The Past Is In The Past||Calum Hood

Prolouge

I hated going out. I hated seeing people. I hated being crammed into a small place. And I certainly hated screaming girls.

Remind me again, why was I going to an album signing?

Indi, that’s why.  My gorgeous, but expertly persuasive best friend. Don’t get me wrong, i love her. But we are opposites, complete and utter opposites.

Indi is popular, funny, sporty, creative, clever, and perfect. She always has boys swooning at her feet. Life comes easy to her, she gets straight A’s without trying and she looks perfect without trying.

Whereas I on the other hand: are not popular, funny, sporty, creative, clever and most definitely not perfect.  I have one friend which is Indi, so I guess that rules out popularity huh?

Now, I know what you’re thinking; why would someone like her be friends with someone like me?

The answer is I don’t really know. She was always the most popular girl in our year even when we were eleven. And I had always been a loner, not that I minded, I like being alone. At first when she started talking to me around the age of thirteen, I thought she was joking, that she’d been dared to talk me by her ‘friends’. But apparently not. In fact looking back on it now it’s a wonder she carried on to talk to me, I was always so blunt when answering her questions or when she was telling me something I barely listened. I was always waiting for the cruel comment or joke which would escape her mouth and unveil her entire scheme.

 But it didn’t.

 We live three doors down from each other and every night at 6:12 she knocks on my door. And she has since we were 13. We don’t talk during school because we don’t have a single class together and at break and lunch, she has cheer practice. Not that I mind, just spending six hours alone everyday does get sort of...lonely.

Of course they’re advantages of being Indi’s friend. When we were younger and I was more outgoing and happy she would always get me invited to parties. Every weekend we’d be out telling our parents the same story. I’d say I was spending the night at hers and she’d say she was spending the night at mine. But going to these parties seemed like a good idea at time, they were fun, exciting and they made my popularity rise. However, they were not a good idea. Looking back at it now I can’t believe I was so ridiculously stupid.

 These parties had alcohol. And me and alcohol do not mix well. At all. I’m usually quiet, timid and pretty boring. But get a few drinks down me (and when I say a few, I quite literally mean a few, probably like two or three) and I turn into some loud mouthed, dancing, slut. And because of this, hundreds of mistakes followed.

 I would get extremely drunk and grind on strangers on the dance floor. I would kiss at least three different boys (and sometimes girls) in one night. I would go home with anyone. I would do anything.

Because of the effects alcohol has on me, I can’t even remember the name of the person I lost my virginity to. All I remember is he had dark hair and an amazing body...for a fourteen year old at least. That’s another thing, we were both only fourteen. Fourteen!

 And after this incident I still didn’t learn. In fact it probably made me worse. Now I would go home with anyone, anyone at all. Not having to worry about my purity, because that was already lost. All I would remember was the next morning waking up naked in a strange house with a stranger. Every morning I would regret it mid-way through the walk of shame, but it never stopped me.

 This continued, for about two years. Every weekend I would end up having sex with a different stranger, or sometimes strangers. It got to the stage where everyone knew. I would walk into a party and boys would come up to me, handing me drinks, hoping that tonight they’d get lucky. Because of all the boys surrounding me 24/7 I thought I was immensely popular. But one day it hit me, it wasn’t myself that was popular, it was my vagina.

When I realised this; I stopped. I stopped going out. I stopped giving my numbers to boys in public. I stopped all human interaction. Except for Indi. She stood by my decision, in fact I think she was thankful of it, but she still goes to parties every week. However, she’s sensible. She can handle her drink and she still has her virginity intact. Another thing that’s perfect about her.

The past is in the past.