Across The Hall

High School Parties

*Four days after prom/ Run out.*

I've been depressed for almost 3 months and this moment right now sitting on my bed is the worst I have ever felt. I feel alone. Why do I always have to be so afraid of what is coming my way. Why do I always push people away. People who love me. I just sat here and thinking about everything that happened, and everything that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been afraid. I know it's bad for me, for my mind, for my depression but I couldn't help think of Cameron and what he was doing, what he was thinking about me, what if he tells everyone how I was a sex and run. I could loose everything. He has the power to do that. It makes everything worse and makes me wanna be destroyed. I wanted Lucci with me all the time now.

"Let's go to the senior party tonight." Lucci burst into my room.

"Lucci... You know I can't."

"I don't want to hear anymore of your bitching about the stupid viner. You're coming to the party and going to kiss every guy there." As her harsh words entered into my ear.. Something inside my little body broke... Like the anger I have been holding in.

I sat there on my bed as Lucci looked like satan. With crossed arms and waiting for me to say something.. Anything.

"Stupid viner?" I shook my head and ran my fingers though my messy pun.

"Okay sorry that was to far. I mean I'm pretty sure I like him more then you." She sat next to me on my bed.

"I really doubt that." We both laughed. But really she had no idea what I meant by saying that.

"So what will you wear?" She hopped off my bed and let herself into my semi big closet.

"This?" She pulled out my Jack Daniels top and high wasted white watched shorts.

"Lucci I really don't think I..."

"I don't give a crap about what you think. You're going and Braxton will be there so look cute." She kept looking though my closes.

"Didn't you just barely get new converse for prom? Where are they?" She searched through my closet.

"Umm I left... Them in Cameron car.."

"Well I guess you are going to have to wear these." He handed me my doc Martin's.

"Hey mom me Delilah and Lucci are going out with some friends." Kadence kissed my mothers cheek and acted like she was so innocent...

"Delilah why are you wearing that?"

"What? It's better then what I am wearing..." Lucci joked.

I held my breath at how scared I was. I shouldn't be I grew up with these kids. But I was nervous that something was going to happen to me that Cameron wouldn't approve of. Which is pathetic. Because I just barely run out on him.

"Here we go." I muttered under my breath.

There were more kids then I thought there was going to be. The house that it was at was huge, and it still couldn't fit them all.

"Delilah!!" Braxton.. Its like he was waiting for me, some how knowing I was going to be here.

"can I get that dance now?"

no "sure" By dancing he met grinding. I have never done this type of dancing before.. But I'm not a virgin anymore.. so YOLO.. Im kidding.

As we danced I tryed my best to get caught in the crowd and swim away from Braxton. But nothing was working. He would grab me and grind on me again.

Oh gosh that kids just touched my butt.. Oh no thats my boob.. Oh please don't notice me.... ahh god you smell like shit. I hate this. I am out. I pushed through all the people trying to get some air. I just.. ahh. Once I got out of the nasty crowd. I stood there looking at all the girls that were letting these stupid high school boys take advantage of them because this is what they thought love was, We all want to be loved. I could tell in her eyes that's she really wanted to be loved by him and she would do anything do be loved, but he would not love her. Sex has ruined this society.

And at this moments I relized that I love Cameron, I loved the way he treated me like a lady and didn't kiss anyone else even when we weren't dating and wasn't a retated high school boy grinding on everyone girl he could get his hands. I shouldn't do anything right now. I shouldn't have said anything about it. I should be dead. He he isn't going to love me anymore... I'm bipolar.

"Hey Delilah." Braxton smashed his face on top of mine kissing me with his big football lips. I pulled away quickly still thinking out Cameron.. I hate Braxton. But once I looked around once more everyone was kissing everyone. I saw one kid kiss four kid one after another. Is this what stupid high school parties come too.

2014 The year I fell in love with someone who wouldn't 'Rape kiss' me. Someone who liked me for me.

But I didn't know how to say to Cameron that I am I just high school girl who has not idea what to do or know that I am in love with him. I was still standing there with Braxton towering over me, thinking that I liked his rape kiss. Him thinking i wanted something with him. All I wanted from him was to get as far away from me as possible. But while I was thinking all of this. My heart was braking but at the same time it was just barley becoming a real heart. It felt like I was dying but just becoming a real human.

"Delilah." Braxton said as I came out of my trace..

"Umm yeah good job... I'm going to go find someone who won't rape kiss me."

"OHHH!!!" A loud sound from all around went down.

I ran.. I didn't walk.. ran all the way home. Some how I also managed to keep a smile on my face. I knew this is real. Acually I didn't I was just praying to the lords that I wasn't dreaming.

Once I finally got to the front doors I waited there for a minute trying to catch my breath, still smiling.

"I don't know what to do.." I started ranting around my room. Yelling.. Not knowing if I should call Cameron or the other opiton.. Leave it alone.

There was a loud crash that came from the end of the hall. I thought I was home alone. Trippy.

"Gannon?" I opened the slightly cracked door. He was kissing another boy.

"Delilah!" I stood there again breathless.