texting | 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙣

part thirtyeight

tonight syd and i are going to a huge party, and im hoping to get some stuff off of my mind.

such as zach and his stupid self, also his stupid girlfriend that keeps leaving hate on my account.

i honestly don't understand why they can't be mature, and keep their relationship to themselves instead of coming onto my account and telling me horrible things.

i'm in the process of getting ready for this party, and it honestly feels good that i can dress up and be independent.

i slipped on my pink off the shoulder dress, and my pink high heals.

i did my makeup, and left my hair in its natural wavy state, and waited for sydnie to finish. we walked out the door, and entered our uber.

i don't even know who's party this is, all i know is that i am going to have the time of my life.

let's hope shawn is there though, he's like a brother to me and i'm really thankful for him these past few days. even though i'm just a fan, it makes me happy that he treats all of his fans like his own friends.

we walked through the doors of the party, my nose was filled with the smell of alcohol, drugs, and music that makes my head have a horrible ache.

i was separated from syd after she went out to the dance floor with some random dude.

i walked to the chairs, and sat down because i didn't know if i could take care of the pain that is coming from my head.

"hello there lauren, what are you doing here at this party," i heard a familiar voice say.

"hey shawn, just trying to shake off some negative thoughts, but i don't think it was a good idea coming here," i responded.

"we can ditch and go to this nice cafe i know," he said with a huge smile.

"that would be amazing, let's go," i said while grabbing his hand.

"what about your friend," he asked.

"she will be fine, i'll try my hardest to find her tomorrow. she'll probably have a one night stand, and then find her way back to me," i told him.

"alright, well let's go," shawn said. we walked through the loud house, and walked down the street to the cafe.

we sat across from each other at the table, and admired each other's presence.

"can i open up to you," i said while braking the silence.

"please," he responded.

"i don't know how much more i can take, it's getting so hard to know that i may have lost one of the greatest things in my life. why is it so hard," i said as the tears started to fall.

"when you feel like you have the whole into world on your shoulders, and your anxiety levels are about to explode just know that you are not the only person that feels that way, i promise you, i promise you that things will get better. just stay strong for yourself, and for me."

"you have been one of my greatest blessings the past few days, and it makes me happy to know that you believe in your fans and treat them like your own friends."

"i feel like i just need to know everything my fans go through, and how they feel so i can be there for them and comfort them."

"you're a real inspiration, thank you so much shawn."

"i'm here for you at all times, just know that."

by now i was a crying mess, and i was okay with it though. shawn has helped me through all of my problems in this breakup. i'm glad that shawn and i have became very close friends since his concert, and it makes me very happy.

we just sat there after that drinking our milkshakes, while eating our French fries. sometimes sharing some glances, and giving each other small smiles.