The Night Before

6. Misery

    Monica left the nursing home that morning and went home. Paul would be over to pick her up around 8:00, or once their performance ended. As soon as she got home she fell on the couch and cried for her grandfather. She was able to collect herself for a moment and paced back and forth around the flat sniffling and smoking a cigarette to keep her calm. Paul is going to be here to pick me up later today, I could try to contact him now at the studio but it might fluster him before the show. I’ll just have to wait for him to get here, and come up with a good explanation.

    That was the best plan she could think of, but there was no way she could go out to dinner tonight, she’d end up crying in the restaurant and that is no way to spend an anniversary. This day was supposed to be perfect, she was so excited, and now she couldn’t bear the thought of going anywhere. She couldn’t help but feel that this was going to crush Paul, she knew how excited he was.

    She threw on a white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, then sat on the couch trying to keep herself from sobbing any more. She ran through the possible scenarios in her head preparing herself for the worst. How is Paul going to react? Will he be angry? Sad? She wanted to hope for him being understanding but she knew how excited he was for tonight and it didn’t seem possible.

    She watched the clock anxiously as the hours ticked on by. She really needed a drink, but she knew she shouldn’t get back into that habit so instead she continued to smoke as she watched the clock, 5:00… 6:00... 7:00...Only an hour of waiting to go... 8:00. Oh no, it was almost time, now all she could do was watch the door, anytime now she would hear a knock. She chewed on her nails nervously until suddenly, there came the dreaded knock.

    She jumped up and ran to the door but hesitated to open it. She finally plucked up the courage and opened up to see Paul’s smiling face. Damn, he looks good, She thought. He was wearing a tux that fit perfectly and was finished off by a perfect bow tie, his hair was combed which was unusual for him.

    Paul’s smile faltered as he observed Monica. Her t-shirt was stained with tears and she was wearing sweatpants instead of a dress, something wasn’t right. He looked at her face which wore a frown and held puffy red eyes. “Why aren’t you ready? What’s the matter?” He asked, more confused than concerned.

    “Paul… I’m really sorry…” Monica tried to begin but she felt tears coming to the surface again.

    “Are you canceling?” He asked looking hurt.

Monica just nodded slowly, “I… I can’t…”

Paul interrupted, “Monica this is our anniversary! What could be so important?” He was obviously irritated as he stared at her in disbelief.

    “I just really can’t go out tonight I’m sorry…” She didn’t know why but she couldn’t allow herself to bring up her grandfather, at this point she thought it would just sound like an excuse, and the way Paul was acting she knew he wouldn’t be as sympathetic as she needed him to be. “If you want to stay, we can talk about this…” She tried to reason.

    Paul suddenly became defensive, it was clear that even if Monica wanted to mention her grandfather he wouldn’t listen he was already too set in his anger, “No! There’s nothing to talk about! This is our anniversary, this means so much to me, I thought it meant something to you! Obviously I was wrong, I just can’t believe you right now!”

    He looked at her with such disbelief and resentment that she felt herself start to sob again. “I’m really sorry just let me expl…” Paul cut her off, “No, there’s no need. Now I really see how important this relationship is to you, I need to leave.” He turned around beginning to walk away.

    “No! Please Paul! Just wait!” She called after him, but it was too late, he got in his car and it drove away.

    She slammed the door and ran to her couch burying her sobbing face into a pillow. There were so many emotions and thoughts in her mind it was overwhelming. She felt sorry for making Paul feel so hurt. She felt angry for how he didn’t even consider her feelings before storming off. She felt scared that this would be the end for them. It was too much, she thought she might burst. She needed someone to lean on, someone to listen to her, someone to hold her and tell her it was going to be alright. She would have liked for it to be Paul, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen. She needed Ringo, he was always there for her, she just hoped he would be home. She knew Paul well enough to know that when he was upset he didn’t go home which was a good thing, that meant that if she went to find Ringo at the flat, she wouldn’t find Paul instead. He most likely went to the pub for a drink, I could use a drink, she thought craving the cradle of alcohol. she shook her head, Ringo, I need to get to Ringo.