Dear diary, these days that i have to see my ex that seems happy is hard. I am not happy. I put a smile on my face at school but when I get home i break down into the tears and I cant stop crying. I think I am getting stronger. I am finally learning how to deal with a heart break. She broke up with me I think 2 days ago, and the first day was the hardest. When I got home I fell to the floor and couldn't get up until 3 hours later. I have cried my eyes dry. Last night I cried myself to sleep, this morning I couldn't get up from bed. I got up at 7:20 when I have to leave for the bus stop at 7:30. I had to rush to slick my hair to the side and I forgot to change my clothes from the night before so I had to wear the clothes i wore the night before when I went to STEM NIGHT at school. To be honest the only reason I went to STEM NIGHT was to see my ex. It is impossible to get over her. I take every opportunity to see her or talk to her or what ever. Yesterday I embarrassed myself just to see her. I looked out the open window of my classroom and I said something about blue bananas. Her response was "Stop I am try to do an assignment." I still looked out the window and i purposely sit on left side of the table so I can see her. Yes i know that sounds kind of creepy but I dont really care.
Lets talk about today. I had a substitute called Ms. White, I dont really like her because she makes us read and I am a funny person (i think) so of course I have to start hysterically laughing at a not so funny book. "What are you reading?" "Oh im sorry its just funny." "what book are you reading?" "The plot to kill Hitler." "You should not be laughing at a book so serious." I started to laugh again. I was laying on the floor with my feet on a chair. "Go back to your seat." "Me?" I asked put my hands on my collar bone. "Yes you." I got up and threw my book on my desk and crossed my arms. The person sitting next to me is really funny and she said a joke and I started to laugh so hard I fell to the floor and hit my head on the Guinea pig cage. I could tell the sub was mad. I got up and sat down again and started to laugh again. I make subs so mad. But it was funny. At recess this dumb person called Rose was suggesting things that I had already tried and didnt work. She got my ex pissed off and then I got sad when we got back to class. We read this article in class about the titanic and I am very interested now. People paid thousands of dollars for a surviving titanic cracker. Like no hoe. Who would pay hundreds of thousands of dollars just for a damn cracker. Its gonna get hella moldy. This one violin from the titanic is worth 1.2 million dollars. I was like dang. So at the end of the day I dared my friend, Ashton to get off the bus at the first stop (our stop is the second stop) he ran off and the bus driver made him get back on the bus. I got off the bus and was walking home when i hear a loud honking noise. I looked behind me and it was my nana. I ran home and grabbed my basket ball stuff and a pickle (for the drive) when we pulled onto a street she started talking about me. My mom had told her that I wanted to be called "Kyle" and "He and Him" It was true but I wanted to tell her on my own. I dont remember what she said because I wasn't really listening but all I remember is her saying "Every kid goes through phases. Just give yourself time and let Kaylee figure herself out." I had already figured myself out. I was very upset because I dont need other peoples opinions. So now I am just typing this out. Well there is nothing more to talk about. I will write on Monday if I remember.
