Youth is like diamonds in the sun (on major hold)

I am close to the waterline...

This is all gonna be from Jenna's POV as she hasn't had a POV since it happened. Hope it gives you an insight into her emotions and mind. I obviously tried to write with sensitivity, please inform me if you think it's not. :) xxx

I don't want to think about it anymore, relive it. They all think I'm being strong, but I'm falling apart. I have to stay strong for him. I know he's blaming himself, he'll never blame anyone else. I don't understand that, it's more my fault than his. I wish he'd blame me, not himself. Blame me for not getting away. It's my fault, I should've stopped him. I can't stop thinking about how I could've stopped him, kicked him, bit him, punched him, ripped his fucking balls off. They all think I'm still asleep, all of them, except Harry, he's not here. He's out there with them. The police. The police who ask the questions, the ones who make me remember. Crap, do my parents know? 'Louis?' I whispered in the darkness of the room. No answer. 'Ari?' I whispered. No answer. 'Anyone?' I whispered, panicking. I don't want to be alone. Not tonight. 'Is there anyone in here?' I said, voice cracking. 'What's wrong?' Three voices said at once. 'Who is it?' I answered, relieved there was someone else here. 'Niall, Liam and Lottie,' Niall's soothing voice got closer. 'Where's everyone else?' I asked, as Liam flicked the light on and the room was illuminated, revealling only the four of us. 'They went to eat,' Lottie grinned reasuringly, sitting on the end of my bed. 'And you didn't go?' I laughed as Niall looked longingly at the door. 'I was asleep when they went,' Niall frowned. 'You can go if you want,' I smiled. 'I'll be fine.' 'You would be, we wouldn't,' Liam laughed, pointing at where we could see Harry talking to the police. 'Okay, question coming up,' I said, hesitantly. 'Okay, I'm worried,' Lottie replied. 'Has anyone contacted my parents?' I said hesitantly. 'Yes,' Liam nodded. 'They're on their way.' 'Great,' I winced. 'I'm going to sleep.' I rolled over. 'Anyone want food? Or drink,' Ariana declared as the door opened. 'I need coffee,' Harry's voice mumbled. I rolled back over to see him flop down in the chair next to the bed. 'Hey,' I sighed, taking his hand. 'Hey,' he sighed squeezing my hand. Zayn handed him a cup of coffee and he drank it quickly. 'Want a donught?' Jess offered me the box. 'Are you sure she's allowed them?' Dougie asked sleepily. 'I really don't care, I haven't eaten anything,' I shrugged, grabbing a donught from the box before Alice snatched them away. 'I'm so tired,' Rebecca mumbled from Dougie's lap. 'You can all go home if you want,' I said apologetically. 'I'm staying,' Harry declared, laying his head on the hospital bed next to me. 'You can all go, it's fine,' I nodded, combing my fingers through my fingers through Harry's dark curls. 'We're staying,' Louis confirmed this by wrapping his arm round Ariana's waist and pulling her onto his lap, in the chair on the other side of the bed.

Everyone else left, and within a few moments the room fell silent. My fingers were still sliding through Harry's hair when I saw two shadows pass by the window. There was a knock on the door. 'If that's the police tell them to go away,' Harry told Ariana as she skipped over to answer the door. 'You are so gonna wish it was the police,' she warned before starting to open the door. 'You have really soft hair,' I said to Harry as I absent mindedly played with his hair. 'That's what ASDA anti dandruff shampoo and conditioner does for you,' he replied instantly. I giggled, as the snappy comeback reminded me of before, before it all went wrong. 'JENNA!' My mum almost screamed. 'Sssh, it's almost midnight,' I hissed at her as she descended on me. Harry tried to move away but I clung to him, I really could not deal with this on my own. 'I can't believe it, what happened?' My mum (who shall be refered to as "mum" from now on), quizzed as she pushed Harry out of the way, sitting where his head had lay 30 seconds before. 'I really don't want to talk about it,' I sighed, pulling Harry closer. 'We're gonna go get some fresh air, does anyone need anything whilst we're gone?' Louis was pulling Ari out of the door. 'I'm alright ta,' Harry and I replied in unison. I grinned at Harry who was smiling slightly, eyes fixed on my parents. 'Can I have a coffee?' Mum asked. 'Have mine,' Harry passed her his second coffee, which was mostly full, with a smile. 'Oh, thank you,' Mum said, taken aback. 'It's black,' Harry confirmed the unasked question. 'John?' Louis turned to my dad. 'I'm okay thank you,' my dad answered. Louis and Ariana disappeared. The urge to shout them back was hard to resist when my parents' questioning glares turned to me. 'You have to tell us what happened,' my dad said softly, before my mum could begin to rant. 'I will,' I answered honestly. 'Just not now.' My mum sighed in exasperation, 'He knows.' I glanced at Harry before replying. 'He found me, along with my two best friends who just left. I think he has a right to know,' I snapped angrily. 'I was raped, then the rapist knocked me unconciouss. That's what happened. And you know what the worst thing is? I know the person who did it,' I said, slightly calmer than before. I watched my parents have that look conversation. You know the one, where they discuss everything and nothing with about three different looks and don't realise their kids understand every 'word'. A nurse appeared at the door, 'Erm, we have to do a few tests on Jenna.' 'What kinds of tests?' Mum demanded. 'The tests we do on rape victims,' the nurse shifted uncomfortably. 'Alright, lets go,' I climbed out of bed and realised I was in my pjs that I'd taken for camping. I glanced at myself then Harry, he nodded slightly and I felt the colour heat up my face.

'We recommend only one person come in with the patient,' the nurse said apologetically as Harry and both my parents stood to come with me. 'We normally recommend a female, but it's up to the patient.' I groaned inwardly as all eyes turned to me. If I choose Harry, it's gonna be so much easier and less awkward but my mum will hate me forever. My dad, love him but no way. My mum, she'll just moan, or try and get me to confide in her. I love my mum but she bugs me, hating Harry all the time and just generally doing annoying things. Desicions desicions. 'Can bring two?' I asked, biting my lip. 'I guess that should be okay,' the nurse shrugged. 'Daddy, there's donoughts in that box and the remote's over there,' I gave him a peck on the cheek and lead Harry and my mum out of the room after the nurse. 'Probably should've put some shoes on,' Harry pointed to my feet. 'I would've done, except there were none, as all my clothes and shoes and everything was gone. That reminds me, where's my phone?' I answered. 'The police have it,' Harry smiled sadly. 'Why do the police have my phone?' I asked. Harry was silent, though his hand squeeed mine tighter. 'Harry Edward Styles, why  do the police have my phone?' I repeated, as we stoppped outside a room. 'I had to tell them,' Harry mumbled. 'Why didn't you just say that?' I sighed, rolling my eyes. 'Come on,' the doctor, a woman with short brown hair which contrasted greatly with her pale skin, sighed impatiently. My mum herded me and Harry into the room. There was a single bed,  a sink, table and charts. 'Lay down on the bed,' the doctor instructed me. Harry followed me, and stood next to me, holding my hand throughout the entire examination.

When they had finished the physical examination, they didn't tell me anything, the doctor asked to have a word with me, one on one, 'I'd like to have a talk with Jenna alone, if that's okay. You can wait in the relatives room next door.' My mum huffed and left the room. I looked at Harry pleading him to stay, but he kissed my forehead and left the room. The doctor pulled up a chair, and I crossed my legs on the bed. 'I mean this in no way other than intrest, but you seem awfully normal, for want of a better word, to say you were raped and knocked out a few hours ago,' the doctor leaned forward, smiling invitingly. 'I guess it's how I'm dealing with it. Trust me, I may look like I'm coping but I'm not,' I answered, returning the smile. 'How do you know that boy?' The doctor asked, intrest pooling her voice. 'Harry? He's my boyfriend, thirteen months,' I smiled, proud of him. 'And I understand the boy who raped you, he was your ex?' 'Ex, from just under 3 years,' I replied, smile faltering. 'He wouldn't leave me alone for the past few weeks, I didn't think it was going to be anything, he's done it before, obviously not this but the weird stalky thing.' 'Oh?' 'Just after we split up. Long story,' I sighed. 'Okay,' The doctor smiled. 'Just a couple more questions.' 'Okay,' I nodded, encouraging her to go on. 'Are you sexually active?' 'Huh?' I asked, momentarily confused. 'Are you a virgin?' The doctor smiled. 'Oh yeah sorry blonde moment,' I laughed. 'I'm not a virgin no.' 'Can you tell me when you lost your virginity?' The doctor asked. 'Erm, Friday night,' I answered quietly. 'So you weren't a virgin when you were raped?' 'No.' 'Okay, one more question. Normally rape victims are jumpy around females, let alone males. You seem to be at ease with both, I was told you had some friends of both genders in your room earlier, do you not feel threatened by the boys?' The doctor made eye contact. 'No, not them. They're just they guys. I know they'd never hurt me. I guess they're more like family than friends. I just, I don't know. They make me feel safe ya know?' I looked up from my hands to the doctor's face. She tried to look like she understood. 'Alright, I'll give you an example, earlier when I woke up, the room was dark. I knew Harry wasn't there so I called out for Louis. He didn't answer, so I called out for Ariana. I was so scared that I was on my own. When I asked if there was anyone there and Niall, Liam and Lottie said they were, I felt safe again. I'm more scared of being alone than them,' I explained. 'Ah I understand,' the doctor smiled, understanding flooding her face. 'Have you had any kind of physical contact with any of them since the incident?' The doctor asked. 'Apart from holding a couple of hands, no,' I answered. 'Okay, we're done,' The doctor grinned. 'You can go back to bed now.' 

After thanking the doctor. Harry carried me down the corridor back to my room, hospital floors are cold alright? leaving my mum behind as she was talking to the doctor. Harry lay me down on the bed and tried to move away but I told him to stay on the bed with me. My dad gave me a your mother will kill you both look but smiled as I curled up, head on Harry's chest and fell asleep.

So my five minutes, turned into a few hours. What can I say, my parents arrived home from a concert and they brought food. ;) 

I'd just like to mention the title of the last chapter (because I'm too lazy to go edit it), watch out for that bitch called Karma, it's a lyric from one of my favourite songs, it wasn't meant to reflect on the storyline of the chapter. Some of the lyrics I pick do reflect their chapter, but they are normally obvious. Hope it didn't mislead or offend anyone xxx