My Brother's Best Friend

forty

L A S V E G A S D A Y S I X

We woke up at seven this morning to head back home. It was sad knowing we were leaving a day early, but, it was time to head home, especially after all of the incidents that have happened this week. I passed out for a while in the car. I felt bad since Garrett had to drive all the way home.

I didn't sleep at all last night. I felt bad for Garrett since I was sniffling and crying while tossing and turning all night. Well, I mean I don't understand how anyone could have slept peacefully when you just lost your son.

He would have turned one in a couple of weeks. I hate that he would never be able to see his first birthday. I hate that we wouldn't be able to go on any more walks and play in the ocean. I hate that I won't be able to fall asleep while he isn't at the foot of my bed.

The only thing I wanted to do was come home and hug him. I hated that I went on trips without him and left him at home. I would have never gone on this trip if I had known last week was the last time I was going to see him.

I'm just glad I got to say goodbye to him even though when I said it I had meant goodbye until next week. I'm glad that one of the last words I had said to him was, "I love you."

We decided that we would bury Boomer in our backyard next to his favorite place to lay in the sun. We eventually pulled onto the street where our house was. I dreaded driving on this road now since this is where my baby lost his life. We would be having a small ceremony in his honor as we bury Boomer.

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"Boomer was born on the 16th of June at a beautiful home in San Francisco. He was greatly loved by our entire family. Everyone here knows that the death of Boomer has been difficult even though it happened so recently. Boomer was very energetic, he had to be walked three times a day for the longest. He was wild." I took a deep breath from my speech, stifling a small laugh, and looked up at everyone, trying to blink the tears away. They were either staring at me or staring at Boomer's lifeless body.

"Despite all these difficulties, I wouldn't have changed anything. I would go through those short painful 48 weeks again and again for my little boy. I would love to be able to wake up three times in the middle of the night to take him out to the bathroom. Sadly, I will never be able to pick up any more of his dog shit in the house because he didn't want to go out while it was raining. I hope that while he was living he had felt safe, warm, and loved. Despite the pain and heartache that we feel, I feel lucky. Boomer chose to come to us. Thank you for everything, Boomer. You will always hold a special place in my heart. I love you." I took one last look at the box that held my lifeless dog. I touched his body one last time before I walked off to my boyfriend and fell apart in his arms.

I touched his body one last time before I walked off to my boyfriend and fell apart in his arms. "That was beautiful, Jess." He murmurs into my hair. I sniffled in response and grabbed his hand to hold it. I didn't feel close enough to him.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere for a long time. I'm not losing anyone else yet." He spoke again.

"Please don't ever leave me," I spoke through my sobs.

"I wasn't ever planning on it."

I watched as my brother and Garrett placed the box in the ground that held my best friend in. Our connection with each other was insane, I told Boomer things no one could ever know about me. I could trust him, knowing he couldn't tell anyone if he wanted to.

I took one last look at his grave before I went into my house feeling as if this place was foreign and I needed to leave.

You could tell this house didn't feel much like a home anymore. It was just a place where we lived. We decided we would sell this beach house when we all left for college since no one would be living in it anymore.