Letters To The Writer: Volume 1

February 7th

Help: I'm Sorry If....

I'm sorry if I'm mean to you Trust me I don't mean to be,

You're my sibling and honestly having you I'm so lucky,

I don't want it to seem like I don't like you anymore,

There's just a lot of stuff going on in school and even more.

But I want you to know I'll die for you because I love you,

And I don't want to lie to you because I love you.

I don't want you to see me as this inferior figure,

I want you to see me as the one who'll always protect his little sibling,

Want you to see the way I'm always there,

Even if the way I act isn't all that fair.

Im sorry if I'm a failure of a son,

I really don't try to be,

Trust me it isn't fun,

When you're mad especially.

But I want you to know it hurts me deep inside,

Constantly I stayed awake just to feel empty and cry,

Want you to know you're the best mother a child could ever have,

Just want you to know I want to go back to what we had.

I want you to know that I'm sorry.

And I know it doesn't mean that much,

Know that it's an action that really has a touch,

And I'll be sure to tell you that at least once a month.

I'm sorry if I don't show the love that Amani does,

But how's a seventeen year old supposed to tell his dad he loves him,

Guess I'll know when I soon have a loving kid,

But just want you to know I do that's how it's always been,

Just want to say I miss you when I don't see you,

And always get excited when I finally see you,

Just want to say sorry for being distant at times,

I have so much anger for kids I'm about to run out of time...

I'm sorry if I'm annoying or kind of boring,

Sorry if I make you feel like I need to be ignored and,

I want you to know my heart is always on the floor,

And it hurts much more when I'm dragging it through another fucking door,

Just give me time maybe I'll eventually heal,

Just hurts when you never get the time to heal,

It's like I'm always being hit by something as hard as steel,

Words do mean a thing! Was the person who made it up really for real?

I'm sorry if I'm just not a great human being,

Just need to let everyone know you'd be better off without me,

At least that is what I feel on a daily.... I'm sorry if I feel it fucking constantly.

—————————— Antonio Taveras
Help edition