dear father
people often say a father is a daughters first love.
but, for me
you're my first fear
for all those times you tried to hit me
all those times you put me down
all those times you almost killed me
and all those times you didn't let me live
how can you call that love?
when you always talk bad about me
when you always say I'm wrong
when your ego and authority takes over
sometimes I wish I wasn't your blood.
a parent is supposed to be their for their child and help them create the best version of themselves.
but all you did was put me down.
for how Can I believe I'm pretty,
when a young age you would make me a fool for my looks and weight.
how Can I believe I'm safe,
when I don't feel safe in our house
not safe, not relaxed
nothing at all
but what hurts me the most is that I can't be who I am.
not even close.
if you did,
I wouldn't be your daughter or son
I'd be nothing at all.
it hurts because i do love you!
i respect you overall.
you're the reason I'm alive
even if sometimes I wish I was not
but you shaped me to who I am today, yet
I am not even close to your idealism
not at all.
I guess that's what happens when your parents didn't want you since the start
but as sometimes people say,
your child is a reflection of yourself.
they grow to what you showed them too
but once again I'll prove the world wrong
because I don't want to be that person
who you rejected me for
who you wish to be me
and I know for a fact, that I'm not alone.
there's millions of boys and girls alone
whose fathers or mothers don't show nothing at all but hate
that they don't feel love
nor love themselves at all.
for how could they love themselves,
when no one at all does?
for I wish one day, that not only me
but so will they,
will be able to come out
and not live in sadness
not live in fear
