by: xiubaek13 (ao3)
"I can't believe you lied to me!" His voice was raised, not quite yelling yet but you could hear the anger and hurt building.
Your patience was at its limit. You were sick of having this fight. "I never lied. I told you at the beginning that I didn't want to be tied down and that I wanted it to be casual. What part of that did you interpret as exclusively seeing each other?!" You wondered where everything went wrong, just last week your world was full of love and joy but within a few days it had all come crashing down around you.
To say you were confused by Sehun's outburst was an understatement. You'd been nothing but clear about not wanting a relationship in the conventional sense. You could hang out, go on dates, be intimate but you weren't committed to each other. At least that's what you'd thought. His hands were balled into fists as he paced around the room. The tension was becoming unbearable. He finally stopped and looked down at you with cold hurt eyes, when he spoke his tone was spiteful. "Is is because he's older? You needed an Oppa in your life right? Did you fuck him too?"
You wanted to slap him. How dare he speak to you like that. What had happened to the lovely boy who was always sweet, witty and caring? Was his jealousy over you going on dates with other men this bad? It wasn't cheating since you weren't a couple. From the look in his eyes you could tell he just wanted to fight about this and it was going to get ugly. If you caved and fought back with words as spiteful as his the two of you would regret it, but only after it was too late."I can't do this right now Sehun, call me when you've calmed down and we can talk about it like adults." You got up and stormed out of the apartment.
During the cab ride back to your apartment you reflected on the past few months. You had been friends with Sehun for a few years. He had witnessed you being mistreated by your previous boyfriends and helped you build your confidence and self worth up to the point where you had been able to break up with the manipulators and assholes you had dated. He knew why you refused to let yourself commit to one person, it only ended in heartbreak for you and you refused to allow yourself to feel like that again. You'd started going on dates, always keeping it casual and always making sure to tell the men that you did not want a serious relationship. This startled some men but it also weeded out the ones who were looking to find wives and long term relationships. You lost yourself in a world of fun first dates but never went further than the 4th date with most of them. You weren't going to lie, your sex life was amazing. It was funny how many of the guys put in more effort when they knew you were dating other men at the same time. It was 6 months of care free flings before Sehun asked you out.
At first you'd refused him because you thought he was joking. Then you refused him because you thought he wanted a relationship, he'd assured you that he wasn't after anything serious but he could no longer lie and tell you that he was only interested in you as a friend. So after setting out ground rules you had agreed to date him. Your dates were full of fun to begin with, then he showed you a different side of him and took you along to art shows & fashion shows. And the sex. The sex was mind blowing. You didn't know if it was because he was younger than you, if it was his background as a dancer or what but his rhythm and stamina were out of this world.
Then you had started to date another guy. You'd been dating 3 guys when Sehun and you had started going out but they had slowly dropped away, one decided he wanted a girlfriend and he knew you weren't interested in that so he called things off. The second had been great and had been the best sex you'd ever had...until Sehun. After Sehun the second guy just seemed... less. So you'd called things off with him. The third moved away recently so your dates with him had becomes few and far between before ceasing entirely. At first you hadn't noticed that you were only dating Sehun but after a couple of weeks you felt the itch to find another date. If you didn't you weren't sure if your anxiety could handle it.
The new man was soft spoken, handsome and talented. He took you on cute brunch dates, sang you songs and kept offering to take you on dates in his home country, China. Yixing made you laugh and feel all warm and fuzzy whenever you were near him. Both men were childlike at times but where Sehun always had a mischievous smirk to match Yixing had an angelic and pure dimpled smile. The thing you weren't expecting with Yixing was the sex. You were expecting him to be gentle and draw out each moment and basically worship your body but the first time the two of you had fucked you were not prepared for the sinful way his body moved or how dirty he was. He was rough, dominant and demanding in the bedroom. A stark contrast to the soft spoken angel the rest of the world saw. You couldn't walk straight after the first time you were with him and whilst you were in his bedroom he would have said something like "I told you that you hadn't been fucked properly yet. I warned you that I'd make you cum so hard you wouldn't be able to walk properly." as soon as you were outside he'd hold your hand and help you around. It confused you but he was fun and completely on board with the casual dating that you were after.
You continued to just date the two of them for months and everything was perfect. You felt whole. Then your happy bubble of bliss had to be burst when Sehun saw you out with Yixing, clearly on a date. You didn't know what to do. You liked both men. Both of them fulfilled a part of you and made you happy. You couldn't just pick one of them and nor should you have to, they knew why you didn't enter into serious relationships. Hell Sehun knew more than Yixing did, he'd been there when you were so broken that you wanted to curl up and die. He'd been there when you'd finally gotten enough courage to dump your abusive boyfriend. The boyfriend who didn't abuse you physically, but broke you down emotionally until you actually believed that he was doing you a favour by dating you since no one else would want to be with a worthless person such as yourself. When you'd finally told him that you weren't taking his abuse anymore and that you were leaving him he'd laughed in your face and told you he was placing a bet on how long it would be before you came crawling back or killed yourself. Sehun had consoled you and helped you build yourself back up, piece by piece.
A few hours after getting home he called. "Hello."
You could hear the relief in his voice that you'd picked up. "Hey Babe, I'm sorry about what I said. I don't know what got into me... please forgive me."
You sighed. He was one of your oldest friends and a person you didn't want to cut ties with... but you weren't sure that you could continue to date him if he couldn't be ok with Yixing or whoever you decided to date at the same time as him. "I forgive you, but I think we need to talk about our situation."
You waited for him to answer you. Finally he spoke again "I agree. I know I said yes...but this isn't what I signed up for. I have a ton of work to get done today so can we meet tomorrow to talk this through?"
You forced yourself to answer, still to shocked by his words. You could feel a tear running down your face as you struggled to control your emotions. "Yes, I'll text you details." Then you hung up.
