How I feel, but I can't, I don't know what it is maybe it has somthing to do with the lack of time that we have spent together that I just don't feel comfortable sharing such a personal thing at this stage of our friends ship, I mean I guess i could tell him anyway but then that would be risky business. The last thing that I wanted to do was ree open a  not yet fully healed flesh wound of his farther.
I try and push the feelings of being alone to the back of my mind where I know they will grow and manifest into an emotional pain but it's new years eve and I wasn't about to let what might be a stupid illness destroy my chances of being happy.
When I get in to the dinning room the wooden oak table is covered in a large variety of food a range to perfection. Cold foods at one end of the table and warm foods on the other.
From Cereals, pancakes and fruit to bacon and eggs and hash browns. The mixture of smells over powering my nose, sweet than savoury and then back to sweet again, my nose unable to focus on one specific smell.
After breakfast Kie takes me shopping lugging me around from one shop to another. I was my sure what it was but there was somthing diffrent about American shopping centres. They wernt so busy. It is laid back and relaxed. Even the window displayes where strange. More set up, dozens of plastic models presenting the winter clothing. Another thing was that everyone was dressed in thick jumper complaing about the weather being cold but I didn't feel it, England was probably one of the coldest country's in the world and any place felt warmer to me. It was funny really thinking about how they would complain if they visited England. Even kie had taken up the cold feeling Complaining  not as much as everyone else but enough to make me feel him being dramatic, we meet v in the centre of the shopping centre and immidatly her hyperactive personality overwhelms me.
"Come on I found the perfect outfit for sammy" the grinding of my teeth comes back as she pulls us both towards a shop that I have never heard of before. #BUBA what a strange name for a shop I think to myself. Rows upon rows of clothing wracks  stretch out in front of us but veronica knows exactly what she is looking for a where to find it.
"Gotcha" she sings pulling a navy blue shirt from one of the wracks on the far left side of the shop and holds it up against my torso.
"Perfect" she says thrusting it in a way that forces me to accept it. She then pulls out a pair of black skin tight jeans and does the same. Without consulting with me or Kie she walks us towards the cash register. I look down at the clothing. Maybe v was right, they are the perfect cloths for a new year party, not to formal and not too casual.
"I got this" Kie says pulling his debit card from his wallet.
"No lie, I can pay for myself" but it's too late the card it's the scanner with a beep signalling that the transaction was successful.
"Don't worry about it, you just get it next time" Kie says a broad smile turning up the ends of his lips.
"I'm sure you said that last time" I say, his smile gets bigger.
"Come one guys my turn" veronica says strutting away. Her but swaying frim side to side, I hope that her judgement in clothing extends to herself and choosing herself somthing becuase I do not feel like spending an hour in a shop looming for the perfect dress, well at least she knew she wanted a dress.

We leave the shop with three dressed and a blose, which of Kie paid for two of them, she didn't budge a finger to stop him form paying. I get the sense that some of his friends are not his friends for him and maybe for his money. As much of a nice girl v is, and I hate to say it but I think that maybe she loves the money aspect of Kie's new life
Once done it's time to go back to Kie's house to get ready for tonight, Kie was taking us to a huge party in some where house down town. The biggest party of the year he told me, which was kind of funny, technical it's going to be the biggest party of this year and next year. It was so hard to think that we were at the end of 2017 already about to go in to a new year in a brand new frame of mind
06:30 Kie told us that he wanted to leave the house at seven, not giving us much time to get ready.
"Oh thanks for the warning" veronica says in a rush to gather her things
"Great three hours worth of time cramed into half an hour" she snarls her eyes dead and locked on Kie. I retrieve my clothing from the bags and are dressed in less then ten minutes.
Ready to go, I call out.
Ten minutes later and we are out the door pilling into the pre booked car.
"Are you ready Sammy boy" Kie says I feel the warmth in my cheeks the flapping of butterfly in my groin.
They were going to Bradley.