in the morning, i died twice then surrendered to bed rest /
i know now there's nothing left to make right /
can you imagine making a contradiction out of yourself /
from "love you" to "hate you" /
then locking yourself in the depth of your mind /
i woke up as an indie song i never liked /
dusk has fallen and i can hear it on repeat, "we're all gonna die" /
so as the wind whips around the empty fences of my chest in my lonely night /
i wonder if i could have you over one last time /
because there's nothing wrong and nothing left to make right /
but the lights are blinding and i'm tired of lying on the floors that feel like ice /
my handwriting's getting worse i can barely read it with my eyes/
and i can hardly relate now to other people's lines and music and lies /
the world feels weird tonight /
could i be lost somewhere or had i been left behind? /
no, i'd just been an idiot for a bit and lost a couple of friends in a singular night /
but it's alright /
yeah, it's alright /
because there's nothing wrong and nothing left to make right /
and i don't think it would hurt anyone if you stayed one more night /
we can talk about dying and death /
and maybe a bit about you and more about myself /
and how i'm never changing because of the devil in my head /
and perhaps, how i'm never saying sorry again because this is who i am /
and to call it a senseless pretext for my behaviour wouldn't make a change /
because to say that i'd regret it would be too sad /
because i don't /
so go on and slag me off with your friends /
tell them i'm horrid and how i like pushing your buttons and getting shit through your head /
because i'm an apathetic, pretentious sham constantly contradicting everything said /
tell them all you did was love me like a fool and ignore my mistakes /
while i always wanted to make you die and hate looking in your face /
and since it's practically over now, i'll have you know that i still hate /
your good personality and your wonderful, useless and pointless ways /
to make me feel better about myself as though it was an effective method to block out a phase /
by talking about me behind my back after denying all the facts that i'd state /
because the problem is that i know that i'm shit and nobody can make it change /
but you're too good to realise you were only casting for the "good friend" role to play /
in front of the impulsive, manipulative, masochistic kid that's sick-in-the-head /
so you gave yourself something to respond with to everything i said /
like, "fuck you /
i cared too much about you /
all i ever did was love you too much /
you keep on hurting me /
and now it's enough" /
everything's wrong now /
and there's nothing left to make right /
i wouldn't hesitate in saying /
i'm quite elated that i'd gotten you out of my sight /
