Slowly Dying

Chapter 60

Nicole's POV

Four hours ago

I ran up the stairs and set up a camera in my bedroom. I started filming a video for each person I thought had a significant part in my life, and told them why I'm going to do what I'm going to do. When I finished videoing one, I downloaded it onto a CD Disk, that I was supposed to use for a school project. I then wrote their name on the Disk and put it back into the case. I made 8 of these and left them neatly on my bed. I took off my jacket and hung it on a hanger. I was left in my crop top that had blood stains on it, which happened when I was beaten up earlier, and my shorts, which allowed me to see the bruises that Chloe and her mates gave me before on my legs.

I got up and walked to the bathroom. I locked the door so no one could come in. I put my phone on the small cabinet and put it on the video mode so it was recording. I got the razor's out from the packet. I sat inside the bathtub and cut my arms so deep that I could feel the pain more than ever. I felt a huge wave of relief and I cut again, not caring if I went too deep, I just wanted to feel the pain. There was blood dripping off my arms and dropped onto the floor in droplets. I took the bottle of Phenol. The tears ran down my face and I shut my eyes and drank it. I only managed to drink a small amount. The taste was really strong and horrible. I then tried again and managed to drink the whole bottle without gagging.

I remained sitting in the bath tub and cried and cried. I wish there would have been another way out. Another way so I could be happy again. But there wasn't. This was the only way out.

I'm just scared, scared of the nightmares that haunt me daily. There are many that don't wish to sleep for fear of nightmares. Sadly, there are many who don't wish to wake for the same fear. Sometimes pain is all that lets you know that you're alive. Sometimes you have to pretend, pretend that you're living a normal life and you're not depressed. A fake smile is the biggest killer, behind my smiles they don't know just how sad and broken I really am. They don't know how much pain I'm in. Sometimes pain is so unimaginable that the idea of spending another day with it seems impossible. Life hurts a lot more than death. The worst type of crying is the silent one, the one where everyone is asleep. The one where you feel it in your throat and your eyes become blurry from the tears. And the worst of all is that you know you're all alone.

I sharp pain from my chest made me scream out in pain. I screamed so loud. I could not stop myself. I could feel my whole body burning up inside. The pain suddenly stopped and I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I felt another sharp pain inside me and I screamed louder than I had ever done. It was unbearable but I needed to feel the life leave me. I screamed another ear piercing scream which made me cry at the same time.

***

Adam's POV

Present Time

I kept hold of her hand. I kept hold. I'm not ready to leave her. I'm not ready to live a life without her. My sight became blurry and everything became disorientate. My legs gave in and I fell to the floor, on my knees.

"Oh, my baby!" I heard someone yelp, when the door opened.

I looked up to see Nicole's Mum and Dad rush to her. Her mum was about to collapse when her Dad held her. I wiped the tears off my cheeks. Her mum began to wail and cry at the sight of Nicole. I stroked Nicole's hair and kissed her one last time on her head. I let go. I let go of her hand and went out, leaving her Mum and Dad with her.

I ran to my car and sat in. I cried and cried for Nicole. She didn't deserve this. I looked at the seat that she was sat in and it was soaked in blood. I drove back to Nicole's house and went in. The door was closed but not locked so I could go in. I went to her room. The thought that she'd never be here again hurt like hell.

On her bed was DVD disks that had names on them. I saw one with mine and took it. I saw one with Chloe's and the rest of Chloe's friends names on it and I took that as well. Why would she have made one for Chloe? I also took the one that had Amelia's name on it. Why did Nicole leave these for us? I drove straight home. The tears still fell down my cheeks and I looked a mess.

She was no longer hurting. She was no longer more. Her enemies had managed to break it. All her pain was gone. She was finally broken by her enemies. She was no longer the girl that was slowly dying. For she was already dead.

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What do y think of the two recent chapters? I might delete this one because she's actually killing herself and some people don't like reading so tell me your opinionsss.

I know you hate me for killing Nicole. I was trying to give it a more real life feel to it. So you guys must know at least one person who has killed themselves because they had been bullied. Normally you'd feel that there is no way out and the option of telling someone is just impossible because you actually believe that there's no way out. You feel like you can't talk to anyone. That's how Nicole felt. It's sad isn't it that this still happens today. That people like Nicole are so nice to everyone yet they're getting bullied, like how does that make sense?? It's so unfair- message me if you ever need me.

There was a girl who messaged me that she was going to kill herself. She never gave me time to reply and now she's dead. I wish she gave me time to reply because I feel like I could've helped her.
RIP Vanessa xx.