who am I

lost

Ever thing is the same I am sleeping in my usual bed in my usual spot dad sleeping in his bed mom sleeping on the couch. My dog is laying down on the wood floor. It's quite super quite all I can hear is my dad snoring and the sounds your fingers make when they are typing. Ever thing sounds and seems perfect, Right?? Truth is tho for me no Ever thing is different. Feels like I am lost, except how can I be lost when I don't even know were I am supposed to be in life, so how can I be lost when I don't know even know were I am supposed to be going. Turns out you can feel lost! I have been lost for my hole life. Last night was the same as thus night except i got a phone call 7 at night telling me that one of my best friends died..... my best friend was diagnosed with type 4 brain cancer and leukemia. When you hear them words you don't know what to do everyone acts different, some cry, some don't be live it,some run or do sothin to keep them busy, then there's me I am the type of person that just freeze I didn't know what to do my eyes started feeling hot I wanted to just give up at the moment, after my friends mother hung up I just sat on the ground crying trying to convince myself that it was a prank, that she would text me back, it's been officially 24 hours since I found out and still no text tealing me it was a joke, none at all. It's like your waiting for something you know your never going to get.