Watching

Part 6

6.

Olivia had not slept well. She was glad to be back in her own apartment and her own bed but she still had not recovered from the shock of seeing Elliot again. Where had he come from? Had he really been following her around? And if so, why?  And the bigger question resurfaced: why had he left her without a word in the first place? Despite her confusion about both why's, she could not deny the fact that she was also very happy to know that she obviously still meant something to him.

She found herself humming along with a song on the radio while driving to work early that Thursday morning. She smiled when she realized why she was feeling happier than she had been in a long time. She wondered if Elliot was going to show himself again soon. She had no intention of letting him know how happy she was just to see him again though. He deserved to suffer a little bit after what he had put her through. She looked around as she parked the car but there was no sign of him. She shook her head when she acknowledged the slight disappointment she felt. That man ... he still had the same effect on her as ever.

...

When she returned in the evening she stopped abruptly when she saw something at the door of her apartment. It was a long, single red rose in a glass vase. She knew who it was from. She smiled and took the rose inside. She walked over to the window and looked outside, hoping to catch a glimpse. She smelled the rose and smiled again.

He watched her from his apartment and smiled as well. She had found the rose and had accepted it.

...

Another day at work. She tried to concentrate on her partner. He was going on about one of their cases and how they should work the suspect to get a confession, but her thoughts kept drifting to other things. Nick noticed and asked her point blank: "Something bothering you Liv?"

She looked at him, a bit startled.

"No, why?"

"Well, you don't seem exactly focused to me," Nick said.

"I'm sorry Nick. Please continue."

Nick shook his head. "No offense Liv, but I'd rather take a run at this guy with Rollins. Your heart isn't in it today."

He couldn't know how right he was. Her heart was elsewhere and it amazed her. How easily had Elliot slipped back into her thoughts and her dreams. Wasn't she supposed to be mad at him? Hadn't he hurt her the way no man had ever hurt her? She was and he had. And yet, she was relieved. Relieved to find she still had a place in his life. Relieved that he was alright and not dead. Yes, she had even feared he was dead when he didn't contact her again. That had been so unlike him. But as much as she tried to be angry and tried to hate him, her heart just wouldn't agree. She was feeling almost the opposite of what she thought she was supposed to feel.

She thought about the beautiful red rose that she had set on a side table in her apartment. It felt like a peace offering. Elliot's old phone number had been disconnected ages ago. She didn't know how to contact him herself. She had decided that she shouldn't be the one to initiate further contact anyway. Still, she hoped she would hear from him again soon. She expected a fight. They had always been so good at fighting. Fighting was intense and that is what they had always been. Intense. And she missed that intenseness. So much. Too much. They would fight - but they would always reconnect.

She sighed and tried to turn her attention back to work. Nick had already left for the interrogation room with Rollins and she looked around. No one else seemed to notice how distracted she had been. She opened one of her other case files, trusting Nick to handle the one they had discussed earlier.

...

Several days passed and Olivia didn't hear from Elliot. She tried not to be too disappointed. She had gotten used to surviving without him, and just knowing he had not forgotten about her made it a little easier this time. She spent a lazy weekend at home and hoped she would be more focused on the job that Monday. She managed to get a full day in without any complaints from Nick or Cragen and finally went home around 6.30 pm.

Out of the blue, there was another rose, dangling in a small plastic bag from her doorknob. This time, there was a small card attached, reading 'I'm sorry'. Olivia took it and placed the rose in the vase with the first one. She felt a warm glow in her chest. Elliot was coming back to her. She walked over to the window again. She knew she wouldn't see him in the street but she looked anyway. She took a deep breath and shook her head. When did she become such a sap? She was Badass Benson, wasn't she?

...

Elliot watched her. Again. He smiled as he studied her face. She was thinking about him. He was sure of it. Her face was soft. Softer than he had expected it to be. He wasn't surprised that she had gotten angry with him at the restaurant. He had expected her anger and he did not mind it. He was afraid to see her pain. There was some pain in her eyes but there was more than just pain. He felt a pang in his chest. Was it possible that she was actually happy to see him again? He was beginning to hope. He looked at his next note, that he would attach to the next rose and felt a lump forming in his throat.
It read 'I miss you'.

...