Rollercoaster

{this is in the future a bit}

"God Grant! Your such a fucking idiot! Can't you see that I love you? Why do we have to "do it" for you to think that?" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my voice cracking at the end.

I could feel myself starting to cry. No no I am not going to cry I tell myself. Get your shit together Bethany.

Grant grabbed my arms and held them in his big, strong hands

"Bethany look at me," he said firmly,"look at me."

I looked at his shirt.

"No, in my eyes."

I tilted my head up, looking into his dreamy eyes. Oh god they were dreamy.

Grant put his hands on my face and wiped a year that was strolling down my cheek.

"What do you want." I said, in kind of a whimper.

"Bethany, I know you love me,"he then started to quote me favorite book, The Fault in Our Stars,"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that were all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun with swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."

I looked down, knowing the tears were coming and would soon pour down my face and stain it red with streams of the black of my mascara.

"No, no, keep looking at me." He lifted my chin.

"Please what do you want..?" I asked wiping my tears on the back of my hand.

"Bethany, I'm....-"