Mirage || Zarry

Chapter 9.

I always wanted to be someone that everyone looked up to. I wanted to be that guy that sat in front of people who loved him just for doing something he loved. I wanted to be someone who was simply enough. Someone who you could talk to and someone who would listen.

I never really got the chance to be someone's forever. I never got the chance to be someone's love. Because no one gave me the chance to let me showcase my talent. No one ever gave me a stage and said "go on, play". All anyone ever gave me was a shovel and a bucket but what's the use if theres no sand? There isn't.

I look at kids my age and wonder why I can't be like them. Why I have to be home at 5 and stay in. Why I can't go to party's and why I can't have someone who looks at me and calls be beautiful. Why won't someone tell me that I'm enough? That I don't have to try, that I don't have to suffer and that all I'm doing will help me get to a better place. That what I say, what comes it of my mouth isn't just bullshit that will get forgotten as soon as they leave my sight.

I want someone to look ate and say "Harry, you may not be perfect, you may not be smart, you may not be amazing at football, and you may get upset from time to time, but Harry, your enough and no matter what your all I want" because I may be a little weird, I may take my anger out on other things that deserve to be left alone but I can't help it. And this is who I am, and this is why I never understand why people look at me weird, don't they want to fit in to? Don't they all want to be 'normal'

It's been 5 days since I've seen Zayn. We haven't had a meeting in a while and I'm upset. He's probably fucking Lima right now. Probably begging him to stop and ripping his sheets apart.

I grabbed my phone and slammed it on the floor. I scratched at my face and cut up my cheeks. My eyes are red and I'm crying so hard I can feel my head throb.

'Your not enough'

"Im never enough" I huff out

'He doesn't care about you Haz'

"But who does care about me?" I laugh

'I do'

"Your not real" I smile

'YES I AM'

"No your not!" I ball my fists and slam them on the floor.

'KILL YOURSELF'

"NO!" Fuck you

'Kill yourself and I'll show you I'm real'

"Fine" I got up and went to the bathroom. It's wet because my mom just got done in here. I look at my face in the mirror and I smile. "How lovely, I'm beautiful aren't i?" I chuckle

'Gorgeous baby'

"SHUT UP !" I yell I take the bottle of pills in the cabinet. How cliché right? Overdosing huh? What next? They find me in the bathroom and Rush my body to the hospital and save me? Or do they not save me in time? Oh how I hope they don't save me in time! I hope no one has to use they bathroom for days and they leave me hear to die slowly.

"Harry?..." I sit up and look at Zayn

"Yea" I say calmly

"What where you thinking about?"

"Why didn't you call me?" I ignore his question feeling it's to bland. I need to spice things up

"Oh...um... I don't know... I-I didn't think you wanted to me?" He said more of a question

"What where you doing?"

"Oh um spending time with Liam"

"Did you fuck?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did you fuck him or did he fuck you?"

"Harry!"

"Was it slow?"

"Harry!"

"It was fast wasn't it? Nice and rough huh? Fucked you hard I bet"

"Harry stop it" he got up and came close to me. God he's so fucking hot I just want him to take me on this green bright chair

"Fuck me Zayn"

"You'd like that huh?"

"Please... Do it now ZAYN NOW"

"Fuck Harry" he rips my shirt off and as it flies off I wake up sweaty and I look around. It 2:54am and I look down to see I have a problem. I groan and smile at the same time.

I'm so fucked up

-------------------

Not good at all but idk I'm kind sad the fault in are starts was amazing. I didn't read it but I am rn so yea it's okay. It's sad and fuck and it makes you want to cry your eyes out my brother was like "TF you crying for" and it makes you feel everything so yea. Amazing 10/10 5 stars :)

Anyways I know this was weird and all over the place but yea w.e

I also have 5 new story's so go check those out please and see what one you like best :)

by cupcakes