This Is How I Disappear

Chapter 7: Headfirst For Halos (Part 2)

A/N: we've still got quite a ways to go until this ends. So be ready all of you. Tell your friends maybe? That'd be cool..make em read it? That'd be awesome. Please. Comment on how I did. -Gerard

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*Lucas' Pov*

I stayed home that day. I had been sick, my worry about my brother leaving. Mom caught me before school and insisted that I had a fever, she made me stay home. But I knew I didnt have a fever at all. So I slrpt all day, resting up on the energy that I missed overnight. The house was already unfamiliar without my brother. But around three, there was banging on the front door. I pulled myself out of bed and went downstairs. When I opened the door it was Zeke and Quinton.

"Uhm, hey?" I said with a yawn, they pushed passed me inside.

"Where's your phone?" Zeke asked looking at me. I closed the front door and faced them.

"On my dresser, why?" I answered. Quinton ran upstairs to my room. Zeke and I sat on the couch, when Quinton came back down he tossed me my phone. I clicked a button, I had voicemail.

"Listen to it." Zeke ordered. I nodded and started to play it. It was from Xander. His voice the whole tine sounded pained. The words he spoke told me everything. My brother, who I thought was the strongest guy in the world was killing himself. Not slowly with the drugs, but after the message I could hear the scraping of metal on porcaline, fhen he hung up.

"N-no." I stuttered dropping my phone. I felt my insides breaking, my heart speeding up, abd ny breath coninf in pants. I looked at Quinton and Zeke. "He... he's dead?" I muttered. Quinton came and sat next to me wrapping and arm around my shoulder. I shoved him away. "Is my brother dead?" I asked, I pulled my knees to my chest and clasped my hands together. Quinton was calling someone.

"Hello?" Said a voicd, it was full of worry.

"Trent? Its Quinton." Quin sakd, the phone was on speaker.

"Uh..hi." trent said, he cleared his throat "X-xander isn't here."

"Trent.. Is he dead?" Quinton asksd. Trent let out a sigh, my stomach dropped down to my toes.

"Quinton, I don't know. They wouldn't let me go with him in the ambulence. They told me to check the Hospital tomorrow." Trent answered.

"He cant be dead." I whispered, Zeke hugged me tightly.

"We're coming down there." Quinton said.

"Okay." Trwnt said, he then gave us his address, location, and cell number. After that we called Mom and Dad, Gram and Gramps. They all cane rusging home. We packed bags, we would stay at a hotel.

We piled into Gram's MiniVan that had seven seats. The three of us guys sat in the very back. I leabed on Quinton and curled up. This would be a long ride. Long times 1000000 cause I was scared. There were butrons for the radio back here, so Quinton and I plugged his iPod in and The Used sounded through the speakers.

I sighed, "someone shoot me!" I shouted. Everyone but Dad who was driving looked at me.

"Don't say that, Lucas." Mon said.

"He might be dead!" I screamed, Zeke put a hand over my mouth.

"Shut up, Lu. He's fine I bet." He said. I nodded slowly and fell asleep.

XxX

The lady told us to follow her. She was a nurse. She led us down hallways and hallways. When we passed a sign that read 'Intensive Care' I beganvto worry. The nurse led us into a room. I went in first and the nurse flicked on the light. "Be gentle. He's very edgy." Nurse said. (Nurse obviously doesn't deserve a name. 

) There he was in the centre of the room. The thin Hospital blankets wrapped arohnd him, he sat up in bed kinda staring at the tv in the corner of the room. He didn't notice us. Sweeney Todd was on. I swear, he never blinked when watching that. Nurse walked in and turned off the tv, he shot her a glare. "You have visitors, Mr. Gold." Nurse told him. He looked at us and back at Nurse. "I'll be back in a couple minutes." She said and hurried out of the room.

I walked in closer to the bed, Trent was on the couch, he had been there already. Xander looked whiter than the white light you see when you die. Whiter than snow. The circles under his eyes were horrible, blacker than thunderclouds. Thick gauze was wrapped around his wrists stained red. Quinton was the first to notice the marks on his neck.

He wore a grey v-neck shirt with black and grey plaid pj pants. I could see all the trackmarks in his arm, scarring him. His hair was still super white. He looked ready for the morgue.

"You cheated on me?" Quinton asked. The heart moniter connected to Xander picked up pace. I notuced the leather shackles on his forearms connecting him to the hospital bed. He probably tried to run away. An IV Drip stuck in his hand and was full of a cloudy colorless liquid.

"I can explain, Quinton." Xander said, all emotion was away and completely erased from his voice.

"Bullshit." Quinton snapped crossing his arms, Zeke slapped his shoulder. Mom, Dad, and Grandparents were talking to Trent.

"I was drunk and on a shitload of drugs. I'm sorry, Quinton." Xander said, his voice was slow almost fuzzy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Quinton asked.

"Why didn't I die?" xander asked in annoyance.

"Becaude you promised." Quinton said sternly, Xander looked away with an angry expression.

"Xander, I'm happy you're alright." I said walking closer to him. "I was so scared you were going to be dea.ld." I whispered.

"I'm not happy." Xander muttered looking up at me.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I can't take it anymore." Xander whispered, his voice cracked. I took his hand gently, he looked up into my eyes. He gripped mine tifhtly and looked at Quinton then Zeke. "I've lost my mind." Xander said. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"No you didn't." Zeke said.

"I wan to disappesr. This is how I disappear. Death." Xander said.

"Why disappear? We all want you here." Quinton said, he obviously was over what Xander had done to him. Xander laid back and sighed.

"I don't want to be here." Xander breathed.

"Hey Alexander, are you alright/" mom asked.

"Everyone get the fuck out." Xander growled. "Except Gram." He added.

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A/N: so? What'd you think? Cimment on how I did and if you want more :) -Gerard