Realm of the Malach

Chapter 12: Kailash Remembers

The encampment was almost as Kailash remembered from his youth. Apart from the houses retrofitted to current tastes and several additions to accommodate newcomers, everything else remained comfortingly the same. Seeing her here flooded him with memories of countless winters they had spent together as children. It was the only time in his life he could recall feelings of true happiness. From the moment they met, they were inseparable. They had explored every inch of the ravine as young children playing in the streams, riding the wild horses, tracking down elusive foxes. When Nour and Imani were busied by meetings of the Sanctuary's Council of Elders, they would sneak away to the ruins which was forbidden to children though they never understood why. Along the way they would inspect the littered bones of animals picked clean by vultures and condors. In the evenings, when the tribe was deep in discussion, they would build a fire by a boulder and read to each other, keeping warm from the heat of the stone. Kailash grew to hate the nightfall when Nour called him in for the evening and Imani did the same with her. Kailash always hurried to bed, for time away from her passed more quickly in slumber. Mornings were the most magical when they were together again in a world of their own making. But what he hated most of all was the end of winter when he would have to leave her and leave this safe haven. It never did get easier, even as they got older. The year in between their winters were long and arduous. Once he asked Nour why she stayed with Hadifa and not him.

"Because you are my son, Kailash, and a boy belongs with his mother," she would say, and add, "Don't worry my darling, the winter will be here soon." when she could see the pain on his face.

But the winters never came soon enough. The years went by and each winter they were together it was as if no time had passed between them at all. Their conversations continued from the ones they had the year before and would blossom into new topics of discussion. In their teenage years they were allowed to explore the landscape beyond the encampment. Once, the Elders permitted them to trek the higher foothills of the volcano's glacier. Kailash would never forget the scared and helpless look on her face when she slipped and fell into the crevasse. She misjudged her step and before he knew what he was doing Kailash leaped the distance between them and grabbed on to her arm. Dangling in the abyss of crystal blue ice, she looked at him and without words he swore he heard her speak. "Kailash, don't let me go." With all his strength he hoisted her over the jutting lip of the crevasse. Realizing what had just transpired, their companions flocked to attend to her. Kailash removed himself from the crowd, crying the tears of fear as though he had lost her. Only then did Kailash understand the depth of his love. Best of all were the nights of eclipse when everyone camped beneath the stars warmed by a bonfire so large its flames seemed to light the darkness of the sky. She sat cross-legged next to him as Hadifa embarked upon the telling of his tallest tales. They fell asleep side by side on their beds of moss, swaddled under layers of alpaca blankets. He had just fallen asleep when he felt the slumping of a searching hand on his chest. Alarmed, he turned to her and asked what was the matter. "Nothing," she whispered with her eyes still closed, "I just need to know you're there." He took her hand and held it in reassurance. In this way they slept soundly until morning. Nearing their age of fruition when they would be assigned their Houses, their time together was more structured but no less interesting. Mornings were spent in meditation with Hadifa, to exercise their mind, he would say. The afternoons in martial arts with Ulu and, occasionally, Nour. It was in this year that Kailash noticed the change. She was, for the lack of a better word, turbulent and distracted, unable to hold the simplest thread of conversation before growing impatient and bored. She grew uncharacteristically unkempt and Imani often could be heard fighting with her over changing her clothes and pulling up her long strawberry blonde hair. Kailash could not care less about her appearance. What concerned him most was the distance she put between them. When he looked at her he only saw the eyes of the dead. But one day, she walked into the great lodge feeling like herself again, her spirits buoyed. They spent the morning walking in the paramo with Hadifa and she was her usual inquisitive self. In the afternoon Ulu partnered them up for sparring. She was obsessive about speed and Kailash was her best match. At first she was up to the challenge and took to Ulu's instruction with openness. But by the fifth time Kailash had knocked her to the ground, her frustration began to show. Her body flushed red and her breathing became increasingly loud. Kailash wanted to talk her out of her anger. To tell her she was better than he, but because he knew her as he did his own mind, he could anticipate what she would do next. But Ulu kept pressing her until finally, she attacked him with a ferocity that caught him unaware. He tried to defend himself but she was blind with rage until the heel of her palm made full contact with his face. Blood exploded into the air as Kailash fell to the ground. When he gained consciousness he was dismayed to find Ulu by his bedside and not her. Ulu said she had not been seen since the incident. This was more painful than her bashing his skull in. It was in the late hours of that night, as Kailash lay listless and distraught in his bed, when she came knocking at his window. She winced when she saw the remnant indentations along his cheeks that were still healing. She asked if he was alright. She said she felt an upwEllieng of anger like she had never felt before. It was the cold, empty feeling of evil that she could not help but satisfy. She did not remember hitting him, she said, but when she saw his bloodied face she grew scared of what she had caused and ran. She put her hands to his face and searched his eyes for forgiveness. They kissed deeply. He told her she need not be afraid for as long as he lived. But such are the foolish words of the innocent. When he awoke in the morning, Nour marveled at how quickly his face had become whole again.

When Kailash returned the following year, Aurora was gone. Devastated, he pursued Hadifa relentlessly for the truth. Aurora had begun to turn, Hadifa said. The darkness within sent her into fits of rage that left her sick and vulnerable. She begged him to put an end to her pain and misery but Imani refused. Instead she

had taken Aurora away to where she hoped the darkness would retreat in the light of the Earthenworld. It was the only alternative to destroying her. But she would never return to the Sanctuary again.

That same year, Kailash relented to his purpose and, in time, became Lucifer's most trusted Duma. It was then that Aurora entered into his life again, this time under the worst of possible circumstances. And now, there was Elise. The implications were beyond what he could fathom.

Eirik was right. She was entitled to the truth. It was his responsibility to tell her. Even if it was beyond her understanding and forgiveness and, this time, he would lose her forever.

Kailash stepped out into the cold morning already warm and perspiring from trepidation.