1 | Almost Happy ▷ Sam Wilson | ✓

42 - ALMOST HAPPY

NICKY WAS HAVING A REAL DREAM. It had taken him quite a while to realize it, as he was looking into his dream once more, something that hadn't happen in quite some time, except this wasn't a memory. He knew because, despite knowing his mind that this was home, he didn't recognize this place.

He wandered around, searching for something that seemed familiar, wondering if this was simply a memory he couldn't remember. But he could scarcely remember a time when his life wasn't filled with some form of noise, even if was a passing car in the far distance of his silent room.

But, as he continued to walk, he came to realize that there was, in fact, noise.

There were voices all around him, clear, recognizable voices that made him smile, his heart soaring as he listened to them. He couldn't quite make out the words, but they sounded happy. They said words that, while he couldn't understand, made him feel good, words that greeted him like the old friends that they were.

He found himself climbing up a small hill, a bench and a tree coming into view. It wasn't any he recognized, but he felt an indescribable feeling of home. Everything about this filled him with a sense of home.

He approached the person and saw, with a start, that it was himself. He shifted a little, so he could see himself head-on, pausing a ways away, just looking on, trying to see himself.

"Hey, Nicky," a voice greeted, and he turned to see Rhett, walking towards his dream self with a wide smile, walking past him and touching his shoulder.

"Hey, kiddo," another voice said, coming from the other side, and Nicky saw Terran walk behind his dream self, squeezing his other shoulder.

He watched as all these people walked past, ranging from the patients he had long since lost to the people he had just met, teenagers from Midtown to men who should be older than they looked, all of them greeting him and smiling, walking in and out.

The whole time, he looked at himself, but it wasn't until all the people had stopped that he truly saw. His dream self was sitting alone on the bench, smiling.

It was a smile Nicky had never felt, never experienced. It was a smile that he could only describe, just by looking at it, as purely happy. Truly happy. There was nothing behind that smile except an all-encompassing happiness. He looked at that smile and found no want, no longing, no hidden secret or pain.

He was truly happy.

○ ○ ○

Nicky panted as he and Sam paused for a moment, the older man laughing at him as he caught his breath, commenting on Nicky's lack of endurance.

"I was a theatre geek, not a track star," Nicky spat, unable to catch his breath, nearly falling over.

"I was a football player," Sam pointed out, but he laughed, moving to sit down next to him, patting his back as they laid on the grass.

It was much too early for them to be out, yet there they were, Sam having convinced Nicky to go for a run with him in Central Park. The young man had forced himself to get up before the sun, don clothes that were somewhat acceptable for exercise, and try to keep up with his boyfriend. The things he did for the people he loved.

"You okay?" Sam asked, after giving the man enough time to rest and catch his breath.

"No," Nicky coughed, groaning and turning on his side, "God, I don't get you people. You run. For fun? Is it a vanity thing, I mean, you're already really attractive, and Steve's really gotta start investing in bras, I don't see why you need to do this every morning."