Today was the concert. Josh was back in L.A. and no longer allowed at any concerts. Bang cut off all contact with him and considered me the soul owner of the company. It was a refreshing feeling, being free. Jimin had so many questions about my out burst. I never told him about being raped. Granted there is still a lot no one knows. But now that Josh is gone I can move on. And I have been gathering evidence of this abuse for about a year. Well ever since I broke up with him. Which that day is seared in my head, gross. I have photos of injuries and eyewitness statements of his abuse. When we get home I am taking control of the company. And suing him for harassment.
Today however I have to deal with still managing this concert while being injured. I have to wear these earplugs because of the noise of being backstage. The noises are to loud for my head. Plus I have to keep these bandages on too.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I couldn't bring myself to wear Jimin's sweatshirt again. Though he insisted it was mine now. I just couldn't do that to him. Especially when V told me it was Jimin's favorite thing ever. Yes it made me feel safe but it was important to him. I am going to hide in his room the day we go to China so he can keep it. Maybe.
We all ate breakfast and for the first time in a long time I actually wanted to eat today. I ate kimchi and eggs. I just felt so free since Josh left. It was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. And now everyone knew what had been going on. I no longer had to hide how I felt about it. I don't have to keep it all in anymore. I can talk to my friends and family. Honestly this is all thanks to Jimin and Namjoon. Really all of Bangtan, they saved my life.
"You look better today." Suga smiled hugging me this morning. That was nice coming from the turtle.
"I feel like I've just been set free from the death row. Honestly this is the first time in my life I feel genuinely safe." I admitted making everyone happier.
"Thank you guys so much." I bowed so grateful they could never be repaid enough. Jimin made me sit straight telling me to stop.
"The only reason he left was because you yelled at him like that." Jimin reasoned but that's not it. They were my literal heroes.
"I just can't believe it. He's really leaving me alone." It was a miracle.
We finished breakfast and went to the stadium. It was smaller then Japan but still big. I set everything up. I reorganized the dance routine. Ashlye slipped into my roll with Jimin perfectly. I am so happy I had her learn the choreo just in case. The background dancers I had take turns one who would be directly behind the group. It all depended on the song on who went where. We went through the whole concert start to finish four times. Then I had BTS do mic check. They went through the vocals of the songs a few times. After we had lunch. Jimin kept checking on me all day, like sitting is going to strain me so hard.
So this concert Jungkook and Shaz are taking me and Jimin's place. The next concert Jhope and Tay will take our spot.
Lunch went by fast, I didn't eat too much. I wasn't feeling good. I won't show it though. Let them think anything but weakness. We practiced another 4 hours before they got dinner. They showered and met me back here at the stadium 2 hours later. I spent all that time organizing the concert. Figuring back stage passes. I guess 9 people got them. So that will be fun... Maybe.
