My feelings made me write

Me Dying

after all what've done I wasn't able to fulfil my promise I wasn't able to get her back I lost all my friends and now I'm totally so alone it really feels so bad when there is no one to care about you but I can't do a thing about it I'm useless and I don't think she will open her heart for me again and seeing all those people around her makes my blood boils I'm so jealous, I think that is the love's effect and I can do nothing about it because I'm so weak I was going to get hit lots of time because of jealousy but she comes every time and saves me she is really my hero, she looks like boys sometimes so foolish but I like that about her she acts mature but she is a 7 yeas old girl, she is so beautiful but unfortunately I can't reach her because I'm weak and no matter what I try to get her back she won't come she just hurts me more and keeps hiding behind that angelic face of hers I know she don't want to hurt me and that she ties to explain that she can't come back at the moment but I can't accept that because it's unfair, it's injuste and it's so painful waking up everyday with beautiful visions of you but when I come to reality you've gone already and there is no hope on making those sweet dreams come true if I don't bring you back that's why I kept trying all this time that's why I didn't give up on her all this time because she trusted me because she said she love me even for once I want to hear it one more just one more time but unfortunately she won't say it and that she made lose myself and hurt her she said lots of painful things like she just lied to me and she stabbed me in the back but I didn't care I wanted her so badly and then I thought if I keep trying she will get hurt more and I don't want that so I hurt her in order to make her hate me but outside there where some of our friend who were watching and they told everyone as a result everyone started to get away from me till I became alone even in my birthday I barely got any presents and she hated me and that is killing me but I can do nothing now I'm totally useless and isolated that means I'm dying but I don't car because I tried to suicide anyway but I didn't have the courage to because I was so weak but I'm thankful because I still want to live in this painful world with this painful reality.