Still Into You (Connor Franta Fanfiction)- Sequel to Twins

Chapter 12- Serious Mistake

NOW IT'S JO'S POV. (Comment on this line, would it be a good idea to like type out "Connor's POV" and "Joel's POV" for every chapter??)

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Oh god what have I done. I ran after Connor as fast as my legs could carry me. As much as I knew what I just did seemed like cheating, I'm just really really.... Ugh, I don't know. 

Within the last few days of my attempts to ignore him to try to figure out my feelings for him, nothing has changed. I just realised how hard he tried. I realised how I never tried to improve our relationship..... I would sit aside and be jealous and cry. But never have I tried to change it. 

And that's the reason for me running after him at 1am. It was always my fault. I guess he has had enough. But I love him still. When Kian kissed me back in the living room, I didn't feel the sparks I felt when I kissed Connor.

It was totally different, like it meant nothing at all.

I didn't pull away, I was still in shock. But Connor arrived at that exact same time and I didn't hear him open the door over my shock. Now everything is so messed up and haywired. 

"Connor, come back! At least give me a chance to explain!" I exclaimed as I panted. He finally stopped running and spun around. He jogged towards me and looked at me with eyes that were burning with fire. 

"What? What are your supposedly 'acceptable' reasons for kissing one of my best friends on the couch?" He spoke as his words laced with anger. 

"I... Okay, I'll just start from the beginning. I was ignoring you because I didn't know what I wanted. I was starting to question our relationship. I wondered if I still loved you, which was stupid. I shouldn't have ever done that. But the moment Kian kissed me just now, I started to notice. How different it was everytime I kissed you. I was in shock at that moment and I just.... I'm sorry Connor, I truly am." I spoke apologetically as I stared at my feet.

"Nope, it's not happening again. I'm not returning to you, no. I'm always the one trying, it was never you. It's tiring me out so much." he scoffed at me. I looked at him with tears brimming out of my eyes as he walked away into the distance. 

No, no, no, no. I chased after him and hugged him from behind.

"Let go." he spat at me. I just held onto him even more tighter. He pulled his arms free from my grip and pried my arms off him before he continued walking on. 

This time there was nothing that I could do, I felt weak. I crumpled onto the pavement by the road right where I stood and cried my heart out. I heard footsteps coming closer to me and I looked up expecting to see Connor, instead I saw Shanthi. 

"Come on, let's go home. Kian told me to check on you just before he went home." she held out a hand that grabbed mine and led me home. The whole way we just walked home silently, I guess she knew that I was not in the mood to speak.

She opened the door of our apartment and I walked straight into my room, not wanting to see the couch where everything began. I crawled under my covers and stared into my ceiling. My mind was blank, my heart was broken, my eyes were tired of crying. I just stared at the ceiling not thinking of anything. 

A knock on the door sounded and I looked up, it was Shanthi standing at the doorway with 2 cups of tea. She handed me a cup and sat beside me on my bed. I leaned over to hug her, it's a form of thanking her for always being beside me. 

"All you have to do is know what you want Joel, if you knew all along, this wouldn't have happened. Make up your mind on what you want and go for it. I'll be rooting for you no matter what." Shanthi told me before walking back outside again. 

She was right. All of these were happening because I didn't know what I wanted. I just did it without knowing what I needed and wanted.

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HEEEYYYYY YAA'LLLLL HOW ARE YA'LL LIKING THESE UPDATES?!

This was originally supposed to be published on Saturday but I'm going on holiday to Japan! And I'll be away for about 6 days, so by next week my updates should return to a normal schedule again. (OR I can continue giving you guys extra updates ;) whatever floats your boat.)

Okay, I know I don't normally do this but the song for this chapter is All Of The Stars by Ed Sheeran. Idk why but when I think of this chapter, the first thing that comes to mind is that song. So I guess it'd be really suitable. 

LAST CHAPTER I FOUND SOME UNICORNS! So, the last chapter's goodbye was by iisuperwomanii also known as Lilly. She's such a funny youtuber, definitely check her out. So the goodbye for this chapter is...

I had fun hanging with you and I hope  you had fun hanging with me and I will see you, tomorrow! 

BAII

See you guys after my holiday in Japan! <3

~Winnegan