Life or "Death"

The Short Explanation

I was in the hospital bed thinking about whether or not Bella had a chance at living through the crash. Charlie and Lee were sitting in the chairs next to me. They looked as though they wanted to break the silence but what would they say? Sorry your sister died? Sorry you're going through this? They didn't do anything wrong. They shouldn't have to say sorry. It's my fault she's dead. I should have pushed her out of the way. I need an explanation. I need to know if she died at the scene or if she died here at the hospital.
"Dad?" I asked my voice soft and shaky from crying.
He looked up and said "Yes sweetheart?"
"This is hard for me to ask but what happened? Did she have a chance.... you know of surviving?" I asked worried what he would say.
"I think it's best if I explain the whole story." Dad said softly.
"I got a call saying there was a wreck at the highschool. I thought it would be a small crash seeing as you should be very careful when driving on ice. I got to the school about the same time the ambulence did. The first thing I saw, was a van and Bella's truck together. I then saw your legs in between the van and the truck. I saw a lot of guys pushing the van away then I saw Rosalie put your legs down gently and go to comfort you. When rose got out of the way I saw Bella laying on the ground all beat up bye the van. I ran to her because I wanted to see if she would live. Before I got there though I heard you scream. I looked over to you and the next thing I knew you pass out and Rosalie is calling out your name frantically. Since I was already close to Bella I went to check on her first. I knelt down to feel a pulse but soon realized it was very slow. I saw paramedics running towards us to help  I explain that Bella has a slow heartbeat. They get her on the gurney and take her to the ambulance. Then they told me I had to go with her to tell them anything they needed to know. I then told them about how you were also in the car crash and that you were seriously injured. They looked over and saw Rosalie with you and said that she would be with you on the other ambulance. I agreed seeing that if Bella had a chance of surviving she would need to go to the hospital quickly. When we got to the hospital they brought her to Dr. Cullen. It was about thirty minutes later when he came back and said he couldn't save her and that the injuries were too severe. He let me see her one last time before asking what I wanted to do. I then told him you wouldn't want to see her because the pain was too much...." He paused and looked at me. He was right I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I nodded for him to continue. The he proceeded withe the explanation. "He took her body away and then I asked about you.... Carlisle said he would go check on you so I waited about ten minutes till he came back with you charts. He then told me both you legs were broken and that because of the severity of the wreck, you might not be able to walk anymore." I sat shocked. I couldn't believe it. Along with me losing my sister I also lost my ability to walk.
"Thank you for telling me." I whispered.
Then there was a knock at the door. Lee went to go get it and then said "It's Jasper. He was wondering if he could come in."
I just nodded instead of speaking. He had hurt written all over his face when he walked in. "Are you ok?" he asked. I just thought well that's a stupid question. For the first time today I got mad. "Of course I'm not ok. I lost my sister. I lost my ability to walk I lost her. And it's all my fault..." I raised my voice at the beginning of the statement but was crying by the end of it. And what surprised me most was Jasper engulfing me in a hug.
"It's not your fault" he says. I stay quiet. Then I realize I haven't thanked Carlisle for everything that he's done to help. "Where's Carlisle?" I asked. Jasper looked up. He looks as though he has a secret that he has to keep. Lee tenses up too. "He just left to go deal with something at home." He says. "Oh" I say. "Why?" he asks. I just wanted to thank him.
I wonder what my life will consist of now....