livejournal fics//joncer

Part Two

*

"Dude, tell your camper to aim better," Tom grumbles as he climbs up from the grass. There are grass stains on his jeans now, and he turns to Jon, who just sits up and glances over to where Spencer looks horrified. He can't see his expression clearly from their distance, but he looks embarrassed as Cassie says something to him.

"Archery is hard," he offers with a shrug.

Tom scoffs. "He's been doing it since he was ten. You'd think he'd get the hang of it by now."

Jon shrugs, struggling up and watching how Spencer stands, dejected, next to Brendon. Cassie has moved on to Darren from Tom's cabin. He's struggling just to get the bow upright.

"I couldn't make the target until my last year as a camper," he says, frowning as he watches Spencer set down his bow and opt to watch Brendon's arrow soar into the center circle.

"Yeah," Tom says with a leering grin. "Until Cassie took you out and showed you how to work it."

Jon rolls his eyes good-naturedly, pushing at Tom. "She did not."

"Whatever you say," Tom agrees, though it's obvious he doesn't believe him.

Jon shakes his head, still watching Spencer. "Maybe I'll go help him."

"I think he's beyond help," Tom mutters but doesn't stop Jon as he walks away across the field.

Spencer feels like an idiot and a failure as he stands on the field. He couldn't shoot that target if his life depended on it.

Beside him, Brendon just gives him a sympathetic look. "Come on, Spence, try again. Make it your summer goal."

"To hit the target?" Spencer asks dubiously, crossing his arms and scowling. "Yeah, that's a good goal."

Brendon shrugs. "It's better than pouting about it."

"I am not pouting," Spencer growls, but his stance says otherwise as he cocks his hips to the side and glares.

Brendon shrugs again and lets loose his arrow. Spencer grinds his teeth as he hits the bullseye.

"Hey."

A voice behind Spencer has him jumping, thankful that he doesn't have a bow in his hand when he spins around. He's pretty sure he could take someone's eye out.

"Uh, Jon," he says quickly, feeling that infernal blush rise of the back of his neck again. "I didn't... the arrow, it didn't..."

"I'm fine," Jon assures him, smiling, and Spencer hates how his knees feel weak. "But maybe you should work on your aim."

"Uh, yeah," Spencer mutters, feeling stupid as Jon sweeps down for his bow.

"Here." Jon hands it to him and Spencer takes it slowly, unsure if he really wants to try this again, especially with Jon right there. "Now come over here and make sure you have a steady stance."

Spencer moves to where Jon indicates, jumping when Jon's hands land on his shoulders.

Jon pauses when Spencer jerks under his hands but disregards it for the moment. He moves Spencer over a little, turning him to his right and pulling up his arms.

Spencer tries not to shiver with Jon pressed up behind him, rough fingers pulling his arms back into the right position.

"Level with your mouth," Jon says, exactly the same as Cassie, except his mouth is close to Spencer's ear, breath washing over Spencer's neck, and he tries not to think about it. "Anchor point."

Spencer nods, not daring to speak or turn for what he might do with Jon's mouth so close, breath ticking over his ear.

"Okay," Jon says, hands sliding down from Spencer's arms, landing on his hips much the same as Cassie had done only moments before, but Cassie hadn't made Spencer's whole body warm, hyper-aware of Jon's hands. "Widen your stance."

Spencer spreads his feet wider, to shoulder's width, and takes a breath, feeling Jon's hands lingering on his hips before pulling back quickly.

"Now," Jon says, taking a step back, "aim the bow at the center of the target and make sure it's taut on the string."

Spencer nods again, forcing himself to breath. He can see Jon out of the corner of his eye, standing beside him and watching how he stretches his arm back. Biting his lip, Spencer tries to focus on the target, not Jon standing feet from him, steady brown eyes watching his every move.

The arrow is heavy as Spencer pulls it back, squeezing his eyes shut as he lets it go. He almost doesn't want to see where it goes, but he hears Brendon's whoop from next to him.

"You did it!"

Opening his eyes, Spencer can't believe it as he sees his arrow stuck on the outer rung. It's the best he's ever done in ten years.

"Wow," he breathes, staring. He's not really surprised when Brendon slams into him with a hug.

Behind Brendon, Jon is grinning.

"Knew you could do it."

Spencer feels flushed again, but he pushes it away in favor if grinning back at Jon. Jon looks surprised for a second, eyes sweeping over Spencer, but his smile is back in a minute, and Spencer doesn't even notice.

Brendon is still babbling when he lets Spencer go, and Spencer glances at Jon, for once not pushing away the rush in his stomach.

*

At dinner, Spencer sits next to Brendon and Frank, listening as Frank talks to Mikey, prodding him for information about Gerard. Mikey is fairly unhelpful, only offering vague answers and spending most of his time watching Pete at the next table over. He's in the middle of telling some story that involves a lot of hand gestures. Patrick is sitting next to him looking slightly forlorn, but he smiles when Pete looks at him.

Spencer looks up when there's a clatter across from him and he finds Jon sliding onto the bench. Spencer immediately drops his fork on the floor and has to duck down to get it.

Under the table, he frowns as he catches sight of William on his knees. William just winks at him, and he decides to ignore it, resurfacing and catching Jon watching him.

"What?" he asks for lack of anything better. No one is paying them any attention. Brendon is busy building a mashed potato mountain with Vicky rolling her eyes and Sisky watching curiously.

Jon shakes his head at Spencer's question. "You've changed since last year."

Spencer isn't sure that's a good thing when Jon just looks him over for a second. Spencer doesn't think he's changed that much. He ditched the skater look after Ryan realized that skaters were so high school. Instead, he's taken to wearing clothes that look as though he's stolen them from his sisters. But he likes the pink and the sparkles and whatever else is on his clothes. Brendon says he's from a magical kingdom and makes up stories of his adventures.

"Not really," he mutters, pushing his hair back and turning his attention to his plate. Brendon has stolen his carrots to use as trees at the bottom of his volcano.

"You're taller," Jon points out, not mentioning that with height should come taller jeans, but Spencer's are tight and sit low on his hips, a belt cinched tight to keep them up.

"You have a beard," Spencer retorts, feeling slightly childish as Jon rubs his chin.

"Forgot to shave." He shrugs and smiles at Spencer.

Spencer glances away, watching Brendon pour the gravy on his mountain of potatoes with accompanying sound effects. When he looks back, Jon is still watching him thoughtfully.

"I'm gonna get more carrots," Spencer mutters finally, not sure what to do with the way Jon is looking at him. It gives him a nervous flutter in his stomach, but he knows it's stupid. As he stumbles up from the table, he hurries off towards the serving tables at the front of the room.

Jon watches after him until Brendon shouts for his attention and he turns to watch the potatoes and carrots disappear in a sea of gravy.

*

It's late and they've only gone to bed an hour ago, but Spencer wakes up anyway. The cabin is quiet, just the few heavy breaths of people sleeping. The moonlight creeps in through the window, brighter than the night before.

Rolling over, Spencer discovers the reason he'd woken up. He doesn't know what he was dreaming about but it doesn't seem to have helped the erection he now has, almost painful when he moves.

Silently cursing, he knows he can't do anything about it, not here. The risk of someone waking up is too much and the thought is disturbing to Spencer. Frowning, he doesn't know what to do. He's not sure he can ignore it, especially with the way his dick twitches when his mind flits to Jon asleep in the next bed over.

Groaning into his pillow, muffling the sound, Spencer decides he has to do something.

Rolling out of bed, he pads softly to his duffle bag, grabbing his flashlight out and slipping on the single pair of flip flops he brought for just this purpose.

The door of the cabin squeaks almost too loudly as he opens it and sneaks down the three steps to the ground.

It isn't cold out, but it's not warm either as Spencer flips on his flashlight and heads down the little winding dirt path towards the bathroom and shower structure in the middle of camp.

He isn't scared as he walks down the path alone, jumping a little at the rustle of bushes beside him. Quickening his pace, he makes it to the bathrooms to find that they are blissfully empty; it is the middle of the night, after all.

He chooses the shower stall the furthest from the door, the one tucked into a corner. He debates turning on the water to cover any sound but decides that it's far more suspicious to be running a shower at one in the morning than just to be in there. The closest cabin is barely one hundred feet away, so Spencer worries about sound carrying.

Instead, he just shuts the door and slides down onto the bench, shoving his hand under his pajama pants and squeezing his eyes shut at the first graze of his fingers over his skin.

His skin is hot and pulses under his hand as he wraps his fingers around it. His mind wanders to something to help this go faster. It lands on Jon almost immediately. Biting his lip, he tilts his head back as his hand strokes, thinking of Jon asleep in the bunk wearing his worn tee shirt and boxers that sling low on his hips whenever he rolls out of bed.

He thinks of Jon's messy hair, his scratchy jaw, rough hands on his skin earlier during archery. Groaning softly, Spencer increases the speed on his hand, remembering the way Jon had hovered behind him, warm and soft, breath on his neck, lips almost touching his ear. His hips jerk as he thinks of Jon's hands grazing down his sides and pulling his hips back to the right stance.

It's too much pressure as Spencer sees Jon's smile, his sparkling brown eyes, the way his eyes had lingered on him during dinner. He can't help the gasp that slips into the empty bathroom. It's almost completely dark, and Spencer grips the edge of the bench as his hand moves quicker, sliding over his skin until he's gasping and biting his lip to keep quiet.

With a last arch and a whispered, "fuck," Spencer comes, breathing hard through his nose as his hand strokes long and slow, drawing it out as he wonders what Jon would look like when he came. He wonders if Jon would do this for him, his rough hand on Spencer's prick.

When he finally opens his eyes, Spencer sighs. He can't hear anything inside the bathroom and knows he should get back before anyone notices he's gone and decides to come looking.

Standing up, his legs feel sort of weak and like jell-o, but he stumbles out of the shower stall, heading over to the sink to wash his hands. The water is ice cold, but Spencer lets it run over his hands, splashing a little onto his face too. He can't see himself in the mirror, but he sighs, turning away and grabbing his flashlight.

Outside is still the same, the leaves still rustling as Spencer heads back for his cabin on the edge. He's nearly back when he runs into someone on the path.

"Spencer?" The voice sounds worried and a little breathless.

"Jon?" Spencer stops, his heart speeding up as Jon nears, his flashlight bobbing as he comes closer.

"Oh, God," Jon breathes, sighing in relief.

"What?" Spencer asks, coming closer and hoping Jon can't see the stain on his boxers in the dark.

"You weren't there and Mikey's not either," Jon says, coming up and placing a hand on Spencer's face as if checking for injuries. "Is he with you?"

Spencer can hardly focus when Jon's thumb is tracing down his jaw and he's close enough to touch.

"Uh, no," he says. "I just went to the bathroom."

"You didn't see him?" Jon's hand is gone and Spencer silently mourns the loss.

"Did you ask Frank?"

Jon shakes his head, glancing back at the cabin.

"He'd probably know." Spencer shrugs and starts back, restraining himself from letting his hand brush against Jon's as they walk. He doesn't know if he could do it and make it seem like an accident. He's not that smooth.

"Yeah," Jon says, letting out a breath. "I don't know why I got so worried. It's just, I woke up and both beds were empty, so I thought... I don't know what I thought."

Spencer frowns as they reach the cabin door. "Well, I'm fine."

"Yeah, thank God," Jon says, and Spencer can hear the relieved smile in his voice. "I can't go losing my favorite camper."

Spencer's heart jumps at that but he doesn't say anything as they go inside and Jon moves over to Frank's bunk on the top.

"Frank," he whispers, pushing at Frank's shoulder. Frank mumbles something inaudible and rolls over, away from Jon. "Frank," he whispers again, a little louder, poking him again until Frank grumbles and opens his eyes blearily.

"Wh-what?" he asks, disoriented.

"Frank," Jon whispers, "do you know where Mikey is?"

"Mikey?" Frank repeats, not stifling a yawn as he burrows into his covers. "Sure, he snuck off Pete."

"Pete?" Jon asks, surprised. "Where did they go?"

"Pete's cabin, duh," Frank mumbles into his pillow.

It's useless to ask any more as Frank has fallen asleep. Stepping back, Jon looks almost amused.

"Well," he says to Spencer, and Spencer can see his mouth quirk into a half-smile. "Isn't that interesting?"

Spencer doesn't know what to say as Jon takes a step back from Frank's bunk and turns to him.

"Okay, no more freaking out," he says. He smiles and reaches for Spencer's arm, giving it a light squeeze before he heads back to his bunk.

Spencer feels as though he's in a dream-like state as he crawls back into his sleeping bag, listening to Jon shifting to get comfortable.

He's almost asleep when he hears Jon's voice, quiet in the darkness. "Goodnight, Spencer."

"'Night," Spencer breathes back, snuggling into his sleeping bag and falling asleep with a smile on his face.

*

"I can't believe we have to sit around braiding rope for two hours," Spencer grumbles, pulling at the colored strings.

"It's not braiding, it's tying knots with embroidery floss," Brendon says from his place next to him on the bench. "And I'm making you a friendship bracelet."

"I'm not gonna be your best friend forever," Spencer mutters, eyeing the multicolored bracelet that looks much better than his own.

"Yes, you are," Brendon declares firmly.

Groaning, Spencer just glances around him. Mikey and Brendon appear to be the only ones diligently working on their projects. Frank is over by Gerard asking him lots of questions about his technique. Frank's bracelet is barely half an inch long and he's been working on it for a good forty-five minutes. Gerard just answers his questions and gives him a half-smile when Frank looks away.

Sighing, Spencer turns back to his own bracelet, a mess of badly tied knots. He thinks he'd do better with braiding since he has to braid his sister's hair from time to time.

Pulling at one of the strands, he thinks back to the night before, a small smile creeping onto his face as he remembers Jon's words.

My favorite camper.

He has a stupid warm and fuzzy feeling in his stomach and his skin tingles a little at the place where Jon had squeezed his arm.

"What are you smiling at?" Brendon asks suddenly, breaking into Spencer's thoughts.

"Nothing," he says quickly, and Brendon pauses, a suspicious look on his face.

"Nu uh, you don't smile at just anything," he says then pauses. "Actually, you don't smile at anything."

"Shut up," Spencer says, giving him a shove and turning back to his bracelet, working hard not to think about Jon and give Brendon any more reason to fish for answers.

*

"Hear you had a mild freakout last night."

Jon glances up from where he's been lying on the slight incline that leads down to the dock. His hands are behind his head and he twists over to see Gabe plunking down beside him.

Out in the lake, the canoes are spread out. Jon can just barely see Spencer and Brendon out in one on the far side of the shore.

"Tom really does have a big mouth, doesn't he?" Jon asks good-naturedly.

Gabe nods. "Yup. So you lost one of your little birds?"

"Two actually," Jon says, tilting up so he can watch the canoes drift along the lake's surface. Ryland is down there supervising. They've already had one capsize the day before, two of Patrick's Alexes had come up looking like drowned rats. Patrick had had the decency not to laugh at them, but Tom hadn't been so nice.

"You didn't know that Pete and Mikey had a thing?"

"A thing?" Jon repeats. "Pete is, like, five years older than him, and he's the camp director."

"Three years," Gabe corrects idly. "Besides, Mikey's hot, almost as much as William or Spencer."

Jon sighs. "Yeah, Spencer was the other one."

"You lost your boytoy?"

"He's not my boytoy," Jon replies, sufferingly patient. "He's my camper, and he's great. I've known him for a long time."

Gabe looks over to where Spencer and Brendon are. Spencer is gesturing at Brendon, who is standing up in the canoe, a sure sign they're in for a capsize.

"Well, did you ever notice the way he looks at you?"

Jon frowns. "What are you talking about?" A part of him knows that listening to Gabe is about as reliable as Fox news.

Gabe grins widely, sort of dark and leering as he looks at Spencer. "Kid's got it bad. He wants you to fuck him."

"That's ridiculous," Jon scoffs, thinking back on the other night, how Spencer had gone stiff the moment Jon touched him to make sure he was alright. He thinks back on archery a week ago, Spencer watching his every movement. But no, that was crazy. "Spencer's just my camper."

"You don't think he's hot?" Gabe asks obviously, throwing an arm over Jon's shoulders and gazing down the shore where Spencer is climbing out of the lake, soaking wet, their upturned canoe floating along behind them. Jon can't hear, but he imagines Spencer is yelling at Brendon. It's sort of like a yearly ritual.

"Looks wet," Jon comments and Gabe scoffs.

"Okay, take off the clothes," he says, leaning into Jon's ear. "Picture what he wears to bed."

"A unicorn tee shirt?" Jon asks and Gabe huffs at his non-cooperation.

"Work with me here, Jonny boy." Gabe shifts, drawing him closer. "Picture him without the tiny tee shirt, without those skin tight jeans, lying on your bunk, blue eyes drawing you in, begging you to take him somewhere he's never been."

Jon frowns. "How do you ever get any guys?"

Gabe shakes his head. "He wants you, Jon, wants you to kiss him, to touch him, to pull off his boxers and—"

"That's enough," Jon interrupts, not willing to admit that Gabe's words are sinking into his mind and he can almost see it.

"But he is hot. I know it, you know it, fuck, even Tom knows it."

Jon frowns slightly, watching Spencer huffing and wringing out his shirt. He strips it off and Jon watches him quietly. He's not exactly toned, but he's nowhere near ugly. Jon knows that Spencer is cute, of course he does. It's not a secret that the girls think he's pretty cute. And maybe Jon has noticed the change from last year, how Spencer is more confident, and yes, his hips are definitely something to take note of.

Jon doesn't need everyone to point out how Spencer has changed. Since that first day, Jon had noticed, and that smile the other day at archery had taken Jon by surprise. He'd never realized Spencer could look like that, and a part of him wanted Spencer to always look like that.

Okay, so maybe Spencer has definitely improved from the scowling thirteen year old he'd been when Jon had first met him. Maybe he's more attractive and Jon has been noticing lately.

Gabe laughs quietly beside him, holding out his hand to Jon.

Jon gives him a knowing look but lets Gabe slap their hands together.

"Just remember," Gabe says. "No glove no love."

When he pulls away, Jon feels the crinkle of plastic in his hand and finds a condom there as Gabe pushes himself to his feet.

"Gabe," he says, but Gabe turns around a few feet away.

"If you need more, you know where to find me." He leaves with a wink, heading down the hill as Jon sits and looks at the condom for a minute before slipping it into his back pocket.

*

Spencer has made it through an entire week and a half without looking like a complete and total idiot in front of Jon and he counts it as a success. He's tie-dyed socks and even managed to finish a somewhat mangled friendship bracelet that Brendon took without question. Brendon's own, much nicer, bracelet is now tied around Spencer's wrist and he's taken to playing with the dangling string as he sits at the dinner table listening to everyone's stories.

Jon hasn't touched him since that night, and Spencer wonders if he did something wrong. Jon doesn't seem any different, still smiling and laughing at everyone. He still nudges Spencer under the table when someone does something particularly stupid, like Gabe's spaghetti monster.

Spencer smiles back, a little guarded, but he doesn't want Jon to know about his ridiculous crush that hasn't gone away in five years. It's stupid, he knows, and it should be gone by now, but it just won't go away whenever Jon grins at him or whispers something into his ear during campfires while Pete is trying to get everyone to sing "My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean." He can't help the stupid rush in his stomach, like he's just missed a stair, when Jon offers him his slightly-burnt marshmallow and grins when his fingers get covered in sticky mallow residue.

Spencer licks off the marshmallow, sucking the sweet sticky inside off his fingers, and finds Jon staring at him for just a second until he turns away to answer Brendon's question about how many s'mores are a good idea before the toilet will become his best friend. Jon's answer is three, but Brendon is already on his fourth.

At night, Spencer lies awake, listening to everyone else sleeping. He can tell them apart now. Brendon is the one who whines, and sometimes, Spencer catches Ryan's name slipped in between mumbled syllables. Frank's breathing is heavy, pressed against his pillow, and Mikey, though he often sneaks out when he thinks they're all asleep, is the one who shifts constantly, rolling over in his sleep. Jon breaths lightly, almost too lightly that Spencer can't hear.

He doesn't call Ryan to whine about Jon, not that he could since there's no service up there. He shouldn't need to talk about this anyway. He's been talking about Jon for the last five summers and nothing ever comes of it.

Snuggling in his bed, Spencer tells himself firmly that nothing has changed since last year and Jon sees him the same as always.

*

About two weeks into camp, Pete announces that they're going on the annual hiking trip up to the top of the mountain. It's really not that big of a mountain but parts of the trail are steep and Spencer always trips over a root somewhere along the line. It's always hot and sweaty and full of whining kids, and someone always gets into poison oak or nettles despite the fact that the counselors show them beforehand what it looks like.

So after breakfast, they all retreat to their cabins, throwing water bottles in backpacks and slipping on tennis shoes. Spencer thinks that Jon looks funny in real shoes rather than his usual flip flops.

Brendon is bouncing excitedly and Frank asks if Gerard is coming to which Mikey snorts.

"Not unless there's a cave of zombies up there or a really pretty sunset."

Frank contemplates that for a second and then hurries off after Mikey to ask more questions.

Spencer ties his shoelaces as he sits on his bed. It's already getting warm outside and he knows that by the time they reach the summit, it will be hot.

Jon comes inside after Brendon leaves, hurrying when Greta calls for him. The door stands open and Jon leans against the frame, watching Spencer finish up his shoes.

When Spencer looks up, he smiles.

"Ready for a hike?"

Spencer groans. "I hate hiking."

"But you're at camp." Jon grins. "That's what you do."

"No," Spencer replies, searching for his bag in the mess that is now their cabin. They've only been there two weeks but it's going to be hell to find anything at the end. "You go swimming and make stupid lanyards that you'll never use and get drowned in your canoe."

"I'll go canoeing with you," Jon offers. "And I promise I won't tip it."

Spencer looks up carefully, pausing at Jon's smile, and bites his lip.

Jon watches the way Spencer worries his bottom lip, thinking about what Gabe said, catching the look in Spencer's eyes, and then he smiles.

"Come on, before they leave without us."

Turning from the door, he gives himself a firm shake and stuffs his hand in his pocket only to find the condom still there. Pushing it back, he jumps down the three steps and goes to join Brendon and Greta over where everyone is gathering.

*

Spencer was right. It's hot and sticky and gross by the time they reach the halfway point.

The sun is bright out, shining down through the leaves of the trees bordering the path. They pause for a short break in a clearing on the mountain side. From his vantage point, Spencer can see the valley spreading out below them. It's the same vista he's seen for ten years and it's not really impressive anymore.

Behind him, Brendon flops down on the ground, digging in his bag for his water bottle.

"Man, it's hot," he says, popping the top and taking a long drink.

Greta and Vicky come trudging up the last little hill, and Spencer hates that Greta doesn't have a lick of sweat on her forehead. They join Brendon under the little tree, each pulling out water bottles.

"Isn't it beautiful up here?" Greta asks, pushing her hair back and re-doing her ponytail.

Vicky shakes her hair from her eyes and Spencer is pleased to note that she has a light sheen of sweat that she wipes away. "It's warm," she replies.

"I hate hiking," Spencer mutters, flopping down onto the ground along with them and wiping at his forehead.

Vicky sends him a look. "Just enjoy the scenery."

"I've seen this scenery for the last ten years," Spencer points out. He'd much rather be swimming in the lake right now, or he'd even take Brendon flipping their canoe over this.

"It's still beautiful," Greta says, placing her water bottle back in her backpack. "And Pete seems especially enthusiastic this year."

Spencer glances over to where Pete is standing at the trailhead, gazing out over the valley and talking with Mikey, who seems to be a little too close to be friendly. Spencer pretends not to see the way Pete's arm drapes over Mikey's shoulder and he leans into his ear, supposedly pointing out something down below.

"Where are Gabe and William?" Vicky asks after a minute and Spencer doesn't bother looking around.

"Probably fucking in the woods."

Brendon giggles at that, and Vicky rolls her eyes but doesn't dispute it.

"Alright!" Pete's voice rouses them and heads turn towards him. Mikey is a few feet away now. "Let's get a move on! Want to hit the summit by lunchtime."

Groaning, Spencer pulls himself reluctantly to his feet, sighing as he lets Greta, Vicky, and Brendon go in front of him.

"Come on, Spence," comes a voice from behind him, and he feels a hand brushing against his back. "Don't wanna be left behind."

Spencer turns to see Jon brushing past with a small smile, and he just sighs and trudges on after.

*

They have lunch at the top.

Spencer curls up under the biggest, leafiest tree he can find, far away from Maja's eight year olds, some of whom are red-faced and looking unhappy as they gaze out over the golden grass that winds its way down the rest of the mountain, interrupted by trees and rocks jutting out.

Brendon and Frank join him along with Vicky, Greta, and Cassadee. Zach, the camp cook, has packed sack lunches for everyone; sandwiches, apples, chips, and mini bottles of water that the girls just coo over until Spencer can't take it anymore.

Rising, he crumples up his bag and leaves it under the tree, wandering away under the trees and feeling the light breeze that doesn't really make it any cooler.

He winds his way through the groups of people sitting and eating lunch. Most are laughing, some are resting, their eyes closed as they lean against tree trunks. Some are playing games, but Spencer ignores them all. He knows this mountain backwards to front.

A little ways down from the lunch area, he knows there's a place to overlook the whole mountain. Pete doesn't usually take them there because it's too far in the opposite direction of where they want to go. But Spencer knows where it is, and Pete doesn't stop him from climbing over the hell crest and following the overgrown path down to the overlook. It's shielded from the top by the twisting trees and only people who know where it is can find it.

Standing there, he settles down on the ground, sitting cross-legged and gazing out over the mountain side. Beyond the mountain, there are other smaller hills rolling down into the valley. Their sides are covered with dried grass lilting in the wind. It always reminds Spencer of the Midwest with its rolling plains, except this is on the side of a hill and green trees sprout up in the middle.

"I didn't know this was here."

Spencer jerks around at a new voice interrupting the peace and quiet of the nook. Jon is standing at the entrance, looking around. Telling himself to relax, he forcefully turns back straight.

"It's kind of hidden."

"I see that."

Spencer hears Jon coming closer, shoes crunching the leaves on the ground, swishing through the grass. He doesn't look over, chewing his lower lip and watching a rabbit dart out from under a bush.

Jon settles down next to him, gazing out. He'd come looking for Spencer after not being able to find him. Pete had told him he'd gone down to the overlook, which Jon had never heard of, but following the freshly bent grass, it hadn't been too hard to find.

"You come out here a lot?" Jon asks finally when no one speaks for a few moments.

Spencer shrugs. "It's not like I climb up this mountain a lot."

Jon laughs as his response, and Spencer feels him nudge his shoulder playfully. "But when you do."

"Yeah, I usually come down here," Spencer mutters. "It's quieter than up there, less people."

"No people," Jon comments, glancing around. He wonders how many people even know about this place.

Spencer shrugs again, chancing a quick glance at Jon. Jon is looking around slowly, taking in the secluded aura of the place.

"I like to be alone sometimes."

"Yeah, I've noticed," Jon says, hesitating and then scooting closer. "You seem to do okay with Brendon."

Spencer waffles a little. "Well, I've known Brendon for four years and I'm with him all year round. I just kind of have to, you know?"

"You do okay with me," Jon adds, watching Spencer look away, ducking his head.

"Yeah, well," he mumbles, hoping Jon doesn't notice his cheeks getting hotter. Hopefully he'll blame it on the heat.

"Hey, Spence," Jon says finally, and Spencer gathers himself together enough to look back. Jon is sitting there next to him, head tilted to the side, mouth slightly parted.

"Yeah?"

Jon looks as though he's thinking over whatever he was going to say, and he shakes his head. "Nothing."

"Oh." Spencer bites his lip and looks away again, climbing to his feet. "We should probably get back." He doesn't want to do anything stupid with Jon sitting there looking so good in his tee shirt and jeans, smelling like pine trees and bubblegum.

Jon rises also, watching Spencer turn to head back, but his hand is on Spencer's arm to stop him before he can get too far.

"Wait," he says, and Spencer stops, looking confused as Jon closes the distance between him. "I wanted to ask you..."

"Yeah?" Spencer isn't sure if he's breathing anymore. He can feel Jon's hand on his arm, rough fingers against bare skin, and he swallows carefully.

"Um, I want to ask..." Jon trails off again, eyes flitting over Spencer's face. "Ask..." He licks his lips and leans in before Spencer can stop him.

Spencer is shocked, sure he's imagining all this, but Jon is there, mouth pressed to his. It's not much more than two pairs of lips pressed together, but Spencer is in heaven.

Jon pulls back suddenly, though, and Spencer wonders why until he hears Pete shouting Jon's name.

"We, uh, should go," Jon says, turning abruptly and pushing his way back up the trail.

Letting out a breath, Spencer raises his hand to his mouth and pauses before grabbing his bag and following after Jon.

*

Spencer isn't sure what's going on. Ever since the hiking trip, and that kiss that Spencer replays over and over in his mind, Jon hasn't said more than five words to him. He still acts the same with everyone else, laughing and joking and telling stories that has Patrick hissing and covering whatever Alex is closest's ears. He still wakes them up at eight AM, poking Frank until he grumbles and nearly falls off the top bunk. He still ducks into Spencer's bunk, nudging him quietly because he knows Spencer hates being woken up suddenly in the mornings. He found that out when he'd woken them all up the first morning with an air horn. Spencer had rolled off the bed and landed with a hard clunk on the wood floor; there is a reason he chooses the bottom bunk. So Jon ducks in, shaking him lightly and murmuring in his ear until Spencer mumbles something inaudible and turns over. It's safe then for Brendon to jump on him until Spencer shoves him off the bed moodily.

Jon still sees them off to arts and crafts and meets them after to go swimming or canoeing or even playing whatever sport Cassie has chosen for the day.

He doesn't seem different to everyone else, but to Spencer, he's obviously avoiding him. Normally, this would be a good thing. It would mean that Spencer wouldn't have to work so hard to hide his blushes around Jon or staring whenever Jon's shirt came off.

Now, though, it bothers him and he doesn't understand it. Jon kissed him. Jon stood in that little nook on the hillside and kissed him under the shivering leaves of the oak trees, and Spencer doesn't get it.

So Spencer sits at the picnic table thinking that his candle looks more like regurgitated breakfast than anything else while Brendon makes an ice-cream-candle sundae. Picking at his candle, he watches the wax peel away and knows there is no way his mother is ever going to see this latest creation.

"How's it coming?" Gerard asks, finally leaving where Frank has commandeered all his time to discuss the proper way to braid a wick, and coming over to Spencer and Brendon.

"I'm almost done!" Brendon announces, holding up his candle sitting in a plastic sundae cup.

"That's good," Gerard says, brushing his paint-stained hands down his shirt front. He looks a little out of it as he looks from Brendon's candle to a new row of tie-dyed tee shirts sitting on the laundry line to dry. The pads of his fingers are stained with dye and Spencer wonders if that ever comes out. "Spence?"

Spencer looks down at his candle and its fingernail-streaked sides. "It's a work in progress," he says finally, and Gerard nods slowly.

"Keep it up." Then he wanders away and Spencer shakes his head.

Beside him, Brendon is working on his wick now. He looks up when Spencer just picks up his ugly green candle and peels more wax from it.

"Your mom's not gonna put that up on the mantle if you keep doing that."

"My mom is never gonna see this thing," Spencer replies moodily. He flicks a piece of wax at Brendon, who frowns.

"You've been acting funny," he says, "ever since we got here."

"Have not," Spencer mutters. Brendon doesn't know about his huge gay crush on Jon. Only Ryan does, and Ryan's not there to whine to anymore and it's not as though he gets cell phone service, so calling him won't work either.

"Yeah huh," Brendon argues, so articulately, pulling tight the braid on his wick. "Especially after the hike. Are you homesick or something?"

Spencer rolls his eyes. "I'm perfectly fine."

Brendon doesn't look convinced, but Spencer is grateful when he doesn't push it, but instead returns to his wick.

*

"Alright, so dish," Gabe says after the staff meeting while all the campers are at different activities. It ran long, and Jon really needs to go down to the sports field and collect his group before they attack one of the other cabins. Jon has learned that his cabin doesn't like sports unless they involve bows and arrows. Anything that involves running or kicking can turn ugly fast for the other team or even for each other.

"Dish what?" he asks distractedly as the rest of the counselors leave around them. Tom pats him on his shoulder in a sort of fortifying way on his way past. Keltie and Maja are talking together, but Keltie smiles secretly as she passes Tom. Jon's not going to ask what's going on there.

"Spencer," Gabe says loudly but no one looks at him, too used to his antics to care. "Did you tap that yet?"

Jon's mouth falls open, but he supposes he shouldn't even be surprised at Gabe. He doesn't know what to say for a minute, and Gabe slips an arm around his shoulder, lowering his voice for which Jon is glad. He really doesn't need the entire camp knowing about the drama in his cabin.

"Need more condoms? You should get some before I run out."

"How many are you using?" Jon asks before he can stop himself. He really doesn't need to know that.

Gabe shrugs. "Not just me. Looks like we've got a little love fest going on this year."

Jon follows his gaze as it lands on Alex and Ryland, then on to where Keltie is still talking with Maja and Tom is not-so-stealthily following behind.

"Pete brought his own, so at least I don't have to dish out those. I'd be out in a week."

"Gabe," Jon protests. He really doesn't need to hear this.

"I can't get to town until next week," Gabe continues as though Jon hasn't spoken. "So I'd grab some now if you want."

"I really don't," Jon says, thinking about Spencer and how he hasn't known what to do with himself for the past three days. He isn't sure why he's been avoiding Spencer, but something about him being a counselor and Spencer being a camper floats in the back of his mind. But no thanks to Gabe, he can't stop noticing all the things Gabe pointed out before. He doesn't know how he could have missed the way Spencer had been changing over the past few years, and he doesn't deny that Spencer has been in his thoughts during showers and late at night.

"Your loss," Gabe says, dropping his arm and sweeping off to interrupt Alex and Ryland instead.

*

It's late and Spencer has actually fallen asleep for once rather than lying awake and listening to everyone breath. He's decided not to read into the kiss or whatever it might mean. It was probably just some stupid bet amongst the counselors. They do that sometimes, Spencer knows. The counselors have something like their own little club separate from the campers.

So when Spencer wakes up sometime around one in the morning (his cell phone died two days ago and he can't see his watch in the dark) at the sound of the cabin door, he assumes it's Mikey sneaking out and rolls over, away from the patch of moonlight falling on the ground. He isn't expecting the gentle nudge to his shoulder and the low voice near his ear.

"Spencer."

It's Jon's voice, and Spencer pauses, confused. Turning over, he can see Jon hovering over him. He can barely see the curve of the smile on Jon's face, and he frowns.

"Jon?" he asks, keeping his voice quiet. He's pretty sure Frank and Brendon sleep like logs, but it's still better to be safe.

"Come with me," Jon whispers before disappearing from his bedside.

Confused, Spencer sits up, immediately hitting his head on the top bunk. Frowning, he rubs his head and crawls to the end of his bed, slipping on his flip flops and wondering if he should grab his flashlight, but Jon is waiting by the door, and Spencer can't remember what he was doing when he catches sight of Jon, still dressed in his boxers and tee shirt.

Instead, he stumbles out of bed, opening his mouth to ask when Jon grabs his arm and pulls him out the door.

"Shh," is all Jon says as he slides the door shut quietly. His flashlight bobs on the ground as he turns around.

Spencer closes his mouth and follows Jon quickly, still a little iffy about being out this late at night in the middle of a woods. He jumps at a noise in the bushes, bumping into Jon, who just takes his arm and pulls him forward.

When they're far enough away from the rest of the cabins, Spencer shuffles closer to Jon, wary of the dark bushes alongside the path.

"Where are we going?" he whispers, tripping over a tree root in the darkness. He knows the camp front to back but in the dark he has absolutely no idea where he is or where he's going.

"Just a little further," Jon whispers back although there's no way anyone might hear them now unless they're hiding in the trees.

Spencer stumbles alongside Jon, almost forgetting that he's alone with Jon in the middle of the night in lieu of the fact that it is the middle of the night and they're in a woods filled with cougars and spiders and bears (oh my!) and everything else that might attack them. But Jon has his hand on Spencer's upper arm and it's sort of tingling as Jon leads them through the darkness, the flashlight bobbling along the ground in front.

By the time Spencer's eyes adjust to the stars and the moonlight, he realizes where they are. Jon still has his flashlight out, but the trees have fallen away and the sky is open above them.

"Jon," he says, but Jon shakes his head, leading the way down to the dock where the canoes are piled on the shore. Spencer watches as Jon grabs one and pushes it into the lake. He gestures for Spencer, who somehow doesn't hesitate to join him, climbing in when Jon nods at the canoe.

He doesn't say anything until Jon has clambered in and pushed off, rowing softly and quietly farther away from the shore.

Finally, Jon stops paddling somewhere near the middle, settling the paddle down on the boat floor, and Spencer eyes it. There aren't actual seats in the canoe, just them sitting on hard wooden floors in their boxers and tee shirts. Spencer isn't sure what Jon is up to, but he's nervous, sitting out in the middle of the lake.

"So I guess you're wondering why we're sitting in the middle of the lake at midnight?" Jon says finally, looking at Spencer.

"To look at the stars?" Spencer guesses weakly, fairly sure that isn't the answer. Brendon and Frank would have loved to come along for that.

"Not exactly," Jon allows, and he's biting his lip but Spencer can see a smile tugging his lips anyway.

Spencer swallows nervously. He's hyper-aware that he's still in his boxers and Jon is sitting just a foot away.

"So Gabe seems to think that you like me," Jon says after a minute and Spencer blanches, glad it's dark out.

"I..." he only says, trying to think up an excuse of some sort.

"He says that you want me."

Spencer's eyes are wide. Could he possibly have been that obvious?

"Uhm."

"He said some other things, but it was very Gabe of him, so I won't repeat it."

Spencer is going to have a heart attack unless he finds out what Gabe said. He doesn't ask Jon, though, too busy focusing on the fact that Jon knows about his super huge crush on him now.

Jon shifts slightly and the boat wobbles in the water. "I, uh, I kissed you the other day."

"Yeah," Spencer breathes although there's no need to be quiet. "I remember."

Jon laughs and the sound echoes around the lake. "I thought you might."

Spencer doesn't know what's going on but he can hear his blood pumping in his ears. He tries to swallow it away but it doesn't leave as he stares at Jon.

Jon licks his lips and shifts forward. Spencer can hear the water lap at the sides of the canoe.

"I was thinking that maybe." He pauses and Spencer can feel every breath he takes, slow and deliberate, and he thinks he might pass out. "Maybe I could do it again."

Spencer doesn't speak as Jon leans in, tentative and slow. This has got to be a dream, he thinks when Jon's lips are close enough that he can feel Jon's breath. It's a dream and he's going to wake up hard and have to sneak off to the bathroom again.

But he doesn't wake up, and Jon leans in closer, mouth closing the distance and landing on Spencer's slowly. He doesn't touch Spencer, sitting halfway up on his knees and it's uncomfortable, on the hard wood floor, but he doesn't really care.

Spencer feels Jon's tongue slipping against his lips, soft and careful. That repressed romantic deep down inside him says this is the perfect moment, and Spencer kisses Jon back, leaning into him a little, opening his mouth to Jon's tongue, feeling it brush against his own.

Jon doesn't push too hard. He's not really sure what he's doing since Spencer is still a camper, someone he's known forever now. He's never really looked as Spencer this way before and it's a little weird if he admits it to himself.

Spencer presses forward, feeling the boat wobble as Jon reaches out to steady him, warm hands firm against his waist. Spencer inches forward, rising onto his knees fully and pulling away from Jon's mouth to pant for breath.

"Jon," he whispers and Jon looks at him through dark eyes.

"Yeah?" he murmurs, raising a hand to Spencer's cheek, brushing his hair back and ducking in for a kiss brushed against his bottom lip. He's not sure if he can stop now that he's started.

"I don't know," Spencer mumbles finally, seeking out Jon's mouth in the moonlight and scooting closer. He's close enough that he can feel the warmth of Jon's body, feel how Jon's hand skims down his back, over his tee shirt. It doesn't duck underneath and Spencer is glad. He doesn't want to ruin any of this. He wants to remember this moment forever.

Jon moves quicker now, more sure of himself as he tugs Spencer forward, biting his lower lip and swallowing the soft sigh Spencer lets slip. He shifts and the canoe wobbles dangerously. The wind is picking up around them, but neither notices as they stay wrapped up in each other.

"Mmph," Jon makes a noise into the kiss, pulling away when his knee hits the paddle hard. Pulling back, trying to focus as Spencer goes for his neck, he struggles with the paddle, trying to jerk it out from where they're practically sitting on it.

Spencer nuzzles Jon's jaw as Jon struggles, leaning when Jon does. He feels Jon tugging at the paddle, half-cursing, half-tilting his head back for Spencer, eyes closing even as he gives a hard tug and the paddle comes flying out. Losing his balance, Jon careens sideways and Spencer realizes too late as the canoe tips and a great splash breaks the calm of the water.

Spluttering up in the cold water, Spencer shivers, treading water hurriedly, looking around for Jon, who breaks the surface moments later, coughing and cursing.

"Fuck, that's cold," he says, taking big gulps of air.

"You tipped the canoe," Spencer says as though he can't believe it.

Jon turns to look at the flipped-over canoe and pauses before he lets out a single laugh. It soon turns into full-fledge laughing, and Spencer just knows someone is going to hear him.

"What are you laughing at?" he asks, thinking he should really get to the shore because he's not wearing many clothes and the water is really cold.

Jon tries to stop laughing but fails. "I promised you I wouldn't flip the canoe," he says finally, laughing and grabbing onto the canoe.

Spencer stares until he laughs too and grabs onto the canoe, helping Jon tow it ashore.

*

"Not another friendship bracelet," Spencer groans as he sits down at the table. Brendon already has some bright, neon-colored plastic strings out in front of him.

"No," Brendon says, passing Spencer his own set. "Lanyards, duh. Make your mom a keychain."

Spencer's mom has enough lanyard key chains to give to every person she's ever met one, but he sits down anyway, pulling it to him.

"You seem happier today," Brendon says after a few minutes of Spencer struggling to start his. Brendon's own is already nice and straight.

Spencer scowls immediately, concentrating on his lanyard. Starting is always the hardest part. He shrugs at Brendon. "I don't know."

Brendon pauses, but Spencer knows Brendon well enough to know that Brendon is just biding his time. He doesn't do it very well, but he can.

"Why were your clothes all wet the other day?"

"You tipped the canoe," Spencer says flatly because it's true. He doesn't know why he ever bothers going with Brendon in a canoe.

"Not that night."

Spencer frowns. He really doesn't want Brendon to know about Jon. He doesn't want anyone to know, although apparently Gabe knows, and if Gabe knows, who knows how many of the other counselors know. Jon might be good at keeping secrets, but he's not that good to get around Gabe.

"Gabe pushed me into the shower in my clothes," he lies finally. "You know how he is."

Brendon pauses but nods after a minute. "I heard he dumped Sisky in the lake, and he can't swim. Alex had to rescue him."

Spencer nods, turning back to his lanyard, relieved when Brendon continues to prattle on about Gabe and the rest of his cabin.