My feelings made me write

Problems and Valentines day

Day after another, she started to hurt me more and more and in the other side my pain and sadness get more and more and my anger started to get out a little. It's true that I hurt sometimes with words but I apologise after that but she don't and don't even say thanks when I do something good for her I mean I'm trying my best to make her happy but she hardly looks at me. she don't say 'Hi' if I don't say 'Hello' and don't even ask about someone's health but I don't care. I just love her and that is enough for me but from my side my real heart started to hurt me sometimes and I become more and more sad all the time. I even cry nearly everyday at home cause that's not fair I mean I tried my best and kept trying and trying and trying but she didn't notice me and above all she started to ignore me more. But it's ok the valentine has come and the only problem is that I hate valentines days so much for lots of reasons

1-You don't need a special day to show your love for the person you love and valentine's story is sad

2-Cause I always see people together while I'm alone, always alone with no to be with me

3-Cause I always get hurt in this day and I feel like everyone in the world is lucky expect me

I know my reasons may look stupid but I hate that day and it was raining it was like the sky is crying with me for a writer rain most of the times means tears. However I thought I might win this time so worked Hard to bring for her an awesome present I even had something like a fight to get it. But I always get hurt, I mean I put it inside her bag with a letter and she opened her bag but didn't see it, she knew it was there only cause her friends told her about it and what do I get in the end nothing she said why did you do that . Isn't that painful isn't it clear I did that cause I love you so much so deeply and honestly but the only thing you know is hurting me rather than showing gratitude. However that was the point when I lost to my anger and even so I kept trying to say words that doesn't hurt cause she is so sensitive, I even smiled but I think she didn't understand what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say that you are the shining star that gives me hope I loved you so much so deeply I forgave you countless time and I tried countless times to reach you and this year is so close to an end and it's my last chance. I don't care if I have to get the same pain again to get you I'll be happy to face it again just for you. I want Her to know that I'm sorry for yelling at her and letting my anger get out but I think it was necessary to make you see me cause I'm always her. I want to be your friend but I want to be your lover too and the person you love cause I think you won't find anyone in the world who will do same or you might find but for now i want you to see me to recognize me and to try and love me cause I think I deserve this cause you was always the shining star and I was your light and I wish we can be together but it's all to you it's all to you idiot star I wish you just open your eyes and turn to me and say' I'm not going anywhere I'm her for you my light, thanks for waiting for me, I think I finally saw you' or something like this, I truly wish but for now I'm terribly sorry for yelling at you and I wish you forgive me and start thinking even a little about me my dear star I love you idiot angel.

I forgot to say within this story I used all my sadness and pain to create a small hope and that cause of you I become stronger I did so many stuff that I didn't imagine myself doing them it's even 01:03 and I should sleep cause I have to wake up at 06:00 but before that listen you idiot girl I wish you are reading this I love you so much shining star 🌟 and I'll do my best to be your light and please forgive me again and think about me