Watching

Part 8

8.

Nick was watching her from across their desks. She could feel his stare. She tried to ignore him but he knew her well enough by now to know there was something on her mind. But she did not want to tell him about Elliot. Not yet, anyway. Nick could be just as stubborn and hotheaded as her former partner. As much as she appreciated the fact that he was protective of her, she did not want to risk these two men getting in each other's faces. Still, she could not help smiling slightly at the thought of the two of them, and Nick noticed.

"Wow, I didn't think I would see that today!" he said.

She looked up. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Your smile. You were miles away Liv."

She smiled again but she did not respond to his comment.

"Liv," Nick tried again. "Are you alright? You have been a little off ever since you and Rollins were undercover. Did something happen that you haven't told us?"

Olivia sighed and ran a hand through her long hair. Maybe it would be easiest to let Nick believe she was upset about something that happened during their undercover operation. So she told him about her final date with the bearded paedophile and that he had groped her. She left out seeing Elliot there and made a vague comment about being a little shaky afterwards.

Nick wasn't buying it. She could tell. He knew full well that she would have no trouble getting a groper off her and send him on his way. She could see him hesitate but she was relieved when it looked like he was going to drop it. He started to tell her she should include the groping in her report when Cragen told them both to head out to the apartment of a new rape victim. They grabbed their coats and left immediately.

As it turned out, the case kept them busy all day and all night, and by morning Olivia caught a few hours of sleep in the cribs before getting back to work.

...

Elliot remembered how things worked at the SVU. Still, he was a little disappointed that he had not seen her at all that evening and the next morning. He was getting ready to go back to work. He wondered if he should bring the fourth rose over now, before going off to work. She would not be getting home any time soon but if she went home early this afternoon, he did not want to run in to her. So he went over quickly. He hesitated after hanging the small plastic bag on her door knob, still not entirely sure he picked the right note.

...

It was late when Olivia finally got home on Tuesday night. She was dead on her feet. Talking to the rape victim had drained her physically as well as emotionally, as it so often did. She just wanted to shower and sleep. The captain had told her it would be alright to come in a bit later the next day and she was looking forward to sleeping in. She dragged herself upstairs to her apartment and paused for a moment when she saw that there was another rose. Her heart beat a little faster when she walked up to her door to pick up the beautiful red flower. There was a new note:

'Can we talk?'

She flipped the note over automatically and saw he had scribbled his new cell phone number on the back. He had added in brackets: Whenever you are ready.

She went into her apartment, wondering when she would be ready to talk to Elliot. It had almost been two weeks since their unexpected encounter at the restaurant. They had not spoken yet but a lot had gone through her mind. She appreciated how careful Elliot was being in approaching her. She had time after each rose to deal with some of her feelings towards him and his departure. She had felt a lot of resentment against him when she didn't hear from him but now that he was back, and reaching out to her, she was beginning to believe he might actually have a plausible explanation for it all. And she had admitted to herself how much she missed him.

He had always been there, always had her back. He knew when to back off and when to push her to talk. She had never had a lot of real friends and she really missed that part of their partnership. Working with other detectives had not been the issue, once she got her head together again. And Nick was trying to be a friend to her as well. But with twelve years of history together, it wasn't easy for anyone to match up to what she had had with Elliot.

She wasn't the trusting kind. Trust was something that had to be earned. She would never assume she could trust someone and so far, everyone had indeed let her down. When she met David Haden, she thought she was ready to move on after Elliot left, and be happy. David had promised her he wasn't going anywhere. When their jobs created a conflict of interest, he left her anyway. She wasn't sure she was ready to trust Elliot again but she definitely missed what they had together.

She placed the rose in the vase. She had taken the first rose out because it had started wilting so there were still three. I'm sorry. I miss you. Can we talk?
She added his new phone number to the contacts in her phone but she wasn't ready to call him. Not yet. She walked over to the window to close the curtains. It was getting colder outside and she wanted to just huddle up in her apartment, to forget about the world for a while.

...

Elliot had seen her come home and close the curtains. He didn't know how she had taken his invitation to call him. He would keep his cell phone close at all times from now on. Whenever she was ready.

...