Saviors (Completed)

61. One Last Goodbye

"Here we all sit in God's house, looking over my mother's dead legacy. She loved much but was also blinded by it. She was a sinner for many years. A sinner we probably all have been, but the important things aren't the things we have done as sinners, but as saints. My mom did some things pure-hearted, even though they may not have come to the surface."

I closed my eyes, breathing in the tension of the air and leading out the relief of it being over soon enough.

"I forgive her, God forgives her and, in my heart, she will live on as a saint. Loving for all eternity and correcting her mistakes one by one." I strolled down towards her coffin, gently pressing my hand against the surface. "Goodbye, for now, mother. God is taking care of us down here, just make sure you do not worry. We're all going to be okay."

I fell down on my knees, resting my forehead against the coffin. "I am going to be okay," I whispered to her one last time.

I clenched my fists and rose to my feet, looking over the crowd. "That was all, thank you." I bit my lip and returned to my seat beside Anthony and Liam, who folded their hands.

The priest gave me a nod before he treads forward again. I've written a funeral down on paper before, but nothing could match with the emotions I was feeling. Loneliness, grief, sadness, hollowness, regret. The list went on and on until there was no more emotion to be named.

It was sad.

However, to describe the scene as sad seemed so childish. Sad was something to be waved away with a friendly smile and a pat on the shoulder where some fun things would occur after. But still, sad seemed to describe it very well even though it was nothing to be swept under the carpet. Sad could be called the core of depression, the feeling you felt bumped deep within your heart in your darkest moments. The feeling there really didn't leave you, even though you couldn't identify it any longer.

"In the name of God, the merciful Father, we commit the body of Charlotte Watson to the peace of the grave."

Then the priest took his first handful of dirt and threw it down upon my mother, then the second and last but not least, the third and final, while uttering the words, "from dust you came, to dust you shall return. Jesus Christ, our Saviour, shall raise you up on the last day."

"Lord God, our Father in heaven, Lord God, the Son, the Saviour of the world, Lord God, Holy Spirit, have mercy on us. At the moment of death, and on the last day, save us, merciful and gracious Lord God."

He peeked forward his bible, turning through the pages until he found his destination. I folded my hands in front of me, pressing my lips together as I focused on the hole in the ground before me.

"Let us now listen to the words of Holy Scripture that assure us of God's safe-keeping in life and death."

He took a deep breath and buried his nose in the Bible before him. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

I followed the priest words with my lip, lip-syncing to him in some way.

The priest cleared his throat. "So, do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I smiled at that. It was the first thing me and Liam ever heard from the bible. She read it up for us; our mother.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also, in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."