Just go with it! [Book 1]

Negative

The week drags by and I'm so glad it's finally Friday. Mom made plans for us tonight to watch movies and lounge around together. I haven't felt good all week and can't kick this fatigue. I normally would go out tonight but I think I need this night to relax. Kayden is going to hang out with Jason tonight, I know Jason could use the company. He's taking the break up bad, Dakota is going to her dad's for the weekend to get some space from all the craziness going on. I don't blame her, I would probably do the same thing if I was her.

I feel like this school year has flown by so far. I always wanted high school to fly by so I could head off to college and start my life, but now I want it to slow down. My acceptance of rejection letters should be coming in the mail any time now, I'm equally excited and super nervous about it. I've always wanted to go off to college, I just don't know now with mom and Kayden. I know they both won't hold me back from what I really want to do. I love them both so much for that. I finally hear mom drive up into the drive way, great timing for a distraction from my thoughts.

I open up the door for her "Hey ma! Ready for our movie night?" I say smiling at her. "Oh yeah, I been thinking about it my entire shift!" She says. She's got a bunch of bags she's carrying in. "Let me help you with those" I say grabbing them. She pulls them back "Its okay honey, it's just snacks for tonight!" She says smiling back at me. That's weird but whatever. "I'll get the living room ready and the movie set up then." I say. Might as well do that sense she won't let me help with the snacks. I go for a comedy "Superbad" could use some laughs. I head into my room to change into some pajama pants and a tank top. I figure I'll shoot Kayden a text

J: Hey babe have fun tonight gonna start a movie with my mom :-*
K: I'll try. Jason's not to fun lately , gonna try to bring his mood up. I love you enjoy your night with your mom.
J: I love you too. Good luck

I walk back into the living room and plop next to ma. She a tense this evening, work must have been tough. "What's wrong? You seem weird? Was work bad or something today?" I ask rubbing her shoulder. She smiles weakly giving a short laugh. "Work was actually really good today. We just need to have a serious talk." She states. My heart automatically starts beating like crazy and I'm now worried. "About what? Your making me nervous." I say. What could this be about, I wonder if it had to do with college or maybe my dad. She pulls me into a awkward hug before saying "Sweetheart I know you and Kayden have gotten really close fast. Don't get me wrong I love Kayden, but I just want to hear that you to are being safe. If you know what I mean." How awkward I must look shocked we don't really talk about my sex life. We have used protection just the one time we didn't but I used the plan b. I don't know why were talking about this tonight.

FUCK FUCK FUCK! New year's eve, I was super drunk I can't remember if we used a condom or he just pulled out. Ma must see the wheels turning in my head and the horror on my face. She gently squeezes my arm and walks out of the room for a minute before walking back in with one of the bags from earlier. "I want you to take this test Jessabell." She says softly. Oh my gosh this can't be happening I feel like I'm going to be sick. I can't be pregnant, not right now. I know I'm eighteen but fuck I just turned eighteen I'm still a teenager I can't handle this. "Sweetheart calm down, you haven't even taken the test yet. Let's start there before you have a panic attack." She says soothing. "Okay." Is all I can squeak out.

I grab a plastic cup and head to the master bathroom with my mom, I feel like my feet are full of lead. She opens up the package and places the test on the counter before turning around . I can't believe this is what our relaxing Friday night has turned into. I pee into the cup pull up my pajama pants and set it on the counter. My turns around and sets the test into the cup for me, she must have guessed I wouldn't have done it right away. She sets her phone timer for three minutes. "Everything is going to be okay sweety." She says. "I hope so ma" I say not so confidently. all I can think is Please be negative, Please be negative, Please be negative!

Thanks for being patient!! Sorry I have been updating so slowly will try and update faster <3