Augustine *continued*

chapter seven

Augustine was currently hanging up the painting from the day before in her studio before she heard a throat clearing; startling the brunette slightly only to narrow slightly at Josh who stood there with a gentle smile on his face. "Hey. . . You know yesterday the reason I didn't paint with you guys well; I thought maybe I owed you an explanation as to why I didn't. I gave up on painting when my father passed away. A very hard way that death took him and it was hard for me to ever pick up on what I loved doing." 

Augustine could see the clear tears in his eyes before shaking her head, "You don't have to tell me, Josh, if it hurts you. I mean of course it's going to hurt you but. . . you know what I mean." She spoke softly while walking toward him slowly. He shook his head while rubbing his neck, almost as a soothing way for him to stop the tears. "Not a lot of people know but my dad was a heavy drinker and one night he went to bed; everything was fine."

"It felt as if my entire world fell apart because he passed away while sleeping. He drank to much and it made his liver fail on him. I thought he quit, or at least that's what he made me think." He shook his head but the arms of the brunette had wrapped themselves around him. He was shocked at the kind gesture before wrapping his own somewhat muscular arms around her. 

"We lose the best kind of people in our lives. Some more than others and at those times, we just want to scream and let all our anger out on those we love most. We say things we don't mean, hurting those we care about and not realizing what happens in the end. Or we shut ourselves out from the world and we think we are better off that way. We're all just humans who make mistakes, Josh."

Augustine spoke softly while gripping his shoulders. Keeping eye contact with each other, she gave him a soft smile; one many don't see often. His heart had raced while listening to each word she had spoken before nodding his head. "Thank you, Augustine. You truly are an angel sent from heaven." 

With that, Augustine had sent him off to get them coffee while she made them something to eat. Her phone had gone off multiple times before answering it. "Hello?" 

"Hey, Augustine. It's a mom; we don't talk much anymore but I just wanted you to know that I left you a couple hundred in the bank and then I decided that I messed up big time. I'll be out of your life for however long you want me to be and I promise I won't contact you anymore. We had our differences in this world and Harper was right. You need those who treat you right in your life. Not me. I was never ready for you and nor will I ever be. I still love you and always have but I'm sorry."

With that, her mother hung up on her causing her to stare at her phone with such sadness on her face. Sure she was mad at her mom for everything she ever did to her but she still loved her. Victoria was never fit to be a mother; for simply she turned to alcohol at a young age after Augustine had turned one. Her father taking her after the divorce of her parents. Clearing her throat, she finished the food but setting Josh's out while setting hers in a container; not hungry after that phone call.

"I'm back!" came the cheerful voice of Josh, causing Augustine to quickly throw on a smile that was surely believable; unaware that the male who always admired her, knew that smile was just as fake as her happy persona. 

After Josh had eaten and left, Augustine was sat in the living room by herself while staring at the phone her mom once called her on, feeling quite bitter and the void emotion coming over her once more. She hated being alone in her house, as it instantly became infested with the monsters in the shadows. Standing up; she decided to go out for a walk, even though it was getting quite later out. 

Her converse had beaten against the ground with a softer thump while her breath came out with the chilled fog; stating that it was cold out. Maybe that's the reason she felt bitter and alone in the late morning as the cold always had a part in a play with certain things.  It was surely midnight at this point yet here she was; walking with her cardigan on.

Augustine had sat on the bench near the local park that was by now deserted only spotting the familiar brunette male that she saw at Lowes walking her way. "Well, this is funny." She spoke when he sat next to her, only for him to let out a snort somewhat gloomy. "Oh yes. Cause getting told what color paint would be better for your living room is oh so funny." He spoke quietly while running a hand through his hair. 

Augustine had let out a small laugh before shaking her head, "It helped, didn't it? Now you won't have a disgusting baby barf paint for your living room walls." She told him while nudging the male gently. "Well, that I will thank you for as my fiance absolutely hates green. She could be such a nag sometimes and honestly; I don't know how she can put up with me." 

 The male cleared his throat before holding his hand out; to introduce himself finally to the brunette beauty he met at Lowes. "I'm Holden Jones. You know, Local Lowes dude." He said introducing himself causing her to shake her head, grabbing his hand while shaking it gently. "I'm Augustine Claire, paint judger." She herself couldn't help but give a nickname with a snicker. 

"You know I noticed when our eyes met at the store, you had a certain emotion behind your eyes. It was pure sadness and you were void of happiness. Almost as if you hid behind the false persona, Augustine." His words came out while holding his own emotions in them. "Are you okay?" 

it kind of shocked both of them; Holden just releasing whatever he had on his mind within that moment and Augustine looking at him with her mouth gaped. 

Before Augustine knew it, she was bawling to a complete stranger. "I just don't know what to do. They want me to be happy and they want me to be someone I'm not; I know they don't mean too but I just need to be someone I want to be and that's someone who can't truly make her way in the world. I can't do it, Holden."  She told him while as he put an arm around her, feeling sympathetic. He felt the same way with his fiance; who always seemed to be controlling his future and trying to shape him into a perfect male but he wasn't. He had flaws. 

"We all have our ways of getting our lives fixed up and such. You will be okay, Augustine. For you have me."