Watching

Part 5

5.

She was waiting for his answer. What was he doing here? She found it quite impossible that he just happened to be there. She was still getting over the shock of seeing him again, after more than 18 months of complete radio silence between them. She felt queasy but made sure he did not notice that. He was the one who had left so he owed her an explanation. No need to let him know how simply freaked out she was about seeing him again.

He didn't know where to begin. He couldn't very well tell her that he had been following her for almost two weeks, could he? She would ask him why and he didn't know how to answer that question either. He had tried to find out more about what her life was like now. He hadn't wanted to intrude. She didn't need to know he was back if there was no room for him in her life anymore.

He needed to tell her something. So he told her "I was away for a while, I was kinda screwed up. I recently moved back to New York and was hoping to see you."

She was listening. This still did not explain how he had ended up at the exact same restaurant where she was today, and he knew it. So he continued.

"I wasn't sure if you would appreciate it if I just showed up so I um ... well, I tried to get a read on how you were doing first."

"Elliot Stabler, have you been following me?!"

Her eyes were wide and practically on fire now. She was pissed off.

Actually, she was feeling a lot more than just pissed off. But anger could mask pretty much every other emotion, and she had every right to be angry if he had indeed been following her around. Her head was spinning and on top of that, her heart was jumping for joy. She had missed him so much that it hurt physically. There was nothing rational about the rush she had felt when she saw his face again so unexpectedly. His bright blue eyes, his masculine jawline, his broad shoulders, his cocky smile when he had cornered her client. All of him, finally filling the void again that he had left in her life, like a missing piece that was suddenly found again to complete a puzzle. To complete her. On top of that, she had immediately noticed the absence of his ring. But she wasn't going to tell him all that! No way. He had some explaining to do first.

He hesitated. He had not been prepared to talk to her. Not yet. He wanted to explain to her where he had been and why he hadn't contacted her but they were both in shock right now. And in public. It seemed like she was holding up just fine and he admired her restraint. He wasn't holding up very well himself but managed to say something anyway.

"Liv ... I don't know what to say to you right now. Can we ... can we get out of here? This isn't the place ..."

"You're damn right this isn't the place, Elliot Stabler," she shot back, keeping her voice down but not hiding her anger. "So what are you doing here? Have you been stalking me?!"

He was at a loss for words. Before he could think of anything to say, she got up abruptly and walked away. He got up to follow her but she put up one hand while heading for the exit. He knew she was saying he shouldn't follow her. He walked over to the cash register to pay both their bills and saw her hailing a cab outside before he was finished. He took a deep breath and walked outside as well, back to his car. This was not what he had wanted to happen. Not at all.

...

Olivia's heart was racing. She had been caught completely off guard. She was grateful that her training had kicked in immediately and, much to her own surprise, that she had relied completely on Elliot's ability to understand her with only a few words. She had returned to her temporary apartment and had changed into her normal work attire. She had to take a few deep breaths to steady herself before returning to the precinct.

Her cover had remained in tact and the operation had not been jeopardized. In fact, after her date had returned to the house, the entire gang had been arrested. She was back at the station and was trying to get some paperwork done while the arrested paedophiles were waiting for their lawyers to show up. But she could not concentrate. Frustrated, she tossed her pen on the desk with a little too much force and it flew across her desk onto the floor.

John Munch picked it up and looked at her attentively.

"Liv, are you alright?" he asked her, handing her the pen.

She leaned back in her chair and sighed.

"Yeah, I'm just tired I guess. It's been quite a week and I think I will need to shower three times a day for a while to get all that smut off me."

Captain Cragen walked in and heard the last part of what she was saying.

"I think we can all use a shower. Why don't you go home Liv. You too Rollins," he added, turning around to the blonde detective. "Take the rest of the day off."

Both women started to say something but their captain put up both hands and said firmly: "That's an order. Go!"

They knew objecting would be pointless and they got up to leave. Liv really wanted to get back to her own apartment but would have to get a few things from her temporary place first. Now was as good a time as any, and she headed out.

...

Elliot was back in his apartment on West 89th street. He was pacing in the living room, occasionally glancing across the street at her apartment. He did not know when she would be back. He had not blown her cover and he did not know how long she would have to remain under. This was not going according to plan. Well, he hadn't had a real plan yet, but if he had, this would not have been it. He was frustrated. She had walked out and he had no idea how she felt. About the situation and about him. But now she knew he was back.

He had to think of a way to get in touch with her again without angering her - again. But she would have to return to her own apartment first. He couldn't show his face in the EastVillage again while she was still undercover. So he went back to his old routine. Watching. Until she would be back.

Much to his surprise, he saw the lights were on in her apartment that evening. He could see her walking around, putting her things away. Had the operation ended or had they aborted it? He was beginning to think maybe he had messed it up after all. Stupid, stupid, stupid! he thought to himself. He should never have gotten that close. How could he face her again?

After a while and idea began to form in his mind. A smile played on his lips as he thought about it some more. He sat down to work out the details right away and since she was back at her place, he would be able to start the next day. He knew he was taking a chance and she might not appreciate it at all, but he had to try. He had to do something.

...