Floor 44

Chapter 7: Conflicted

It's now the weekend and I spent last night at Dylan's. I slept in his bed but we didn't sleep together. He held me all night. Let me tell you i was so drained after dinner. So just being able to cuddle meant more to me then he could know.

I turned to face him. He must still be sleeping. I never felt his arms  tighten back up. I placed a soft kiss on his lips and whispered,"How did I get so lucky." He started smiling and said "I'm the lucky one."

My heart melted I swear to you. In that moment I knew I was talking for Dylan and I was falling hard. But you know what it was ok. I wasn't scared. Which that was a first for me. He made me feel so safe. He's becoming my safe haven.

"Babe," he says grogily. "Hmm," I say as a play with his hair. "Do you think you'll ever talk to your family again?" he asks. I shutter a breath. I never really thought about it. Sure I miss my family like crazy and more and more everyday. But when I left I wanted a fresh started. That included closing out my family.

I was so broken that I shut all my emotions down. Untill last night I didnt really think about them. I started crying. He pulled me in to his chest as i sobbed. "Shhh its ok Ava let it out." he says in a low husky tone. But it's soothing at the same time to me. He continues rubbing my back till my crying subsides.

"I'm sorry," I say almost embarrassed by what just happened. "There's nothing to be sorry babe. The strongest people still cry. You cant hold it in or it will eat you alive," he reassures me.

"Trust me I know. When my friend passes away I went through a phase myself. I hated everyone and everything. I didn't understand how he could be taking away from me. He was like a brother to me. One say we were playing baseball and he just collapsed," he stops for a moment. Almost like he was reliving it again.

I hug him tight to reassure him that I'm here. But even though we both opened up to eachother. I still have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind. Like Dylan is comfort. Dylan is safe. Dylan is my safe haven. Where Mr.Travis is exciting. Mr.Trwvis is thrilling. Mr.Travis is thrilling.

But even with that would it be worth it? Would it be worth it to still pursue these feelings I have. Feelings of adventure and forbidden love. Or do I take the safe route and for the guy who just opened his heart to me. That I was comfortable enough to share my last with? What do I do??

Even laying here holding this amazing man i still have these feelings and thoughts of another. I feel like I don't know what to do. I think I need a woman's opinion.

I sigh as a sign of being emotionally exhausted with all these back and forth thoughts in my mind. "What's the matter babe?," Dylan asks me sweetly whilehe places a kiss on my head.

I shake my head. "It's nothing babe just a lot of things to process." I say. Which was true I was trying to figure everything out. He nods his head like he was agreeing to it as well.

"I'm gonna get going and meet up with the girls from work." He nods his  head me and gives me a quick kiss as i get and get dressed.

I got to my apartment and get ready. I message a couple girls from working seeing if they wanna grab some coffee or something to eat. I need another woman's opinion. I need to know I'm crazy for thinking way or if I should try it out.

Four months later:

After that visit with the girls four months ago I became even mpre conflicted in my own thoughts and feelings.

It's now at the point where i just work go home maybe hook up with Dylan and do a netflix & chill other nights.

I've also got into the gym and have been taking some self defense classes after I was robbed one night when I was walking home. Dylan didn't feel good that day so I didn't have a ride. So i walked and end up beat up and robbed. Thank l god it wasn't worse. All they left me with was a busted lip. I mean it went through worse but it hurt all the same.

These thoughts  still cloud my mind.  But lately I have been even dreaming of Mr.Travis. I dont know what to do? I mean the more I think of him the mpre I crave him. His touch, lips. Just everything about him.  He screams danger.

But that's a danger I'm willing to try right?I mean I'm not commited to Dylan. Even if we didn't work out I would consider him a friend. Also I miss my family terribly. Untill talking to Dylan about them that night at dinner I realize how lonely I've been without them these last 6 months. I know it's doesn't feel that long. But it has been 6 months.

Six months of meetings and silent sexual tension with Mr.Travis. Six months living next to Dylan and sharing a almost dating relationship. But it's become more like a friend's with benefits.

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The Next Day

Knock Knock

"Come in," he says.
I open the door and I notice hes on the phone. He gestures for me to have a seat. I close the door and sit down in black leather chair thats in front of his dark cherry mahogany desk.

As I watch him play with his tie and talk. I can't help but imagine him taking me right here and right now on his desk.

I so desperately wanna feel him between legs again as I arch my back in pleasure. All I can imagine is his tongue as I watch him lick his lips. I notice he can see me getting flustered.

I started to fidget a little and cross my right leg over my left as I take my vest off. He staring at me puzzled the moment. I mouth "I'm a little hot." He nods and keeps talking on the phone.

I walked to the window in his office and see he has the same view as I do in mine. I heard him hang up the phone which snapped me out of my thoughts. Before I could turn around I feel him graze my neck with his fingers. Oh that touch. That touch that I crazed. That touch that burned like a flame when I felt it against my skin.

If that wasn't enough I felt his lips press against the sweet spot in my neck. I let out a soft moan. I feel him smirk against my skin.

"It's good to know I still have the same effect on you." He says as his breath is now warming against my skin.

I have to collect my thoughts for a moment. I wanted to confirm your meeting for 2 O'clock. I feel him nod.

"I need you," he says between kissingand nibbling at my neck. "I need you too," I moan in a whisper. He chuckles and says "In time I will have you again."

I don't know what but that made me a little sad. In time. I mean really in time!!!! What kind of bullshit was that after he's getting my panties wet just from barely touching and kissing me.

"I have a business trip and I need you with me," he says to me as he turns me. With out asking for any other info I just shake my head yes.

He smirks and then crashes his lips on mine. He grips my hair tight. At first it hurts but this dominate thing he does to me has it turn me on more. It's like the more he tugs the less painful it becomes. Then he reaches his hand between my legs. Without even going further then my panties. He can feel my wetness. He lets out a groan and says ," This for me..." I didn't know how to respond. Like can't u tell your the one that caused it.

He grips my hair as he bites my bottom lip hard. Hard enough for me to wince at the pain. "Answer me..." He demands.

I whimper and barely let out a answer. "Yes..." I say in a whisper. "It's all yours" he groans again and throws me agaisnt the desk. Just as he was about to open his pants theres a knock at the door.

"Just a minute," he says sternly. "This isn't over.." He whispers against my lips while grabs the back of my head tightly to face him. I nod my head and fix myself as he does the same. I'm surprised how quickly he could look like he wasn't about to fuck me on his desk. But I'm over here flushed looking like I got caught out. I walk out withmy head down while John for the IT department came for his 2 O'clock meeting. Right on time might I add.

I walk back to my office and get everything situated for the business trip. That's when I see it.

"No no no... this can't be..." I say to myself. " California we are going to California." I say in a shocking manner. I mean it's Los Angeles. But that's not far from my family. Maybe I can find a way for Mr.Travis to let me visit my family. I will just have to wait and see I guess.