Unrequited

Swan Song

I recall seeing flashes of blurry people standing over me. Their lips move but it sounds like I'm underwater. Everything is spinning and my head feels full of air as I'm ushered into what looks vaguely like the choir room. Everyone bustles about trying to help, but I'm struggling to breathe. They sit me down in a chair as they gather around worriedly.

I come back to my senses just as Artie speaks. "Never in the history of show choir competitions has anyone ever fainted."

"We got the juice, we got the juice!" Sam says as he hands it to me.

I don't feel thirsty, so I refuse. "No, I'm okay," I mumble.

"Drink the damn juice!" Kitty demands worriedly. I take it and sip on it. I start to feel less lightheaded.

Finn comes rushing into the group of people surrounding me. "Y/n, what happened?"

Ryder is next to me, rubbing my back soothingly as I try to take deep breaths. "She's been a nervous wreck all day. Earlier when she wasn't sitting with us I found her standing in the middle of the aisle crying while watching the Warblers," he explains.

"She had an anxiety attack?" Marley asks from behind me.

Santana speaks up. "I honestly thought Marley would've been the one to pass out with how Kitty's been pressuring her to become a 'rexie'."

"No, y/n talked to me and made me realize that I need help. I also ate breakfast that she made me so this wouldn't happen," Marley explains to Santana.

Mr. Schue comes rushing up to me and asks if I'm okay. I nod feebly. "Santana, Puck, you stay with y/n," he instructs, "the rest of you get back out there. Leaving the stage could immediately disqualify you."

The entire world crashes down on me when Sue tells us we've already lost to the Warblers. My whole body begins to shake and my breathing becomes shallow. I put my head in my hands as I start crying. We lost Sectionals because I couldn't keep myself together. I let Sebastian and everything else get inside my head. Everyone is going to hate me. Mr. Schue and Finn must be so disappointed.

"Where is she? What happened?" I hear Sebastian enter the room, frantically asking questions. The whole choir room goes into an uproar when they see him. Telling him to get out, that he shouldn't be here.

Kitty speaks above the noise. "This is all your fault!"

"Kitty, what are you talking about?" Finn asks confused.

She stands on a chair and points at Bash accusingly. "He came backstage before our set and got in y/n's innocent head!"

"It's true, we all saw you do it," Tina chimes in.

I sit up from my hands and look at everyone exhaustedly. "He didn't do anything," I say and everyone turns their attention to me. "It's not Sebastian's fault that I had a panic attack. I just got overwhelmed," I explain, leaving out the part where looking at him is what triggered it.

"Why are you even back here?" Ryder asks irritatedly. "Your team already won. Why don't you leave?"

Sebastian tries to come over to me, but Mike and Puck stand in his way. "I saw y/n faint, and I wanted to make sure she wasn't hurt," he says genuinely.

"I'm fine," I say trying to get up so I don't seem weak. Ryder steadies me by my waist and I glare at Sebastian. "That statement is hilarious coming from you, though."

Kitty holds her hands up as she looks confused. "Wait," everyone looks at her, "Did you two date?"

I avoid eye contact with everyone. He's the one person I never told anyone about. Not even Marley.