1 | Almost Happy ▷ Sam Wilson | ✓

11 - FOR WANT OF PEACE

NICKY HAD MANY SECRETS. Growing up as the son of a murderer and the step-son of a robber, it was safe to say that he had gotten very good at knowing how to dodge prying questions. And a boy without much adult supervision, but a knack for building things, it was safe to say he knew how to cover his tracks and hide his things.

Even from his roommate.

"You alone?"

Nicky nodded as he locked the door to his room, making his way towards his computer screens where Hank McCoy was displayed on one monitor, files and tabs open on others. To an onlooker, the scene seemed to be straight out of a hacker movie, complete with a dark room and supposedly cold air.

"Yeah, Rhett's still at the school, but I have a patient in an hour, so we're gonna have to make this quick," he replied, taking a seat and scanning over all of the open files and tabs, "You found something?"

Hank made a face. "I don't want you to get your hopes up, okay? I don't know what I found."

Nicky sighed and nodded, listening as Hank explained how he had found the information and what he thought it could be. He carefully stored away all the information for later, eyes scanning the screens as Hank controlled his side of them, motioning towards certain documents and video surveillance.

"I think it might be a start, but I wouldn't get my hopes up," Hank finished, slumping back in his seat, "I'm sorry, I just thought maybe this would help, but considering your expression, it didn't."

Nicky gave him a rueful smile. While he appreciated Hank's efforts, he had already gone through this exact process over a hundred times in just the past few months alone, though it was nice to add this to his growing list of patterns. But in terms of what he was looking for, there was nothing new to be found.

"I appreciate your help, Hank," he said finally, "I really do. I just...I don't know. I just wish I could actually find something useful now."

Hank nodded, pursing his lips. "I know how that feels. Trust me, I'm surrounded by people who tend to disappear for ten years, only to show up again when the next major turn of events happens."

Nicky laughed at that, tilting his head back slightly before shaking his head. "Sounds like a fun time. Thanks again, Hank, it means a lot."

"Sure thing," the man replied, "Though, I have to ask, why don't you ask your roommate. You both knew him, don't you think it'd be better to have someone helping who also knew him? Gain different perspective?"

Nicky pursed his lips and shook his head, sighing heavily as he glanced back towards his door, like Rhett was going to materialize out of thin air and catch him; it could happen, now that he was in more control of his powers, he could, theoretically, pop in.

"He wouldn't be happy," he said, shrugging, "In case you're not aware, this isn't exactly what most people categorize as 'healthy.'"

Hank raised an eyebrow. "If you, a professional, know that, then why are you, a professional, still doing this?"

The young man swallowed the growing lump in his throat. "Because I need to."

Because no matter how many years it had been, no matter how futile an effort, a waste of time and money, of resources and sleep and sanity, Nicky was never going to stop searching to Terran Sweets.

○ ○ ○

Nicky was dreaming again. This time, he was watching, and that was almost worse than usual. If anything, he would rather be experiencing it, if only to trick himself into remembering the feeling of Terran hugging him again, as the man always did. To think there had been a time when he had wished the man didn't do that.