Skulduggery Pleasant - Songfics, Dribbles and Drabbles.

Motley Crew

Valkyrie and the Dead Men strolled through the Sanctuary, people moving out of their way. She didn't know why people were so scared of them. Sure, when it came down to it they did what they had to, they did the dirty work and they did it damned good and ninety percent of the time all of them were armed and easily agitated, but the were nice. 

Well, they tried to be. 

It wasn't their fault people were easily offended. They finally made it to the infirmary, where a doctor was working on Saracen. For a man who knew everything, he knew how to get hurt the most. But it was the price they had to pay, living the way they did. And especially those critical times Saracen was actually wrong. But Valkyrie let herself have a little smile as she saw Saracen being fussed over and hating it, as they all did, and thought about what they'd done to the person who'd knocked Saracen down. 

He wouldn't be able to talk, let alone push people away. 

Sure, the Dead Men payed a price, but those against them paid higher. 

Some new Grand Mage came rushing in, killing the mood immediately. Valkyrie wanted China back. 

"You went against orders!" He snapped, and Valkyrie rolled her eyes. 

Skulduggery spoke up, voice holding the same edged calm it'd had all day. "Shut up." 

The Grand Mage gaped at him. "I am your superior, Detective Pleasant. You will foll-"

"He told you to shut up," Valkyrie said, Dexter coughing awkwardly to cover his laugh. 

He looked at her, disgust clear in his face and she raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't care what he said, girl." He sputtered. "I will not be spoken to like that, especially by a female." 

Valkyrie laughed, feeling Dexter now straighten, hearing him cross his arms over his chest. The Grand Mage gazed over her head, looking into the fury she knew was shining in Vex's eyes. And when he looked back at her, she smiled giving him a little wink. 

"You done here?" Ghastly asked. 

"You've done nothing but annoy us since you walked in," Anton grumbled. 

Erskine nodded. "I almost want to throw myself out a window." 

Saracen sat up, patting his friend on the shoulder. "We won't miss you." 

Erskine faked a sob, "such care." 

"But," Dexter mused. "It would be so much more amusing throwing him out a window." 

Erskine nodded. "You've finally made a valid point, Vex." 

Dexter let out a belly laugh, until the Grand Mage spoke again. "Stop undermining my authority!" 

Skulduggery cocked his head, "You had any authority over us to begin with?" 

"Yes! And I still do! You are all hereby under house arrest!" 

Skulduggery chuckled. "You can't control us, your highness. Might as well stop trying. So what we bent the rules a little bit; don't you?"

The other man paled, at know having the skeleton's full attention focused solely on him. "I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Oh?" Skulduggery queried. "Would you like me to remind you? Do you know that having sexual intercourse is against our laws here, and it could wreck your pretty little marriage." 

Valkyrie gaped. "Who's he fucking?"

"She speaks so eloquently, doesn't she, Grand Mage?" 

But the Grand Mage had frozen, his brain on stand still the moment Skulduggery had let the Dead Men on his dirty little secret. 

"Don't worry," Valkyrie offered. "It's another thing Rue over here hasn't been able to correctly figure out. He's kinda pointless now." 

"Hey! I'm still good to look at." Saracen grumbled, and Erskine laughed. 

"You stopped being that a long time ago, friend." 

Saracen harrumphed, "hate all of you." 

Skulduggery directed the conversation back to the Grand Mage as he asked, "So, shall we let the rest of the world hear about this? Or do you want to reconsider some words." 

The Grand Mage stared at him, his mouth closing and opening a few times. "The Dead Men have free range to do as they wish, as long it does not cause serious trouble with mortals or start a war. You have access to weapons and people at all times of the day, and we will get things ordered in for you as quickly as we can." He said quietly, and Ghastly sighed. 

"Letting this lot run free won't do much good," He said, sounding much like a tired grandfather. 

But the rest of the Dead Men had matching grins across their faces. 

It didn't turn out how I imagined it, it just kind of took control and became what it wanted.