No i didnt write yesterday because I was too busy. Well today I'm not as busy as I was yesterday, well I am but I just have free time right now.
PHYSICAL PAIN: today I woke up with pain in my chest, I wanted to cry because it hurt so bad. All day it wouldn't go away. It still wont. I can barely breathe but i am not telling anyone that I cant breathe.
NO SCHOOL: Well there was school today but I skipped because I had plans, of course I ruined the 'skyzone' trip because I couldn't jump due to my chest pain. ugh school would have been so much more fun than waiting 4 hours for my nana to get her hair colored.
ME: Today was supposed to be a break for me, to have fun, smile, and laugh. But I cried in the car because I was hurting (physically hurting). I dont like having a lot of attention and I get a lot of attention in my family. I dont want all the attention all the time. I like to be alone and I like to talk to myself rather than somebody else, which people dont understand. If I tell myself stuff I dont have to worry about others telling adults the way I feel unless I want to.
MY FUTURE: I already know my whole future. If it gets ruined then I have no future. I planned out everything.
MY PLANS WHEN IM 18: I have all my plans when I turn 18 all planned out: 1. Ask my girlfriend to marry me. 2. start testosterone. 3. graduate from high school. 4. go to college. I have more ideas of what I will do after I'm 18. But it all just depends on how all of the things above work out.
THINKING: All I could think about today was my ex. For real though all I could think about was how much I miss her and how much I wish she was mine. I cant get her out of my mind, ever. I fall in love with her every time I see her, its so weird. I am weird.
DATING: I swear I am too cute, the girls cant stay away from me. I mean I get at least 4 girls a day blowing up my phone asking me to date. I am like "no." and their like "why not?" and im like "bc i dont wanna date you, I made a promise, and i dont like online dating." For real though its so dumb. If they knew me in person they'd be like "oh hell no, I dont like this boy no more, he's way to dumb." Like how can any girl even like me? I mean yeah i guess I'm cute and yeah I guess I'm funny but I'm dumb, I have problems, I'm depressed, I'm trans, ect.
MIDDLE SCHOOL THOUGHTS: Even though I am in 5th grade I have to choose my path to get to college. itech or Mc. Laughlin middle school. I dont want to go to I-tech preparatory for a few reasons. Mostly because I hate working with people and my friends aren't going there. I am 101% sure I am NOT signing up for i tech. The reason I like Mac (McLaughlin middle school) is because some of my friends and I (from previous years) had made promises that we'd meet again at Mac.
OLD FRIENDS: My old best friend were Aidan, Jimena, Juan, Saleana, Athziri, and Micah. Micah moved 2 years ago to Idaho, so he obviously cant go to mac. But hopefully my old bestfriends and current bestfriends all get along pretty good and become one big squad. I know that they all probably have a new squad but even they can join the big squad. This is my plan for middle school.
CURRENT BESTFRIENDS: I have my new group of friends, their even more lit than my old group of friends, (except for Athziri and Saleana they were pretty lit.) My group of friends are: Miranda, Dulce, Marley, Rose, Angelita, Daniela, (sometimes Gloria). even though my boy bestfriend doesn't hang out with us its okay, because he can just copy me when I'm copying my neighbor. That's basically the only reason he hangs out with me in class. He used to be in our group but he left for his "friend" Ashley. I think he has a crush on her and she has a crush on him and they wont admit it.
SOCCER FRIENDS: i have different types of friends. One of my favorite groups of friends is my soccer friends. Their names are: Ashlee, Oliv, Bella, and Shakira. Even though I have more friends there that's my squad and we tear up that field and we make our coach put us on the field at the same time so we can score (because we're the best people on the team). Usually we get at least 3 goals a game and when Bella's the goalie nobody scores. Bella and I are friends mostly because we are both goalies and we are both different than the rest of the girls on the team.
SOCCER SQUAD: My soccer squad is the littest squad you could ever see. For one we are hella funny, for two we're hella good at soccer, for three we're all hella weird and different. I love my soccer squad (as friends). My soccer friends are so nice (unless we miss the goal, that's why i like defense because I dont have to worry about them yelling at me, Ashlee is the only one who wont yell at people.)
PEOPLE I DONT LIKE: The people I dont like at school are: Gorge (which is messed up because hes my bestfriends boyfriend), Daniel Pina and his group of friends, and Marcelo. The people I dont like on my soccer team are: Miranda G., Ella, and Olivia. Miranda G. and Olivia are SOO RUDE. And I dont like Ella because she makes us lose every game.
i'm sorry this was such a long entry I just had a lot on my mind about people and soccer.
