Dear diary, today was an okay day. I mean it was like an ordinary day.
wake up. get on the bus. get to school. wait for blue bus. hang out with friends. *bell rings* go to class. write in my planner. go to gym. wait for lunch. go to recess. wait for the end of the day.
It seems boring but all the things in between make me happy. I like making the people that sit next to me laugh because its really funny because they will add on the joke. I am exited for tomorrow because its valentines day and I have a field trip to the Portland philharmonics or something like that.
So today in class I nailed my work. Well I failed my math test but i dont really care. Today is like the first day that I actually finished all my work. I turned it all in, passed almost all of it. And till had fun in class. Its funny how that works. get all the work done then go have fun. That is the best thing I've learned all week.
AT RECESS: I had a lot of fun at recess. First I jump roped (then people were cheating) and then I just did what I wanted to do for once. I didnt have to worry about anybody telling me what to do or anything.
GETTING IN TROUBLE: Well yes i did get in trouble today but its okay. So I was just sitting in class right and then BOOM the teacher calls on me for a math problem. Of course im like "Destiny whats the answer?" And she's like "Umm I dont know." And im like "Umm I dont know the answer. Then the teachers like "Well you should pay attention.
DEPRESSION: the depression has taken over and I have nobody. I have nobody to talk to anymore and nobody in my entire family will accept me. I think both my aunts will and my baby cousin but there not as big as my mom, dad, and grandparents. I feel like everything is going wrong. Like I have nothing good anymore. I cant even have the person I love most in my life. I think about everything that's bad in my life and all the emotions wont stop. I wish it would stop. But at the same time I dont want them to stop. Now I know I am not going through this pain alone. Even though I dont like talking about my pain I know I should. My mom is making me see a councilor and I dont want to. I like to keep the words to express my feelings in my mind, somehow when someone asks me to explain it I do. I dont know why, I think its because I like to do what makes people happy or let them know because I dont like when people dont tell me stuff.
LOVE: Love always ends up hurting me in the end. The person who hurt me the most is the person who I will always forgive and always love more than anyone else. I dont understand how that works. But i know that love tears you apart but also keeps you alive. Its funny because all the people that I loved most have at one point not accepted me or left me. Love will mess with you until your broken all the way. I cannot deal with all this. Why cant people just accept other people. They are like you but different. We are all people. All I want is acceptance from my family. But I know that it isn't gonna happen. So I have everything planned out for my future so I dont have to wait till I'm 18 to "change"
-KYLE
