Mind of mine.

Is falling in love worth it?

I thought I was in love before. But this was different. 

I had so many doubts about it. But then again. 

I too was at one time a skeptic. I used to feel that our society inundated us with unrealistic fairy tale romances and the notion that being in love would somehow lead to happiness was a lie. Seeing broken marriages, dysfunctional relationships, and fragmented families I couldn't help but believe that the whole love thing was a sham. It was confusing seeing love depicted as this awesome, end all be all emotion that would provide fulfillment to life, when in reality I saw so much of the misery that love caused. For quite some time I rationalized love as being nothing more than lust with a hint of emotional attachment. In addition to seeing the misery caused by love, I couldn't get over the fact that so many things in human courtship seemed to be calculated ("Is kissing on the second date appropriate?" "Should I call her the next day?" "Will he think badly of me if I put out too soon?" etc.), which made things seem formulaic and cold.

Then it happened. I don't think many people plan on it happening or can actively pin point when and where they "fell" in love (at least I can't). For me it was a gradual process born from an emotional connection unlike any other I had ever experienced. It induced a euphoria that's hard to describe with words. It made the most mundane things exciting and exciting things extraordinary. The embrace of that special someone will make winters seem warm and summers feel cool. It makes you willing to sit through hours of corny rom coms and attend awkward social gatherings. Their happiness transcends yours in matter of importance and the joy derived from their kiss is nothing short of perfect bliss. When not as intense, their simple presence provides contentment and happiness. All of this will probably sound like embellished pleasantries if you're in the camp of skeptics so I'll pose the value of love from a different perspective.

I learned more about myself, intimacy, and relationships from being in love than any psychology text or dating guru has ever taught me. This alone is reason enough to make love worth it.

If your skepticism stems from the societal hype around it, your doubts are logical. However, the millions of lovelorn souls and millennia of art, poetry, and other forms of expression based on love that precede you couldn't ALL have been fooled by a construction of the mass media and societal hype. It is worth noting that the necessity of romantic love can be exaggerated, but that does not invalidate its value.

If your skepticism is like mine used to be, you have to realize that love is not a "happily ever after" proposition. Unfortunately, love will drag you through the mud, beat you to the ground, and leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable. The feeling of love gone awry is extremely painful and consumes your body and mind. However, the height of the highest peak of love is greater than the depths of its lowest valley. The experiences of a romantic love are surreal and cathartic. The cliche "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." is true.

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you've never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can't wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it's like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day's work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there's no need for continuous conversation, but you find you're quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile.

 Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

But hey, don't take my word for it. Live life with an open mind and you'll find out for yourself.